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Lemmy Shitpost @lemmy.world

11mo ago

Shart, not fart

204 comments

Condom, never used.
- Used mine twice.
Musk still rich
My Arch broke.
- Use nixos
Back to work.
- Here's our winner.
  
  Back to office.
Reddit still going.
For sale: baby
- shoes never worn
  
  You forgot the comma after shoes but: bingo, that's the one!
- Boy or girl?
Aufenthaltserlaubnisverlängerungsantragsfrist verpasst.
- German is cheating!
In our bed?!
Alarm clock ringing
Liberty is kil
- no
Donald Trump exists
- It said a sad story, not a fucking nightmare. There might be kids reading this, don't scare them!
  
  It's a German fairytale. (I wish.)
Four more years.
Actually, it's GNU/Linux
- I love to say this sassily and where it doesn't fit just because "guh noo" sounds funny
- That's not sad.
  
  it's a glimpse into a sad life
I loved you
- "She preferred him."
  I don't think I like this game.
Good dog, stay.
- You fucker :(
  
  I made myself sad writing that.
"a sad story"
- And here we have the iq test high scorer.
Need baby shoes?
- That you, Hemmingway?
  
  Yes, it's an abridgement of the most mundane 6 word story:
  For sale: baby shoes, too small.
  
  then who was shoe?
  
  *Hemmmingway
- Stained baby shoes
The condom broke.
You tested positive.
endless economic growth
- Malignant profit-driven cancer.
deleted by creator
Trump's third term.
- This is more of a horror story
It wasn't milk
- Non-Milk Substance
We never learn
Squeezing cheeks. Urgent!
Tight couch, ouch!
- Humble brag Vance
  (cheating? Using his name automatically makes everything sad)
- Couch with a zipper,
  \ never've been deeper.
  Couch with a spring
  \ will hit you in the thing.
  intellectual thoughts with DJ Vasectomy or whatever some Amurican eyeliner boytoy is called
- Weird intersectional porn.
baby, no shoes
- no shoes, baby....
- Never shoes, baby
  
  baby, never worn
Technically not cannibalism!
She died first
- Now I'm sad
No more cheese
- No, more cheese!
Can't escape capitalism.
- Where would one go? Socialism?
Cat hates you.
- The worst fate.
Still no sleep
Brown bathroom walls.
- Thai chili curry.
  
  this burns twice
Out of coffee
- Captain initiates auto-selfdestruct.
burnt my toast
- I'm on a toast kick and that hit harder than it should. A couple of other toast themed ideas:
  Toast got cold Toast without butter
  
  Toast without butter is more in the vein of torture porn.
Toothpaste orange juice
War never changes
God creates man
The prompt said sad, not horror
Want to KMS?
No, better
Failed suicide attempt
Dead Harambe timeline
Mine is autobiographical. It is based on a horrific event that happened to me this morning:
Dog poo finger
- Oh no.
- This isn't 3 words, but I know players of Elden Ring would suggest that you:
  Try finger but hole
Can't count to three.
Cells dividing uncontrollably.
Out of tacos
Grandmother at twenty.
- Egads! This is quite terrible when you realize the implications.
You were late
Dick went flaccid.
- Been there too
Welcome to Jonestown
Bent my wookie
Remembering cringey memories.
- Every friggin day.
  
  Remember when you
Shaka, walls fell.
- This isn't sad.
- Hey don't threaten me with a good time!
Forced ad watching.
This is more of a horror story than a sad one.
Anyway...
"It was yours."
The cancer's back
Dick don't work
Mutually assured destruction
Want fart, afraid
I swallowed shampoo
- Probably gonna die
Friends, family... Gone!
- Diced, spiced... Grilled!
Your wife died.
- You're under arrest.
New motorcycle, tetraplegia.
Queer Moroccan. End.
My poop red
- Was it beets?
Crowdstrike strikes crowd
Pregnant at 55.
Is this Loss?
Third world war.
Hedgehog mom crushed.
Globe is warming.
Please God no
Alas, still depressed
Please come home
Still not dead
Chewing aluminum foil.
Please don’t forget
I wanna die.
I was sad.
Oh no, anyways...
Cooking fell over.
I wonder which of these answers in the thread give genuine locations on what 3 words...
- None that I tried.
Don't love him
Garbage bag ripped.
Your cat died
Crib for sale
- The kid outgrew it? I guess that's still kind of sad in a "Butterfly Kisses" kinda way.
  
  If it was 5 words, 'crib for sale; never used'
45 and 47
- Weird and Sad!
It's not yours
They were young
triumvirate
(It's a "three" word)
- joke needs explanation
So long, friend.
You're not hired
expired inner child
text without punctuation
Trafficked by mum
The house's gone
Water pipe burst.
Took the kids
(Just realised "I use Arch" cannot be written using only three words, weird)
In the melody of It's Raining Men it sounds awesome.
"Toilet water rising.
The streets will overflow."
Can't afford treatment.
Only getting older.
The only time in my entire history of dating where I got invited into her house, I took a shit in the toilet and clogged it so hard it overflowed when I flushed.
undeleted by administrator
Major data loss
Dog leaves room.
- Cat leaves lap.
Tell my wife...
Gone and forgotten
Baby shoes, sold
Everyone wore black.
- That's just a metal concert though
There was a really cool story, but it had to be cut down so it could fit in the 3 word limit.
...destroyed...house...lost...
O, no right
Tried but died.
Blinds raise more
I am sad.
mounting rootfs failed
a sad story using only 3 Words
still they remain.
Dropped my ice-cream
Fist pump, bro
No wheels, cardboard
Weird men rule.
Hi hi
We're your plumber girls (uh huh)
And have we got news for you (you better listen!)
Get ready all you plumbing girls
And leave that poop knife at home!
Toilet water rising
Confidence getting low (how low girl?)
According to my estimate
This shit's gonna overflow
- https://youtu.be/4sew7y_RfmY
Not my leg.
Baby adoption: cancelled
Mustache jizz giveaway
Toilet rise watering.

204 comments