If any animal bite could give you super powers, what animal do you want to be bitten by and which super power do you hope to get?
The Immortal Jellyfish, taking their transdifferentiation ability in which they can reverse aging and damage at macro and cellular levels.
I'd be worried that picking jellyfish might cause you to lose your brain as well. Which would be pretty inconvenient outside of preparing you for a career in politics.
Mm, I assumed that wasn't part of the deal. Spider-Man didn't get the brain of a spider. It's only select characteristics.
Hey-oh!
That was super interesting, thanks for linking that!
Bitten by a radioactive housecat, I gain the ability to sleep deeply and comfortably in a position that by all rights looks like it should be destroying my spine
Like I'll take whatever else you wanna throw on top, night vision or claws or something, but I only really need that first thing
Bats, I want their crazy advanced immune system and interferon production. Bats are tiny mammals with a metabolism even faster than a rat/mouse due to the high energy needs of powered flight. Typically, small mammals with this fast of a metabolism will live like 2-5 years, because cell division is so rapid that after only a few years, the cells' DNA becomes too damaged to continue. However, bats have insane immune systems. They're immune (asymptomatic carriers) to nearly every virus capable of infecting them because their immune systems produce so much interferon that any damage to the DNA (eg from a virus inserting code for its own reproduction into a cell) is corrected almost immediately. This process also partially repairs damage from cell-division, meaning that bats can live up to ~40 YEARS depending on the species. If a human had that ability, it would be like living to 400 or 500 years old, and being immune to nearly every disease (between native viral immunity, and antibiotics for bacterial infections)
Also Monitor Lizards. They're the most intelligent squamate reptile (group that includes all living reptiles except turtles, crocodilians, and birds, who are archosauromorphs), except for possibly the cobra. But, they're still cold-blooded, so I can just nap on a hot rock without eating for 2 days and be Fine. They do get Stupid when the temperature drops too much (lowers their metabolic rate, and intelligence uses lots of energy), but I live in Florida, so that's fine💀. They're also one of the only lizards that can both breathe and walk at the same time (apparently most squamate reptiles use the same muscles for breathing as moving their forelimbs?? Wack.). This is how they became so intelligent, there was more O2 coming into the body, so the overall metabolic budget to evolve stuff like Large Brain became much larger.
Also they're adorable, monitor lizards can be so friendly, curious, and playful, they're like the Lizard version of cat imo. I really want one, they even like to cuddle (humans are Warm, and they're smart enough to recognize and trust you enough to want cuddles). I'm gonna get a cute little Ackie monitor once I graduate college I think.
Wow. I was going to say bat for flying and echolocation but will take what you are having, that is an awesome bat fact.
a cat. I would like my superpower to be that everybody treats me like a cat
Please get off the couch and stop licking yourself.
Nonchalantly pushed you off a cliff
Pss pss pss psss
Ok, I'm giving up on the cuttlefish powers for this. Also I'm be soft and flexy and faster than I already am! Also secret claws!
Most importantly, I can figure out how to be comfortable practically anywhere!
A kitten, and my superpowers are gonna be huge dick and $10k/day.
Next question.
How isn't there one post mentioning Mantis shrimp for the vision and punching power. Or any gorilla for being vegan and jacked. What about a giraffe? You could taste a women's urine to know if she's ovulating. Are these not no the default answers?
Mantis Shrimp have worse colour vision than humans. They need all those receptors because their brains are too simple to combine colours like a human brain can. A human can see hundreds of shades of purple in between red and blue. A mantis shrimp can only see as many colours as it has receptors. It's like seeing in 8 bit.
Everyone seems to think the question says you get powers related to the animal that bites you, but it isn't worded that way. I'd get bit by a kitten and have the power of telekinesis, which is really multiple powers. I could fly, create forcefields, create cold or heat by moving atoms, hell, I could create all kinds of things by manipulating atoms.
You have cheated my system. As punishment I will make sure no super power granting animal ever bites you. Muhahaha!
Everyone seems to think the question says you get powers related to the animal that bites you, but it isn't worded that way.
You cheeky fucker. I like your thinking.
If we're being pedantic, aren't cat bites actually super dangerous because of infections and bacteria?
Why get bit by a cat? I'd picka mosquito. Been there, done that 1000 times already...
An axolotl. I love swimming, less so the idea of SCUBA diving. I'd spend so many hours just chilling in the coral reefs on a sunny day. They're amphibious too so it means I could breathe just fine on land and in the water!
I'll go with orangutan, and gain the ability to shift how my muscles are attached to my bones so I can adjust fine muscle control vs raw power.
"I'm sorry officer, it's not my fault I was going 60, I forgot to reconfigure my leg muscles"
Octopus. I would hope to get the ability to shape shift.
I'm answering in the spirit of the question, but it wasn't specified that the animal has to match the power. In that case, I'd choose basically the smallest thing that could feasibly bite me. A tardigrade for example.
Human, so that I can be even humaner. If I can get humaner enough I might bypass superhuman and become hyperhuman. I didn't know if that will give me 5th-dimensional awareness or make me explode, but if superpowers are involved, there's only one way to find out.
Alternatively a mountain goat so I can wall-run through downtown like it's fucking Skyrim.
"Man-Man! He's bestowed with all the powers of a man... but he's a man."
"Oh, I bet Man-Man gets his powers from Robert Bly!"
Do the superpowers have to correlate to the abilities of the animal that bites me, like Spider-Man?
Probably a grasshopper, if so. Being able to bound to basically anywhere I need to get would be nice, get some wings to course correct in the air. Or a mantis shrimp because then I really would never have to worry about losing a fight.
But if it's any animal/any superpower: mosquito/super speed
Tardigrade, I'd have extreme resistance to basically all climates and can be dried up and rehydrated back to life effectively allowing me to "travel" through time by waiting in death...so my shows are all finished lol.
I'd also make a great astronaut
Edit: words
There is a pickle rick joke to be made in there somewhere...
Or Discovery joke...
An Asian palm civet, giving me the power to crap out exclusive high-priced coffee beans.
Cow
Big tits
Udder madness.
Dog.. I just want to be happy.
Quokka.
Eternal Happiness.
Dog, so that I could lick my own... belly...
Ladybug bite.
I would like to attain their hard candy shell and ability to fly.
A lizard, then a pig.
Chop off a limb. Eat bacon.
Repeat.
Free bacon forever!
Comments like this is why I love Lemmy.
I choose to get bitten by a catgirl and gain the power of not actually existing.
I was also going to say cat girl, especially if it means I can open up an onlyfans with my powers and make bank.
This is actually very attainable, although don't do the second part :(
yes I would like to sign up to be bitten by a human woman, ty
wait, I get a free superpower too!?
(I'll take super intelligence cuz maybe it'll cancel out my stupidity then)
A turtle! 🐢
Edit, almost forgot:
Wombat. The power to take square shits.
A cat so I can lick my own ass
I would get bit by a cat because i know that's going to happen anyway. I would choose the power to import thoughts into other people.
Water bear. I want to live forever and be a cutie.
Even though I'm scared of heights, being able to fly sounds fun. So maybe a bat or something?
Or maybe just a wolf so I can live out elaborate werewolf fantasies.
A Sloth and have Sloth abilities.
Me also. Be nice to sleep 8 hours again and feel good in the morning.
I'll take housecat for the superpower of being an anime catboy. And having barbs in uncomfortable places.
fish and breathing underwater
That would be fun to randomly swim around.
I want the deep dive abilities of a Sperm Whale. Able to hold my breath for 90 minutes and survive 100+ atmospheres of pressure.
You'll have to survive the bite first.
Juuuuust the tip.
Alternately, get bitten by a sperm and spend your life drowning in pussy.
A small spider bite, which gives me the ability to punch someone in the mouth through their TV or computer screen....It has always been one of my ideas for an online business
This is excellent. I have a very long list.
Dog. I could train myself to find stuff (drugs and money, for starters) with my excellent sense of smell.
Ill throw wombat into the mix because I want to flip trucks dig tunnels and shit cubes.
All I know that if this works intraspecies, dentists would collect all the powers of various people through incidental biting like Megaman.
Unfortunately, the bites also transfer all mental/emotional baggage.
A chameleon so I can get the ability to camouflage. Well as long as I don't move. Also I think I can grab the TV remote controller with my tongue. Or do insane tricks throwing food and catching it with my tongue. And well... maybe other nice things to find out with that tongue. 🔞
also, the eyes!
"Yes mom, I am paying attention to your story about who you met at the grocery store and definitely not just looking at my phone...."
A platypus. Because they're so wild and unique, who knows what powers that would grant.
Fuck, I just got a duck beak.
The good: Honestly spider was a pretty solid choice, but I'll go with an eagle for the flight and government immunity
The bad: A human (no powers)
The ugly: A wolf (furry)
Spider would be cool tbh. Tho what if you get their fucked up reproductive process where the female lays dozens or hundreds of eggs at once and also maybe tries to Eat her male partner, depending on species.
Or like, you lose your teeth and have to eat by injecting caustic fluid inside Whole Organisms to dissolve their tissues and slurp them up with your Newly-Formed palps/pedi-palps.
You might get venom, which is cool, but most spiders are only venomous to other arthropods because most spiders hunt primarily arthropods (occasionally small amphibians or reptiles for larger species, a couple tarrantulas are known to opportunistically hunt rodents or bird hatchlings, but they don't have venom to begin with, so whatever). Unless you get a black widow or brown recluse or something. A dose of that vemon from a human sized Black Widow or Brown Recluse chimera (the Type of Thing you are now) would like 99% be enough to kill a person
Octopus
Pro:
Con:
Edit1: Fixed Spoiler
Edit2: Fill spacecraft with water -> No Zero-G downsides, radiation shielding, can withstand extreme accelerations (Synergizes with Flexibility and Genome Modding)
I'd get bitten by a gnat, and hope for mind control.
Edit: Y'all, the rules doesn't say there has to be a correlation between the animal and the super power. People out here wanting to get bitten by big dangerous animals smdh
I would go for a mosquito bite, and hope to recive teleportation. Though I do hope to keep my clothes when I teleport.
The mosquito had malaria. 😞
Cat. The power to flexibly laze on any surface, anywhere, anytime.
A predatory bird, which would give me extra cones and rods to see more colors / spectrum as well as possibly telescopic vision.
A shark, so I can swim better and breathe underwater. Then maybe I won’t be so afraid of large bodies of water.
If you want cool eyes, go with the Mantis Shrimp tbh, they've got like 7 or 8 different cone cells for everything from ultraviolet to infrared. IIRC scientists don't think their brains are powerful enough to fully use all that info at once, but I feel like connecting that to a brain that's like 1000x as powerful would fix that.
I'd hope you'd just get the extra cone cells and not compund eyes tho, compound eyes would be Difficult for a human to adopt to, since our visual cortices evolved to process two high resolution visual streams and not like,, 100 shitty visual streams.
I think you could just plug an eye with extra cone types directly into a human brain tho, there are people born with tetrachromia (4th cone cell that extends a bit into the ultraviolet iirc), and they can utilize information from the extra cone cells perfectly fine.
Afaik, the human eye lens absorbs most UV light, so people with tetrachromia can't actually see much UV, but it does give them way more precise color vision overall, because instead of infering colors based on 4 values (red, green, blue, and overall brightness), you're adding a 5th value for violet, which makes colors that look similar to baseline humans easier to tell apart. There are people with no lens on their eyes (either a birth defect or they had to be removed) who can fully see UV radiation tho, I don't even think it requires tetrachromia, the blue cone cells are very slightly sensitive to UV if none of it is absorbed by the lens.
Human/dolphin/pig i am already good in the intelligence department, but it's never too much or something like a turtle, I would live around 200 years, but would have severe motor problems. Intelligence, time and knowledge are the most important abilities imo.
A cat so I don't have to explain why I need alone/chill time at home. It would be cool to be able to jump higher and dunk when around basketball hoops too.
Idk, humans are cleverer than the average fox, it might just make you cuter (foxes are adorable) and more prone to pissing in random locations (domesticated foxes love to pee all over your shit, they can be litterbox trained, but it's hard). Possibly claws and fangs also, which could be useful
Nobody has mentioned radioactive spiders? It was the first thing I thought of.
Meh. That's been done.
Get with the times, it's now a GMO spider. :-)
The immortal jellyfish that can regenerate itself. (Turritopsis dohrnii medusa)
flight, so any bird ig
I'd love to be bitten by some mad scientist named Francis and become immortal. A reign of absolute terror would befall this world.
:3
I want to get bitten by a baby red panda and gain the power to hibernate through winter.
And that is the kilian experience.
Red sea urchin. Long life and limb regeneration.
I don't want to turn back into a baby like those who chose the immortal jellyfish.
Wait, it would be cool if you could relive your childhood once in a while.
Least Weasel. Super powers would be a human version of the weasel war dance and boundless energy for about 4 hours per day. Weaknesses would be my ADHD and sleeping 20hrs per day.
First a giraffe, for a super long neck. Then a fish for gils.
That's it I'm just curious what it would look like. Ill probably go live in a loch or something.
Turritopsis dohrnii, for their phoenixlike lifecycle.
What if you don't keep your memories and just come out as a genetically identical baby of yourself? Turritopsis dohrnii sounds like a cnidarian or some sort (I know loads of jellyfish have life cycles like that), and they don't have brains, so there's no part of their metamorphosis back to the larval phase (whatever it's called for cnidarians) that would preserve your brain.
I want to get bitten by a capybara and get the superpower of being chill 100% of the time.
Have you considered switching to indicas?
Based on the internet it also seems like every creature on earth is totally down to give a capybara a piggyback ride. I assume that influence is part of the capybara's powers.
I think peter from dead pool got that one