Llituro wins by doing absolutely nothing

I think declining birthrate ( without doing some malthusian eugenics shit) isn't necessarily a bad thing long term.

Yeah the position a lot of people have on here with regards to birthrates, the position that Othello was calling out, where people think that if you improve "material conditions" more women will start having children, is just not compatible with reality.

In reality, the poorest countries with the worst education have the highest birthrates, while the wealthiest countries with good education have the lowest birthrates. I've also gotten into this in previous comments as well. As materialists, our positions should be based in reality and not vibes, and the reality is very clear on this.

I remember a conversation I had with a friend who'd been getting really into Hardcore History and wanted to talk some cool ass history with me, the history minor

We got on the topic of how the aztecs had instituted a sort of doctrinal loophole saying that women who died in childbirth also got to go to the Valhalla-equivalent that was normally for men who died in combat. I laughed and said "well yeah, I can imagine plenty of women didn't want to risk their fucking lives by having kids back then, makes sense that there would be a lot of reluctance towards childbirth that they'd try to address with a little media campaign."

This friend got really upset with me and claimed that I was projecting modern attitudes (woke wasn't really a big term yet) onto the past. I wanted to smoke his weed so I didn't start an argument but the patriarchy detector was beeping like crazy

MUCH LOVE TO OTHELLO

So proud to have Othello as my friend.

when it actually is the opposite

... This wasn't widely understood here?? Even Reddit of all places knows this

I think it's mostly that, but a bit of the other- a lot of people actually want to have 1 or 2 kids and literally can't because they can't afford it, or can't even socialize or date in the first place because they cant afford it. But yeah people don't come into money and prosperity and decide to have 12 children.

this was very obviously cishet men. i haven’t seen a trans dude ever say it was a good idea to put a woman in physical danger out of spite.

i feel like having 3 separate comms for enby stuff will just end up splitting the userbase too much, probably best to consolidate. the number of posts here are kinda low outside of the megathread, for instance. according to the survey the majority of trans users here arent fully binary, about 2/3rds arent, which potentially means killing all four communities without a big tent (binaries might feel it unreasonable to post in a enby megathread and vice versa) or just everyone keeps doing what theyve been doing which is posting in traa.

UNLIMITED REPORTS ON THE 1ST WORLD (hexbear)

Hell yeah, I might even start reporting my own posts when I go in the self crit "where did I go wrong/could've phrased this better/could've developed this point in a more dialectical manner" sessions

agreed. theres a substantial amount of christian moralism among western leftists

Thank you for saying this sneak, I present femme but I don't see myself as any gender (I'm agender). I wouldn't be posting in womenby because I don't see myself as a woman, and I found it questionable having that plus menby it felt a bit strange seeing that split like that and back to the binary imo which I feel excludes me, I don't think enbies should be in the gender box but that's me. But I'll continue to post in the trans mega as is the norm

I guess I assumed that /c/womenby does already include all enbies and not just "femme enbies", so then does the creation of /c/menby require an exodus of "masc enbies" to a different comm? Why are we doing gender segregation for enbies?

Why would it "require" an exodus or do gender segragation? It's not as if anybody is running a secret database of the AGAB of neopronoun users on hexbear and bans them for posting in the wrong com (not to mention that pronouns aren't surefire indicators of gender). I know a lot of transmasc enbies who get massive dysphoria from being lumped in with fem people, being treated as "women light" etc. A lot of transmasc nonbinary people are very close in gender identity and presentation to men, if they do not downright use a label like "nonbinary trans man" for themselves, not to mention that their lived experience is usually much more marked by struggles with toxic norms of masculinity than with (trans)misogyny. Over here in Germany, whether transmascs even want to be included in the FLINTA acronym (women, lesbians, nonbinary, trans, inter and agender) is a recurring point of debate in trans spaces because the label in practice is often used as a more inclusive form of saying "women only".

ofc individual attitudes to this can vary a lot. A lot of the transmac nonbinary people i know are staunch feminists, but that doesn't necessarily mean they feel at ease in a "no men allowed" space. I think it's a good thing when they have the option to discuss masculinity with other transmascs and cis men, and i think many of them have valuable perspectives that cis men could benefit from.

yeah this has kinda been a problem for me my whole life tbh. i've spent like 15+ years in trans communities and reinventing the gender binary is something i've seen happen repeatedly, with enbies just kind of expected to go along with whatever is the opposite of their assigned gender. tho these comms aren't trans exclusive they do kind of have the same effect of just recreating the gender binary, and splitting up the enby community along birth assignment lines.

i also think it misunderstands the reason to make a group for women and enbies - to be clear i think this comm in particular is fine. it's just somewhat undermined by the existence of c/menby. given that we live in a patriarchy, women and nonbinary people have legitimate reason to organise with each other against patriarchy n misogyny. such a group for men and enbies just doesn't make sense. we should not exactly be organising against women. and yeah, i know c/menby is not (supposed to be) anti-woman, it's (supposed to be) for them to educate themselves. but in that context, enbies are politically aligned with women and should be actively included in the space rather than just passively jammed in.

we should keep c/womenby, change c/menby to just like c/men(i've reconsidered my name recommendation, see edit) or something to that effect, if it can be maintained as a space for deconstructing patriarchy rather than generating toxic masculinity, and maybe a nonbinary space of our own.

EDIT: I think the community should be called c/deconstructing_masculinity to make it harder for it to turn into a breeding ground for misogyny.

I run an inclusive space for everyone who is not a cis man and we use the terminology “people of marginalised genders”. It’s clunky but it works. We started out with something similar to “womenby” but we got a lot of criticism for being exclusionary.

I guess I would tentatively suggest one group for all marginalised genders and a separate comm for discussion of masculinity.

Absolutely astounding amount of self reports, love to see it.

reopening it in the post about the misogyny purge just kinda derails the actual discussion and expects the people misgyny is directed at to do all the work of educating them.

The idea behind it is that masc and masc-aligned people would be doing the bulk of work educating other mascs, sorry if that wasn't clear. You're absolutely right that it's the responsibility of mascs to educate themselves first and then educate others without pushing that work onto femmes. We also see all the comments regarding how the comms are named and how its problematic, so we're discussing that as well.

c/womenby already has some necessary theory up, go forth and self educate!

a significant failure in empathising with women and others marginalised by patriarchy, and understanding how the violence of patriarchy affects our existence.

I wish I could be shocked by this

I think the issue runs deeper than dudes forgetting that DV is a thing that exists and might play a role.

Its this simplistic worldview, matching the situation at hand to a predefined response. "This thing is bad and needs to be corrected case closed." It's thought terminating laziness. "If I can't think of other factors there aren't any". It's arrogance. Best case that is. Often enough it will be them imagining a scenario where they get to exact violent (aka heroic) "justice". And blowing a situation up like that is already violence, regardless of any potential DV. The goal is to put the offender (i.e. cheater) in their place.

The whole concept of people "getting what's coming to them" is revelling in violence. But then you see your kind get called out on it and suddenly you're unsure what type of situation this is and how to correctly respond to it and pull the "I'm just a small bean cishet male uwu please educate me on the correct take oh sage feminists I come in peace and to learn" card. Give me a break. Unless there is a specific question they are just looking to expand their catalogue of Good Takes^TM so they can earn some brownie points (and often just for asking).

Ask this cishet guy how he knows...

If they aren't putting in effort to their question they aren't gonna put effort into synthesising the response no matter how much effort the responder put into it.

yes, hadn't thought about it that way but it's been thoroughly taken out of context as a meme. The "funny" is the clash of the subject matter and the webcomic format.

We then forget the actual people who go through this experience, i'm not sure if a CW would be enough if we would continue using the meme

spooky, i just remembered it exists & was wondering what the stance would be on it now. i mean, it's a tagline here, correct?

Maybe even a "shush 🤫" bot, but it only responds to the boys.

There is 13650 + 120 pages of users with he/him in their display name.

At 10 seconds between each page, that's 1370 seconds, or nearly 23 minutes to go through each page, nevermind having to also send requests to ban people.

Edit: 13650 + 20 is 6820 users, at 10 seconds between each user (so the rate limiter doesn't kick in) that's 68200 seconds, 1137 minutes or nearly 19 hours. It could be cut down by excluding banned and deleted users, and further by excluding users without content (no posts or comments), but still...

never hit the Report button without sweating profusely first

same ❤️

i actually think this is genuinely a better response than permabans. after all, someone can simply make a new account and choose to be silent about their awful opinions (they could still do this regardless, admittedly) if banned, but being forced to reckon with one's mistakes is the good shit that personal growth is made of.