All his apes, gone.

Putting $40K of "assets" into an app with ~200 reviews is real Apple enthusiast mindset

and by a developer named "LetalComRu", no less
- You’ve been got by the lethal communist Russian

Can't believe a currency made up entirely of scams would come to this.

Oh well. Too bad there's no giant ledger of transactions one might leverage a regulated body against to retrieve money from fraudulent transactions.

Tbf crypto has its uses like bypassing US sanctions and stuff. Juche Crypto Hackers are the only good people in the crypto community.
- DPRK of all places profiting from the ultimate ancap wet dream messiah technology will never not be funny.

Crypto bros: "You can be your own bank!"

Crypto bros trying to be their own bank:

I can't believe these losers still exist.

I don't know how anyone can put $40k into something where the ownership belongs to the person with the keys, someone stole your keys? It's theirs now and you can't go to court for it. On top of the risk of buying such a high-risk volatile 'asset', you have to worry about someone else yoinking it. Atleast in the regular stonk markets, you only have the former to worry about.

We talking about cars?
- i don't think his apes came with title or were registered with the dmv
And also you just give out that super important key to any app that asks

I can't say I've ever reached into my pocket and pulled out my fake wallet and used the fake debit card that drains all of my money across multiple credit unions by accident. Even bought a cheap wallet from some shady convention guy because it was Star Trek-themed. Zero reviews, no idea who made it. Moneycoin just seems to work like it should for the amount of energy that should cost.

That just sounds like the free market at work. Does he hate the free market?

We need an emote of an ape wearing the barrel on suspenders of destitution.

Who the fuck is putting cryptographic keys which can dispossess them of so much money on a phone to begin with?

Let them bitch about a malicious app dev stealing it, at least they still have their thumbs.

Who the fuck is putting cryptographic keys which can dispossess them of so much money on a phone to begin with?
The same sorts of people who are enthusiastically embracing Google's "Passkey" scam.
- how are passkeys a scam

You can't legally use the name Von Doom if you fall for this

"Victor Von Doom?"
"No, no, no. The other one, Seymore Von Doom."

if you have $40k in a software wallet you are a grade-A MORON. Spend $60 on a hardware wallet and this whole class of attacks goes away. I genuinely do feel bad for some of these people. Crypto is in a state right now where you can use it for the intended purpose (crime) if you're technical, and if you're non-technical it is very easy to be victimized by the people doing crime. The genius is that everybody thinks they're pulling one over on somebody else until they get cleaned out.

to fake wallets stealing fake money

Uncritical support for scumbags scamming fake money off other scumbags

There are real victims in this whole thing tho, mainly families of dumbshit idiots that pissed away their family's life savings on this stuff.
- Figure 1: My Brother
  I don't know how much he's lost to bitcoin scummery but it's in the thousands of not tens of thousands. He keeps having kids, those kids don't deserve their livelihoods getting fucked up. My brother is years behind on rent last I knew it isn't like he's a tech bro throwing pocket change into the meat grinder
Crypto scams are on the rise and contrary to popular belief they don’t only target old rich people. My dad was selling his food stamps to “invest” in Bitcoin because his “friend” was an “investor“ who was gonna teach him how to do it. He’s got no savings and he’s actively going into debt over these scams. He seems scarily addicted to it and I don’t pretend to understand why but at the very least it seems to be compulsive behavior and he’s ruined his life over it.
- It kind of makes sense why poor people would be attracted to gambling on shitcoins and similar get rich quick schemes. Like other forms of gambling it represents a tiny hope of a swift resolution to their hardships and often if comes with a (disingenuous) promise of playing fair with people who the legitimate economy is rigged against.
  It's a piss-poor way of coping with poverty though as it is all scams built on top of scams. A million people lose everything for each time an average Joe wins the big jackpot. The people behind these scams are preying on the desperate, the oppressed and the naive. At best they belong in a gulag.
  But until the day they get what's coming for them it is a rare ray of comedic sunshine when they scam eachother for once.

i say 50% chance the fake wallet is run by the same people as the "real" one

56%

NOT THE PIZZA ARTIFACTS

It’s incredibly funny that North Korea probably doesn’t even need to waste their zero days on these people. All they need is to trick a bunch of these dumbasses and make off with $50 million