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  • I once charged Xibit $300 for an Oz of weed. Also smoked a joint with George Clinton in front of the same club. Also one time Bunny Wailer gave me donuts back stage at reggae on the river when I was like 13.

  • I came really close to needing to fight an alpaca once.

    • Lucky it deescelated because I hear they alpaca punch

      • I was not at all happy about it but I had an idiot dog to safe who decided to leap an electric fence and herd some sheep. We didn't know there was a sheep farm near the beach we had him off leash on, nor did we think a husky would want to chase so.e sheep to the extent this guy did. As I looked up later a lot of local sheep guys keep an alpaca around to guard against coyotes. So I had to climb an electric fence, chase a husky who was chasing s herd of sheep while and alpaca was trying to run interference. It was also lime 32c out and no shade cause it was grazing ground right next to a beach. I managed to tackle this dog and throw him over thr fence before anything happened. I then climbed back over it after full sprinting in I could be killed by a fuckimg alpaca over this mode and basically died on the beach. My gf at the time and her mom who did fucking nothing to help at the time gave me water and drove us home and I barfed a lot.

  • A north korean bloke struck up a conversation with me next to a news stand. I didn't know what to talk about so I showed him the Pokemon magazine I'd just bought

  • I got free backstage tickets to a very popular (like A list popular) sold out concert because the day of a few hours before, I randomly met the artists son at an antiwar political organizing event and I told him how I was planning on trying to sneak in afterwards (this was before I knew he was their son)

  • One of my family members used an bazooka against an important governmental building of a foreign country (during peacetime) because hurr durr communism bad. (I'm sorry I probably can't give any more details so this probably sounds completely ridiculous)

  • I've simultaneously met more wallstreet oligarchs, high ranking members of JSOC and the intelligence community and high ranking government officials of the PRC than any normal person should in a life completely coincidentally by being in the right place at the right time - excluding one person who I actually heard about ahead of time and actively worked to meet. Like yeah this sounds super fucking suspect but every time it happened I was literally minding my own business going about life when coincidentally people that can shake the world to its foundations just cross paths with me and I go slightly wide-eyed recognizing them and immediately say "Oh hi."

    • one of the wall street oligarch meetings wasn't me meeting them and more like I was minding my own business enjoying a most sumptuous breakfast and was rudely dragged into meeting that cranky old fucking boomer who was arguing with some dipshit techbro over him throwing techno-buzzwords that few over the boomer's head on why the boomer should invest into his start up venture capitalist pump-and-dump scheme which lead to a multi-hour lecture on how the boomer oligarch takes inspiration from the greatest managers of history such as napoleon, alexander the great, and sun tzu, among other absolutely inane shit that made me want to lobotomize myself with my fork because the new generation doesn't know how to manage their assets anymore. Sitting through that really made me really question whether or not the world would be better or worse off with the oligarch boomers continuing their iron-fisted rule or the techbros supplanting them as the oligarchs that rule as the high priests of capitalism.

      • I'm so sorry you had to meet all these people. You work in finance right? I thankfully am able to avoid these types even though I'm also very close but it seems in finance you kind of have to socialize/network as part of the job

  • Everyone in this thread: I've once met this famous person or I was once on TV.

    Me: My mom once ran over my foot with her car, but somehow it didn't break every single bone in my foot.

  • There's like a 50/50 I won't be able to use one of my hands in 20 years (doctor says), but it looks fine and acts fine right now, and I don't have a degenerative disease.

  • Oh shit I almost forgot. I went to a party thrown by a rich crypto guy in Silicon Valley and saw a fuck load of famous tech execs there

    The interesting part is that Sergey Brin (Google cofounder) had two teenage looking girls around his arms for most of it, which definitely checks out with his track record of harassing women and his employees and cheating on his wife

    I guess I'm also friends with an ex-mainstream pornstar (not A list, but millions of views per vid online) who also tried to have sex with me a few times but idk if that one sounds unbelievable

61 comments