My dearest Lemmy, what is the appliance you have the most beef with?
The appliance that elicits anger and frustrated at it's mere sight. The treacherous device that never worked right.
The microwave, because my roommates insist on having a model that beeps every 30 seconds after it finishes cooking so you don't forget you had food in there. They still forget, though. It just gets on my nerves while I try to wash some dishes while waiting for the microwave to finish, or if I'm using it as part of prepping while cooking.
The humble Mandoline
Severed fingertips await
Holy fuck what
My old microwave wouldn't cook anything if the date wasn't set.
Yes. The date.
Now that's a good prank
Find an old 70s Amana Radarange on Marketplace or whatever local selling forum is available to you.
I have both 1972 (analog rotary dials) and 1976 (electrostatic push button) models, and they can bring a cup of water to boil in less than 30 seconds. Most any modern microwave I’ve tried this on needed 2-8 minutes to do the same damn thing.
you can get a modern high power microwave, you just need to look out for the wattage. boiling a cup of water in 30 seconds is not unheard of
ZigBee buttons for Home Assistant.
Danalock smart locks. They are garbage locks by a garbage company and everything surrounding it is pure trash.
Is a printer an appliance? 🤔
I dont remember when but the printer was an evil demon sent from hell, then all of a sudden printers just got good.
I cant remember what the last serious issue I had with a printer was.
I cant remember what the last serious issue I had with a printer was.
I do, it was immediately before I switched to a Brother.
Not when I am done with it. From having to support them before I am so glad I don't own one.
You need to look into something thoroughly classic, like an HP 4050DTN. I’ve had mine since 1999 and it’s lasted me through two degrees with only 3 toner cartridges. I get the ones that can do 20,000 sheets at 5% coverage. And while yes, other parts like the fuser are now clamouring for replacement, to date the only things I have ever done are replace the toner cartridges and upgrade the JetDirect module to keep pace with my wired network.
Not bad for a printer that’s a quarter century old.
Edit: JFC I feel old now.
My fridge because once a year it seems the coils freeze over.
I'm about to smash my goddamn phone. i can buy the best phone with all of my money and it still sucks ass
I think we are asking too much of phones. I’m not even certain we are in charge of the wanting any more… they dangle… we salivate.
No… I haven’t gone back to flip phone yet but I’m sure tempted.
A few years ago we bought a dishwasher when we were in no place to be spending money on something unnecessary, but my wife was 8 months pregnant and wanted one. We bought the cheapest one at I think Lowes, if I recall correctly it was around $100, maybe $120.
The ducking thing doesn't have buttons, it has some stupid sensor panel, not touchscreen but is supposed to mimic it I guess. The sensors just don't fucking work, ever. I spend 10 minutes loading the thing and 15 minutes trying to get it to start. Most of the time I have to cut the power from the breaker a few times to eventually get it to work. It'll just change through all the settings beeping like crazy, so we have to keep it shut which means our dishes don't dry properly. For a while I could only get it to start on the intense mode so it took 3 hours to run, now it only works on normal. It's like I have to do a magic spell each time but the steps change weekly.
I would love to throw it out and get a new one but it technically works and it's only 3 years old.
A dishwasher is, IMHO, not unnecessary. If they're used efficiently ie only run when they're full, they use considerably less water than washing by hand does, does a better job than I do and I push a button and don't have to participate any more until it's done. Plus, depending on the energy makeup of your country/home setup, use a lot less energy to heat the water than your domestic hot water does too.
When you have the money, get a Bosch 800 series.
Like, my god it’s practically perfection. Don’t use pods, you need to use HE powder, but otherwise this is the best consumer dishwasher I have ever seen short of an industrial model.
...or consider boycotting Bosch, due to their move towards cloud-required-to-run dishwashers.
Watch the first 30 seconds of this to see how much nonsense the Bosch 500 has going on.
Using pods is a waste of money anyway
Mashing machine. BEEP BEEP BEEP shut the fuck up bro
Nothing makes me particularly angry, but I'd really like if my washing machine had an accurate sense of time. It's so far off sometimes I might as well just pretend there's no timer. 1 hr 10? Come back in 1 hr to find it's got 58 minutes to go. Which is sometimes 10 minutes but might actually be 58. Or 30. Or 70.
Dumb fucking thing. Doesn't even do multiple cycles in a row so it's not like the timer resets for the next bit.
Yeah this drives me insane too.
Dont have a timer if its guessing
Maybe I'm just stupid but I have a helluva time opening cans
I just use a knife. My wife got a fancy electric can opened a few years back and loves it but I can't stand the thing.
Get a P38.
It works.
My wife doesnt like how much noise it makes and says its messy and violent and dangerous to open anything with a gun. We are eating a lot more soup now though.
those are great when you need to pack light, but holy shit it's a pain in the ass to open a can with those things. feels like it's going to rip my goddamn fingers off
Ohh is that the proper name for them, found it on eBay very cheap. Ages ago I was annoyed at tin openers but tried one that should stab through the lid and then lever through. It broke within a day or two, it was rivited together and they failed.
Think I might just buy some, also a more practical size for taking out and cooking over a stove.
Agreed. Simple, cheap, reliable, and faster than struggling with that piece of shit opener that barely works and you should have thrown away years ago.
If I were running a soup kitchen, I'd have a different preference, but reliable lever openers like the P38, P51, or even the opener on a leatherman serves my needs better than any of these POS twist-style openers.
My oven is a piece of shit that has unreliable temperature control and manages to have hot spots even with the fan on. I bought it new and I don't think it will die any time soon. Joke is I paid a lot more than for my previous oven and it's the worst piece of shit I've ever had, a miniature countertop oven I had way back that was old as balls gave more consistent results.
Printers/Fax machines.
Get yourself a Brother brand laser printer. Best damn printer I've ever used. Every device auto connects as long as it's on the wifi and it's never failed to print in the thousands of sheets I've ran through it, with and without the software package they offer. Basic drivers are good enough for 90% of what I've needed
Or for low tech bulletproof reliability, a vintage HP 4050DTN. Mine has lasted a quarter century and two degrees on only 3 toner cartridges, a JetDirect module upgrade, and paper. It’s still working with the original fuser and rollers, although they’re beginning to need replacement.
Alexa.
I keep buying cheap toaster ovens. I keep paying the price for it. At least I know my smoke alarms work
We must've lucked right out because we bought the literal cheapest toaster we found ($12 about 9 years ago). No special features, not even a cancel button, just a little knob for the doneness. It worked so well for the 7 or 8 years we had it, and the only reason we replaced it was cause we wanted a 4-slice toaster.
Thing was a champ, I was trying to see if I could find it online but can't see it anymore. I think it was Master Chef brand.
We have an Oster one now with a fancy touch screen that I can see is about $70. It works about as well as the previous one we had.
Get yourself a nice Panasonic one. $150-ish I have one that's over 10 years old
Firewalls in general.
What about them?
They are so often stateful and fall over when some scanner comes by, or if a light DNS DoS attack happens, compromising the entire access link, when the scanned systems or the DNS server weren't even bothered by the amount of requests.
They introduce weird unexpected restrictions, like preferring to blackhole our customers traffic rather than accepting some asymmetric routing. And then we get blamed for their setup, which they don't even know.
They ossify protocol development in general, requiring things like header encryption in QUIC to force them to ignore things that aren't their business anyway.
They are apparently also expensive as hell, multiple customers have declined upgrades because they don't have fast enough firewalls and not enough budget to buy faster ones.
Those are the ones that come to mind right now. There are also occasional bugs that make our or our customers lives difficult, but I can't recall a clear one at the moment.
I have a Samsung printer that simply hates me. Whenever I need to print something urgently it will disappear from the wifi. It shows up for a few milliseconds when restarted and disappears again. However when you have the time and energy to investigate the problem it works flawlessly.
It's not the printer, dude. It's the radio.
Agreed. In the IT industry as a tech since 1997, and even now everything except for my iDevices and one wireless bridge to the far side of the house is hardlined. I absolutely despise WiFi, from long experience.
The stove in the place I rent. Only been living here maybe 2 years... and that thing is the devil. I thought it was just me getting used to an electric stove again. Nope, that thing is just a piece of shit.
Nothing can simmer, nothing can be left unattended for more than a few minutes (at most), it can't maintain anything close to a consistent temperature, and forget boiling water before you die of old age... I use an electric kettle just so I can boil noodles in less than 40 minutes
Maybe it's my pots?... nope, I've tried. Maybe I'll get better at using it?... no, and at this point I wouldn't even want to. It's just a piece of shit. My mother-in-law is a great cook, and she was pissed when she burned smothered chicken on it... because she hasn't burned smothered chicken in probably 20+ years; she confirms the stove is garbage
Fuck that stove
Thanks for hearing my rant, I feel a little better now
Edit: I forgot to mention that the fucker is BRAND NEW too. We're literally the first people to use it. Garbage-ass, giant piece of horse shit...
I trust your mom. She's gonna be right.
You could get your thermostat checked. Depending on the stove, it's something you could probably do yourself. It's like a ten dollar part, maybe?
We're just planning on moving now, cause we hate this place and there's a multitude of problems: A/C can't keep up with cooling the house, costs a fuck-ton in energy bills, the management company won't fix shit and they're a nightmare to work with. They tried to blame us for rats getting into the attic, when it was a known problem before. Took us 2 months to make them hire pest control, and then acted like we should be grateful for normal-upkeep, and not having rats get inside
The neighborhood is actually nice, but the big-name management company are basically slum lords with a smile. But we had 3 dogs at the time and rental options were few, that had a fenced yard and would accept 3 dogs. 2 of them sadly passed this past year, and as much as I miss them and it wrenched my heart... we realized we could probably find something better now and not need such a large yard (our last dog is old too, and doesn't romp in the yard anymore. He just enjoys little walks now)
The stove is just one of the things I hate about this place and I don't want to fix any of their shite, even for $10. We're just making it work for now
Brother
In grad school I picked up a an old free HP LaserJet, with an Ethernet NIC card (it was an upgradable printer, maybe from the mid 2000s?).
It was great! Only complaint was no duplexer, but the thing printed great from Linux and the generic toner was cheap.
Today though...the experience is a bit different.
Yeah I got an HP laser MFC with like 3 new carts 10 years ago. NIC and Duplex. Going to have it for at least 10 more years or brother when it dies.
I really cannot believe we fucked printers in so many unique ways.
Etc. etc.
HpLJ4 was a wonderful beast.
Having said that, "print drivers" need to be "I'm gonna blow a PDF onto your port 9100 and you better make the things go on the goddamned paper or you fail and it's the wood chipper for you". I'm tired of everything else.
My favourite bad security thing about them is that it's possible to hack them with a fake fax.
any fucking thing with touchscreens or touch buttons. those stupid things barely ever work and imagine not being able to use your appliance once that shit breaks.
WE WANT BUTTONS
It registers when my thumb brushes against the screen for a nanosecond but when I want it to register a press I have to tap the screen like a maniac.
Touch screen at work highlights the button I press. And then proceeds to not count it as a button I pressed. Fucker I saw the animation, you know I've pressed it, input the fucking number.
Printers
Do printers count? I fucking HATE printers.
After some half a century of existing they are somehow still annoying to use.
Try industrial label printers. They are like printers on hard mode.
Printers are a given, I figure.
I have a black and white samsung printer that is like a decade old with the only maintenance being adding the powdered ink and replacing the roller thingy a couple of times. Always works, never had an issue, printed thousands of pages over time in spurts of hundreds at a time and even not printing for like two years.
On the opposite end inkjet printers are the fucking worst computer accessory I've ever dealt with. They have always been a shitshow even before they started the ink pricing shenanigans because they are finicky and unreliable to start with.
I got a Brother printer. I hate it less than my HP and Cannon ones I used to use but it’s still a printer. A sin which cannot be redeemed
I'd enjoy my Epson Eco tank printer more if it wasn't trying to constantly update firmware, apps, drivers, etc.
I'm not setting up faxing. Stop asking.
Stop buying shitty ink jet printers and get a laser printer. Pretty sure the Brother MFC my dad purchased a decade ago will outlive him.
I do think that most people would be happier with lasers, especially on the "clogged nozzle and requires regular use" front (though now there are also lasers that also do the "razor and blades" sales model, with a cheap printer and more-expensive toner).
However, there are legitimately some people who do need inkjets for one reason or another.
Came here to say this. F all printers ever made.
Inkjet printers clogging and requiring ink refills aside, I don't think I've ever been unhappy with (2D) printers. I've used....continuous-feed dot-matrix printers, a thermal wax printer, laser printers, a text-only line printer, and a continuous-feed plotter. They all worked pretty well.
And honestly, I'm still kind of impressed at what inkjet printers can turn out on photo paper, even if I wouldn't buy one for my own uses.
I had one very elderly Apple laser printer that I picked up once that someone was throwing out. Back in the 1980s and 1990s, laser printers were wonder printers that business users might have, but home users mostly didn't have in their price range --- fast output, sharp text, but expensive; always wanted one, but I wasn't going to buy one. It didn't have much memory, so there were some limitations on the complexity of what it could print. I rigged up the lpd on my computer to do all the rendering of vector Postscript images and convert it into a fax-compressed raster image and hand it off to the printer, so aside from taking a while to transfer the resulting image to the printer, it could pretty much handle anything. It served for something like ten years, with the remainder of the original toner cartridge lasting something like five of that, and I only tossed it because I wanted a higher-resolution printer, not because it had any problems functioning. I could probably still be using that thing. Kinda have some warm fuzzies remembering that ancient thing still soldiering on.
"Smart" TVs.
I just want my TV to show pretty pictures with sound thrown at it by the digital receiver. If I want, I can attach a computer for streaming. How is that such a big ask?!
sceptre makes a dumb tv thats pretty ok
TV's are actually cheaper not because the tech necessarily being more available (even though it should) but instead it's because companies are harvesting your data on smart tv's and selling it making more profit than they would make with just selling you a TV. On a separate but somewhat related note, has anyone else noticed smart phones becoming more expensive as they become more protective of the users privacy?
I couldn't find a dumb TV, so I got a smart one didn't give it wifi access. Every time I turn it on, it shows me a clock that's wrong and I think "Not so smart now, are you?". It's a perfectly functional dumb TV.
Yep. Best way to get a TV that will never sell your data or show ads is to literally blacklist its MAC address at the router level, and then assign the "smart" functionality to a device environment you control, like a Shield Pro with a custom launcher or an Intel NUC media PC or NAS or something similar.
The dumb ones are typically "display" monitors, like what fast-food restaurants use for their menus. Likely more expensive, but built better too
I think some commercial TVs might do what you want.
The cost of a TV is subsidized by advertisements and deals with different apps for prominent placement.
I'm so happy my old 1080p dumb TV is still chugging along. Acts as a third screen to my computer, has a minor spot with pressure damage making the colors darker there. Ultimately still far superior to all the smart junk and cost me only 270€ when it was new in 2014
The ice compartment of our fridge. It's always a fucking compressed block that needs manually smashing up. I fucking hate it so much.
Maybe you need to feed your fridge more fibre or have it drink more?
This is such a funny visual I've never heard of this happening
Everything with a built in lithium battery that isn't easy to swap. Phones, headphones, vapes, the weird gameboy thing I got offa aliexpress.
Microwaves are allowed one proud "ding" or three "beep" before they are on my hate-list.
My microwave has an un-interuptable 6 shrill beeps, that then repeat if the door is not opened in 10 seconds. There is no mute option, and it can be heard everywhere in the house. I have seriously considered just ripping the speaker out of it. It is, without a doubt, the appliance I hate most in my house.
Sounds like mine. Shrill beeps that can’t be cancelled, muted, or interrupted, although I think mine is 30 seconds before the reminder beeps.
My favorite part, though? It beeps when you open the door. Like, just as a sound effect. I, the user, your god and your master, am the one who opened your door. There is no status to notify me of, there is no input to confirm. It’s just useless racket that can’t be eliminated without hardware modification.
Perfect this is the type answer I was looking for!
I moved from the US to Europe and I keep joking that the largest QoL upgrade has been my unbelievably dumb microwave. It has a power knob, a timer knob that is spring wound, and when it hits 0 it physically hits a bell like an older toaster.
I fucking love it. It was like 20€
Open the door to your microwave and see if it has instructions for written on its body. Mine has a secondary menu where you can turn it off.
Microwaves are the penultimate Norman Object (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Design_of_Everyday_Things). They could have a standardized UI (cue up obligatory XKCD "Standards"). Instead, every manufacturer does it differently and usually in obscure, unintuitive fashion, often differently from the same manufacturer. Do you enter the time or power setting first? Oh wait, pressing a number launches it straight into running. That part that looks like a door handle is not how one actually opens the door; press the door button first. So. Much. Hate.
Yeah, I can see what you mean. Generally, they're similar-enough, at least in basic functionality, that I don't have an issue using someone else's microwave though. The advanced functionality can vary a lot.
What does kind of annoy me is that they're basically the one device --- VCRs used to be the stereotypical holders of this position --- that has a clock, but also is a device price-sensitive enough to both:
The result is that every microwave I see seems to wind up showing an unset clock.
You know, the worst part is, they intentionally make the interface shittier on the cheap ones. I'm very convinced of this.
And any remaining time on the cooking timer should automatically clear after say 10 minutes. Too many people that love leaving a few seconds remaining when retrieving their food. Then the remaining time stays there forever until someone comes along and clears it.
I have a similar short fuse for microwaves but for the +30 seconds button. If the microwave doesn't have this it should get tossed in the nearest dumpster. The +30 seconds button is the pinnacle of human achievement.
My partner took our microwave (an obnoxious thing I bought at a charity shop for $15) apart and wrapped the dinger-thing in a thick rubber band to muffle it, then put it all back together. It sounds so much more polite now, and he didn't have to cut any wires or otherwise fuss with the basic function.
I have to try that, thanks for the idea!
i muted my microwave, almost every microwave i've used has been mutable
My microwave thinks it's a regular oven and keeps beeping if you don't open the door. It doesn't seem to understand it has stopped on its own and can shut the fuck up now.
I want to open up my microwave and rip out whatever device makes the beep. Who has ever forgotten they have food in the microwave? I was hungry 3 minutes ago, I haven't forgotten, and it's not going to burn.
My parents used to have an old Amana Radarange. Built like a tank, wood paneling and chrome, warm incandescent lighting…I miss it. It didn’t have a beep or a bell or anything. Once it was done it would just…turn off.
My microwave's beeper only work in 10s increments. Meaning if I enter a cook time of 91 seconds, I get 91s at high power, 9s at low power, and a beep. If I listen for the power change, I have a 9 second window to open the door. It's perfect; no annoying beeping, and the timer reads 0:00 so it doesn't need to be cleared before reuse.
Printers. There is no excuse for (consumer) printers to be as shitty as they are.
There are reasons, but none of them are excuses: If patent hell wasn't a main obstacle put in place by the large printer manufacturers, I am sure open source hardware alternative would've forced industry improvements ages ago.
For me, it's specifically the HP printer my wife has. It has one of those subscription models where you pay per page (or per some unit, I forget) and you can't use it without an account and an internet connection.
I bought a Brother that offers but does not mandate a subscription and tried to get her to use it, but she is convinced the awful disgusting subscription model is easier.
Every time I see it it makes me a little sad and a little mad, but I had her put it on my network that has guest isolation, so it can't touch or spy on any of my other devices and only impacts her.
(My feelings about it aren't quite that strong in reality, but this is a thread about appliance beef. If her printer weren't isolated, I might actually feel pretty strongly about it.)
even enterprise grade printers are shitty
And there is a very good reason: Good Mechanical engineers are epxensive, so instead they hire crappy mechanical engineers
US patents only last for 20 years. Technically, nothing is stopping you from making a part-for-part copy of a good laser printer from 2005 and selling it the same way some companies do replacement toner.
It's just that making a cheap and reliable appliance is HARD if there are dozens of distinct parts that all have to move together. Heck, id expect a near-clone of a Cuisinart stand mixer before I'd expect a printer.
(And, even then, i doubt it'd be much cheaper than just buying one used.)
Edit: patents, not parents.
US parents only last for 20 years.
Jeez, I'm way past my warranty. Almost at 27 years.
Don’t worry, commercial printers are equally bad but in a different way.
Every vendor feels the need to inject their own special secret sauce into the drivers instead of making a tool that Just Works.
OS people need to make the drivers. Once.
The driver is only "I bake you a PDF, and you will eat it and you will like it"
Brother printers to the rescue. I think they are still untainted by crap bloatware and just do the thing.
Yeah, there is no true rage like trying to get a Xante to work properly. "YOU HAD NO PROBLEMS 2 HOURS AGO WHEN I FED YOU 2,000 #10 ENVELOPES! WHY WON'T YOU PRINT THIS LETTERHEAD!"
Or my Canon 8000 that has decided it doesn't want to print double sided on satin paper anymore. Or that is will staple a booklet, but only if i have the paper size down as 12x9 portrait instead of 9x12 landscape.
Have you tried replacing your HDMI cable? That might causing the Docking station issue
The screen sometimes goes black for a second or two randomly.
replacing your HDMI cable
I think you're onto something. I have two HP cube shaped docks on my closet now waiting on a return box. The third is holding, but only because there's also a reg key for windows that will lose compression on the HDMI and make it not resynch so often.
I still get the blinks, but they're daily instead of hourly. I can dig it out if it's valuable and the cables are good.
I'm also using a steetek/PWay/etc 2x2 HDMI KVM switcher downstream of that dock, so I can switch between two contract desktops for my k,v and m as the day cleaves to night.
I have had the problem with a variety of cables. I think its a software issue. Wiggeling the cable does not cause any issues. The screen never looses signal its just briefly black.
But I guess it can't hurt to try more cables.
Electric toothbrushes. They really are superior to regular old brushes, but they tend to break down after less than a year and aren't exactly cheap. Ironically, the last time mine broke I replaced it with the cheapest one and it's lasted longer than the ones before it. Go figure!
What do you do for them to break so soon?
I've had two electric toothbrushes in my life. The first one lasted for maybe 10 years. The breaking point was plastic degradation which occluded the internal electronics and destroyed de button to turn it on.
I think could have been repaired with the right materials. The repairability of the brand I buy is pretty good.
For anyone curious the brand is: ::: spoiler Tap for spoiler Oral b :::
The electric toothbrushes are nice but the head replacements are too expensive and I've not find a suitable offbrand replacement. So I end up boiling the toothbrush heads several times to extend their lifetime.
That spoiler thing? Fantastic. I chuckled, anyway.
So, I have never thought about this before but I would think the lifetime of a toothbrush head is based more on mechanical stress on the bristles and not bacterial growth.
Which I assume you try to address by boiling them. I remember studies made on boiling dishwashing sponges and unless I remember wrong boiling them regularly actually lead to more bacterial growth over time. Don't remember thr explanation and maybe funded by "big sponge".
That said I always use mine at least 2 months longer but am not boiling them.
Philips Sonicare. My first two developed the same problem: some connection inside came loose and the head would be loose and rattly. I tried opening them up and fixing them, but they were too bent out of shape. My third one ( a slightly different model) is going strong for some time now, so maybe I just got unlucky.
They break after a year? I've had mine for a decade now...
Judging from responses in here, I got unlucky.
Dishwashers
Modern ones have too many features that can break and brick the whole thing and the cheap ones never get good powerful pumps so they spray like shit. Just make a basic mechanical timed dishwasher with a super powerful pump and I will be all in.
What features do dishwashers have?
Literally every one I’ve used has had racks, two to three spiny water sprayers, a water intake, and a detergent basket.
I’m not disagreeing with the overall sentiment, the “modes” of a dishwasher are dumb as shit. No I don’t want reduced water flow, reduced temperatures, and a worse outcome requiring manual intervention.
But what is there to break? Suck water in, pump it out, spray it at dishes.
maybe there’s the occasional weird model, like Samsungs wall sprayer. But you can’t buy them any more.
This is what I want for the vast majority of appliances. It just needs to do the basic functions reliably and have a few adjustments that I can fiddle with.
That's the thing--the actual purpose of the appliances hasn't changed at all. Every "advancement" is typically proprietary tech made to help comply with energy and water/gas usage standards--or to add perceived value through some half-baked gimmicks. For instance, dishwashers use smaller pumps run for longer periods of time to perform the same amount of work a larger more powerful pump could handle (in many cases a single pump sufficed for a dishwasher--one rotational direction for wash, opposite direction for drain)... I'm totally on board with energy efficiency but the laughably cheap/shitty tech they use to those ends kinda blunt the effectiveness of the energy saving measures (since replacing parts--or more likely entire dishwashers when those pumps fail--is a less energy-saving process than having a stronger, more durable pump that draws an extra amp or 2)
I got an inkling that it just isn't profitable to make quality appliances anymore. Why make something that can last for decades when you can sell people a new appliance every 5-10 years with cheaper parts?
If it needs an app or internet connectivity - it can go fuck itself.
We've gone nearly a century of appliances that didn't need this shit. Apps or the Internet itself will not and never will, make things easier to do tasks than they already were easier to do before.
Aside from security and privacy issues, and the issue of dependence on cloud services, a lot of those go obsolete. Like, a fridge from 1950 is still gonna work pretty well today. Networking has changed a lot more quickly, and I suspect will continue to change quickly.
I'd be okay if they want to have some kind of simple, industry-standard interface that lets me expose it to a computer's control. Like, furnaces have that standard four-wire interface, and then you can just replace an (inexpensive) thermostat with a newer one as technology marches on, leave the furnace in place. But I don't want a lot of short-lived technology being baked into longer-lived appliances.
The Oatmeal is correct, the answer is printers
And by extension, scanners
Why scanners?
The big or small ones?
Commercial use scanners, size isn't necessarily the distinction
Devices designed to scan thousands of pages a minute have very finicky mechanics, but come in hand sized to office copier sized
Just that 1) Their mechanicals are hard to maintenance and have very little tolerance for fuckery and 2) the software is universally terrible and badly written for a device you are literally paying ten grand to own.
I encountered a gas stove that wouldn't work during a power outage. It had a valve that shut off the gas if electricity wasn't present. Way to intentionally sabotage one of your biggest advantages.
haha... yeah. We have a tankless gas water heater that requires an electrical connection. We live in hurricane country so going without power for days/weeks at a time is something we've lived through on several occasions. Having a hot shower during those times is the one thing my wife really appreciates. Fortunately, it's just a 110 connection and we can plug it into a generator or battery back up...
I'm guessing a tankless water heater involves some electronic controls. It probably could be designed to use low-voltage DC with a battery backup, but that would be fancy.
A gas stove should never need electricity for a burner to work if the user supplies another source of ignition like a match. This is surely a "safety feature" to prevent people from leaving the gas on when the electronic ignition is unavailable, but nobody with half a brain and a sense of smell would do that.
Not me, but my mother has beef with air conditioners. When I was little, I got sick (to the point of losing consciousness) due to a dirty AC in a hotel, so now she (maybe rightfully) assumes that a random given AC in a public place is filthy. We don't have one at home either - mostly because in this climate we'd only need it for a short time each year, but also because mom thinks it'd be easy to not take care of it properly and let enough filth accumulate.
Washing machines.
My washing machine 15 years ago would wash my clothes with...uhhhh...fucking water.
Now you can't buy washing machines that actually wash your clothes in water. They all spritz your clothes with a little water then jiggle around your damp clothes for a bit.
I don't live in a desert. I live in a place with access to plenty of water. I should be allowed to buy a washing machine that actually fills up with soapy water and washes my damn clothes.
I could buy a Speed Queen washer for $2,000 from a specialty store, but that's ridiculous. Why can't I just buy a washing machine that washes my clothes? They're ALL terrible now. All the washers in all the big box stores are just...bad.
Get your washers used from thrift stores, the older the better
Don't fall into the aesthetics trap, you don't need to swap your appliances out every five years for new
That still make toploaders, you know. Even HE ones. Front loading washers only serve to break your back from all the bending over.
Even the toploaders do the same thing now. They don't actually fill with water like they used to. I got frustrated with my modern toploader and that's how I wound up with the highest rated frontloader I could find. Both garbage.
The washing machine I bought in 1996 for $250 cleaned clothes better than any machine I've had in decades.
I just want to wash my clothes. In water.
My apartment gym has a Nordictrack treadmill that I hate nearly every aspect of. First of all, it requires you login to use any of the programs, which doesn't really work with 200 potential users. It has lost internet every single time I've used it and needs a restart, even though I use manual mode, the UI buttons are tiny and impossible to read while you're running, and don't respond correctly, and worst of all, there's no goddamn place to put your phone so you can watch Netflix.
You lost me at “login” on a treadmill lmao.
Treadmills are already pretty niche considering walking/running is free.
Why would you login to...a treadmill? Why would it need internet? So you can watch Netflix on the world slowest Public computer?
The trend of having touch screens on things is horrible enough. We definitely jumped the shark with technology long ago
and worst of all, there’s no goddamn place to put your phone so you can watch Netflix.
kagis
Hmm.
Yeah, I was thinking that it'd have some kind of bike-style handlebars or something, but nothing quite like that.
thinks
So, there are these...I don't know what they're called. "Gooseneck leg camera tripods"? They're intended to let you mount a camera anywhere, but if you feel strongly enough about this, I'm sure that one can get one of those and I'm sure that someone makes a quarter-inch-bolt --- which camera tripods use --- adapter to a smartphone holder. Can probably stuff a phone on pretty much anything with that.
goes looking
Okay, I don't know if anyone else makes this. I thought it was a whole class of devices, but maybe it's just one manufacturer. Basically, three gooseneck legs with grippy things down them, "Joby Gorillapods". Just wrap the gooseneck legs around whatever you want to mount the thing to.
https://www.amazon.com/gorillapod-original-tripod-point-cameras/dp/b0087fftt2
And once you have your quarter-inch tripod mount from that, there are a ton of different products that will let you mount a phone on a tripod bolt.
https://www.amazon.com/phone-tripod-mount/s?k=phone+tripod+mount
Can probably even get some sort of telescoping counterweighted-arm thing that'd let you jam it right in front of your eyeballs --- I have a mic boom like that on a tripod --- though I dunno if you want to deal with lugging something like that into a gym. And if the treadmill is vibrating at all, an arm would amplify the vibrations.
Holy crap, you put a lot of thought into my issue, lol thank you.
That's not quite what we have though, the display is like a modern tablet, and if, and only if you login can you watch the Pelaton-style videos, which are your only options for workout programs.
Coffee dispenser at work. It acts up like it's a printer. Replace left cartridge. Replace right cartridge. Cleaning required. Thorough cleaning required. Unknown leak. Heating water please wait. Unknown error. Fuck that, I'll piss in a cup myself if I don't get my coffee now.
Then there's also the towel roll thing in the toilets. I swear it's stuck for longer time than it's functioning. It'd be a full time job keeping that rolling throughout the day
Ugh. If you have even a little space on your desk you could get a "5-cup" (that's about 2 mugs) drip coffee machine and some unbleached paper filters for about $25. You could still make that refreshing stroll in the direction of the big machine, but with your fresh hot mugful already in your hand.
The fridge. If you close it too hard or too soft, it ends up not closed, but a fingers' width open.
I have a Samsung that I passionately despise. While it seems to cool fine, they designed an ice maker that either fails and leaks or jams itself with ice so it renders itself unusable.
If I paid a premium price, why can't I just get a modest functional ice maker?
There was a new fridge when I bought my house. Basic ass nothing fancy Frigidaire. No ice machine. I love it.
When I redo my kitchen this year, I'm buying a countertop ice making machine. I've heard too many horror stories about the ones in fridges.
Right now I'm still truckin with the ice trays. Not enough room in the kitchen currently
Just bought a child lock for my freezer because of this
IIRC a trick you can do is take a heat gun (or failing that a hair dryer) and warm up the magnet gasket border thing. Then close the door and leave it for a bit. Something about it better forming to the correct shape and making a better and more consistent seal.
Couldn't hurt!
This works on certain models, I have had success with Samsung and Whirlpool fridges but that's my only experience
That's not the issue. It looks like there is a problem with the hinges. And no, oiling didn't help.
Elevate the front a bit and gravity will do.
Smart idea. I know, because I tried it already. Didn't really work (a slight inclination didn't work, and I didn't want to tile it more).
Samsung Fridge (don't judge me, it came with the house).
I knew it was a "when" and not and "if" it would start having issues, and it finally showed its colors last month.
Front panel buttons either refused to work at all or would cycle through every option continuously and randomly.
Want water? Sorry, only crushed ice today. Want ice? Sorry, just water today. Oh, I actually did want water (starts dispensing). PSYCH! Now I'm going to shoot ice at you and splash water everywhere.
Was about to just toss the thing and get something dumber and more reliable, but decided to roll the dice with a replacement control board from ebay. Thankfully, that worked and I'm only out $80.
Are you sure someone wasn't pranking you? Cuz that's hilarious.
Lol, if only. It's not a "smart" fridge, but it does have a lot of, frankly, unnecessary electronics for what it does. Electronic components that, as any internet search for Samsung appliances will confirm, can and do go bad and are a pain to repair.
I used to really want an icemaker for convenience, because invariably I'd run into a mostly-empty ice cubes tray when I wanted ice cubes. Or I'd fill the ice cubes tray before it was empty, but then I'd partially-melt the ice cubes there and make them unusable until they refroze.
I didn't care that much about chilled water, because I can throw ice in it. But the ice cubes were a pain.
I even got a dedicated icemaker at one point, when I wanted softer ice to run a small shaved ice machine.
But...finally I figured out what I needed to do differently. Instead of freezing water in ice cube trays and taking the ice cubes directly out of the tray, just go stick a container in your freezer. Whenever you get ice cubes, if the ice cube tray is full and there's space, just dump it into the container and refill it. Now you have a big container of ice cubes that's always full. Just replicates what freezer-integrated ice cube makers do. Haven't had any issues since. Maybe this is obvious to some people, but it wasn't to me.
You can get little containers that will fit into the door shelves if you want to stick them there:
Oh, I absolutely love my ice maker. Didn't think I needed one until I replaced the fridge in my old house with one that had one. Now I can't live without one (except in the dead of winter when I clean it and just turn it off for ~2 months)
Dogs love chewing on ice cubes, especially in the summer. Between keeping bowls of ice cubes out for the dogs and me making margaritas and slushy cocktails all summer, I'd never be able to get by with ice trays.
Any device someone ask my help with figuring out. Its rarely the appliance that pisses me off and more the blatant learned helplessness and fundimental inability for fellow adults to rub two braincells together on figuring out a new thing or to troubleshoot a simple problem. A lifetime of being the techie fixer bitch slave constantly delegated the responsibility of figuring out everyones crap for them has left me jaded to the average persons mental capacity and basic logical application abilities.
My crappy electric Philips toothbrush from the internet of shit era. If you press the single button it has slightly wrong it goes into some Bluetooth pairing mode or whatever that you can't take it out of until it gives up 2 minutes later.
Printer
Only 2D since bambulab came
I really don't get all the shit microwaves and printers get. smart devices especially samsung and xiaomi phones are the worst, from privacy, ownership and control, and maintainability points
edit: fixed a typo. got a stroke when writing...
Sounds like you've never had to service a printer, their hate is justified
Same privacy, ownership, and control issues. Had HP remote shut down one of our office printers b/c it detected unauthorized ink. It wasn't unauthorized ink. They didn't care. And it is trivial to hack and duplicate any document that ever gets printed or put to glass
I've never had issues with microwaves
me neither, but they all universally could have a silent mode.
truth be told, I have a very old microwave with buttons and dials, so mayhaps I didn't get to experience the shit "modern" microwaves do
Anything made by Samsung.
Samsung SSDs are great and industry-leading in terms of reliability
A refurbished 2019 tablet I got from them that is supported by LineageOS has been giving me trouble on the flashing side of things, so I'll second this.
Appliance-wise at least.
I bought a cheap espresso maker off Amazon. It's so cheap that nothing can be adjusted, not the pressure, the drip, the heat, nothing. Every single shot I pull from that thing tastes like burnt ass. I even invested in some nice expensive espresso beans, and no luck. The cheap machine is in fact a piece of crap. I should have known better.
How much was it?
It's this one. I bought it on Amazon for the same price, $29.99: IMUSA Espresso Machine
My fridge's ice machine has never worked and instead just made my fridge piss itself on multiple occasions.
I've wrestled with mine a time or two. Tons of troubleshooting tips online for that exact issue, shouldn't be too hard to figure.
My twin tub washing machine. Fucking POS doesn't spin properly, so i just give up most of the time.
Waffle maker. Damnit I love waffles, but I can only clean out so many ruined waffles before I turn to pancakes.
Oh man! I was thinking waffle maker too!
Every consumer grade one had weird power issues, cooks unevenly, or would just be a pain to wash. I used to work at a breakfast place and those high end ones are incredible compared to the garbage that the average person has.
I finally found a really good one after years of junk. But I'm afraid if I praise it too much, it'll hear me and crap out. (The Dasher Mini waffle maker.)
Pancakes also work better than waffles with embedded blueberries or similar, if you're into that.
Both Costco and Sam's club make these ice cream makers in the wooden buckets. The motors have flimsy PET plastic gears. I get it. Strip out a replaceable gear rather than burn out the wires in a motor, easy easier repair, right? Wrong, I have a nearly identical ice cream maker that's 60 years old, the motor still works great. Metal gears, just gotta oil and maintain it regularly because it gets near salt water and gets splashed occasionally over the decades. The new ones strip out the damn gears after two batches of ice cream.
My solution ended up being to get an ice cream maker with built in refrigerant, but then I needed to get it recharged and that'll cost a much as the machine itself. Thanks a ton, breville. I'm saving up for a professional machine now.
Hm. Whoever made microwave ovens with an impossible to clean exposed resistance for broiling in the off chance you felt like making lasagna in a shoebox should be shot into space.
Everybody below pointing out that repeated beeping noises are unacceptable is also not wrong. It's gotten to the point where half a dozen different things may be beeping in my kitchen, nobody knows which one it is and everybody is in a reverse-race to ignore them to see if someone else goes to deal with it.
I once had a dishwasher that opened the door by itself using magnets instead of nagging you like a needy cat and I miss it every day.
Magnets are brilliant. I had to go really high up the range for mine to have a motor that opens the door at the end of each cycle. It has good energy ratings too but I'm not sure the extra cost will be worth it in its lifetime because the "eco" cycle is like the cheating on the homologation run of cars: it uses so little power and heat nothing gets clean enough if it's full.
I think mine got away with it because it was a small countertop model with a light plastic door. I don't know if you'd be able to do that for a large embedded family-sized one where you don't know how heavy the door is because it's attached to a cupboard cover. You probably do need a motor for that. If not to smoothly open the door at least to give it a little push with a push rod or something.
The point is we have the technology to push a flippy door open automatically, my dishwasher doesn't need to screech for attention every time it completes a task like a needy toddler.
I never know about "eco" cycles in dishwashers anyway. I mean, those things are efficient in the first place and if you use hot water to wash manually you may not be saving anything against a full cycle. I'm also surprised to hear people complain about them so much, presumably out of getting bad cleaning results. Mine is old and not that high end and I very rarely get a bad load out of it. If one thing was in a blind spot it's just a matter of leaving it in to go for another run.
I think maybe people don't know how to use a dishwasher? I'm torn about that one, because on the one hand well designed appliances should be impossible to use incorrectly, so it's technically the dishwasher's fault still, but at the same time dishwashers are awesome and having lived without one for a long time I'm never going back to that life. I would get one with an automatic door next time, though.
Gas stove. Literally playing with fire every time I need to light the front left burner. Usually I have to let enough gas come out to have the neighboring burner's igniter light it up. I keep my distance just in case.
Just get a long refillable butane lighter? Or one of those electric arc lighters? (Some of those have a long extension)
...and once it's 'fixed', it starts doing it again within weeks. Always the same one....
I have a camp stove that I got for really cheap because someone returned it because the igniter didn't work. The spark gap was too high, so all I had to do was poke the wire over a little, and it works perfectly now.
And it slowly poisons you!
For me, the "power burner" is so weak it can't bring a pot of water to boil or properly saute anything. Everything online says that it must be because the gas outlets are dirty, but they are spotless.
I have to "prime" one of my burners. I'll turn it on the power boil setting for a second or two to let gas out and then back to the ignite setting to spark it
It used to be printers but I switched to a Brother laser printer about five years ago and its been trouble free while having reasonable print costs. You can even force it to print on empty for a bit longer, although you shouldn't push any laser printer too far on empty as you can wreck them.
Toasters are my big gripe. Its been proven that they have massively reduced costs at the expense of longevity and toasting efficiency from what we had decades ago. I have an expensive toaster (from Sage), and I have still had to replace micro switches on the buttons. While it does a better job of even browning than a cheap toaster its still far from the level I expect.
I would buy one of those expensive Japanese toasters or a commercial toaster oven but I do not want that much counter top taken up by it. I would rather just cook my toast in a cast iron pan now, far better finish.
Smart phones, then closed driver GPUs and compute units, then probably printers.