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askchapo @hexbear.net Guamer [she/her] @hexbear.net 4 days ago

If you could bury something and the next day there would be a tree that grew that thing, what would you bury? (Besides money)

93 comments

Comrades
- Finally a good argument for burying Lenin.
A tree
- Good news, you're describing a tree. You can do this
- goooood answer
  
  i was gonna say cannabis
  
  maybe lithium?
  
  Like pure metallic lithium? That would be extremely flammable.
- Burying a tree would be a real pain though.
  
  Unless it was like a bonsai
  
  The prompt was "If you could"
communism
maybe lemons. i like lemons.
- Too bad lemon trees arent real 😔
  
  its sad. but to be fair, that would be too crazy. like imagine you could just wallk up to a tree and then have a lemon. that'd be crazy.
- Hopefully no one would steal them
- How about your cousin? Cause I may have the town for you.
I want to see what kind of video games grow on trees.
- The games get more complex as the tree does. It grows one game at a time and the bigger the "better" the game gets. So it starts making like Pong but then progresses through NES then SNES titles. Then after a while its growing with modern AAA titles.
  
  So you're saying I need to prune it before it starts making COD.
- All Animal Crossing, Harvest Moon and Stardew Valley
some dignity >.>
- dignitree
Houses

I’d give them away for free and crash the housing market hard
Enriched uranium
gommunism
Olives probably
- Boy do I have a tree for you
- you, reading about olive trees HOLYYYYY SHITTTTT
Friends
My wife: "Gold... Oil..."
- For an oil tree, I'm imagining it would be it's sap.
- Tell her it needs to be something carbon negative.
  
  Methane
Bourgeoisie. I mean it's impossible for tree to grow humans but this shouldn't make us stop with the first part of that experiment.
World champion winning thoroughbred racehorse semen
- So how do you get the semen out of the tree?
  
  Good question. Maybe it can come in little packets.
Burgers!
What if i bury myself alive until the tree sprouts? Get some breathing tubes and such.
- Clone tree
  
  Though as the tree's "seed", you would have to remain there forever to keep giving it life
  
  Bet, alternate version of me are just as valid as the OG. I'll carry on to start the Zoive(Zoift hive)
It'd go to Washington DC and bury one of those small suitcase nukes.
solar panels
- Larry Niven sunflowers incoming, careful!
yards of linen
Apples.

This way I have fresh apples tomorrow and I don't have to go to the store!
Gun tree
Communism
Do we need to stick to the laws of physics, or can we get magic involved?
- You would need to bury an already magical item.
  
  I was thinking more like: Does a tree that grows real-world precious metals need a real and extensive root system that gathers those precious metals from underground ore veins? Or can it make those real-world precious metals magically from scratch?
World Peace
REAL ANIMATE TERRACOTTA SOLDIERS SO I CAN HAVE AN ARMY TO OVERTHROW THIS ROTTEN EMPIRE

NOTE TO FEDS: THIS IS A JOKE AND IS ENTIRELY FICTIONAL THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS ANIMATE TERRACOTTA SOLDIERS
A giant panda. A plant sprouting large mammals would be a scientific marvel.
- wtf did the panda do to you?
  
  Rereading this, I guess you're right, it would have to be a living one.
  
  The whim came to me as an idea to save the species. I guess it would be useless in and of itself without plenty of habitat.
Turkish Delight
genitals
- CW cartoon of what you asked for
  
  Reject modernity, retvrn to penis tree
  
  Chujowe drzewo :(
is the speedy tree growth a property of the soil, location, or of whatever we plant in there? if i plant a fruit do i get a tree that gives out instant growth seed versions of that fruit?

because if so i'd like to patent 1 day growth date seeds.
diamonds, so i can disprove the labor theory of value like a boss, epic style
- That wouldn't disprove LTV though.
  
  be respectful now, there could be libertarians among us
estradiol
An amalgam of precious metals. Gold, platinum, palladium, tec.
Wood!
Grenades
A Nintendo Switch
Hot chip
Salted and roasted sunflower seeds. I have an apple tree, and it is the bomb!
whatever the most expensive, in-demand medicine is i guess

insulin maybe? idk but i'd be passing that shit out like hotcakes
- Insulin is actually pretty cheap to produce, people are just getting scalped by pharma corpos.
  
  yeah i vaguely recalled as much but i am not smart so i couldn't think of anything better
  
  The issue is that it's cheap in materials but requires a colossal initial investment, so only a few companies can produce it
pecorino romano chesse wheels
USB cables probably
So it doesn't hurt it right? I really wanna kitten tree
Lithography machines
dirt
The knowledge of good and evil
The universe
cobalt
Probably the Nintendo Switch 2 because demand is about to skyrocket and that's pure profit BAYBEE!
Earbuds, those things break all the time
a bottle of sparkling cider
A tree

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