how bad is it if someone just never upvotes ever again
this is an experiment i have done for the last week or something. no upbear counters, no upbear buttons, just sorted by new or new comments. it has been very nice, but i know that inevitably somebody is gonna feel like i'm being snooty to them for not upbearing them. its very nice that people are taking time out of their day to engage with me on the net, and i always feel that when i get the notifications, but i think some of them are gonna take it personally if i keep this crap up
the question: how important is this little courtesy to you???? does it bother you if you dont get upvotes when you are talking to people?
thank you for your replies but know that for responding to this survey i cannot offer any remuneration. you are encouraged to not upbear this post or even report it if you see any flagrant rulebreaks
just for context i have done this experiment to see if it feels better and if i feel less obsessive about innernet points/see if i make better comments without the motivation (turns out this one is a no)
I always upvote everyone I respond to and everyone who responds to me, even if I'm in an argument. To me it's just common courtesy. I get offended if I'm arguing with someone and they don't upvote me - it's what turns the argument from a friendly exchange of opinions to one of aggression. I usually remove my upvotes from their comments at that time.
And of course I don't upvote wreckers when responding to them.
edit: if I'm in an argument and I'm trying to be aggressive, that's when I'll actually not upvote a post I'm responding to - but I'm usually not trying to be aggressive, especially not on this site
this is the kind of thing that makes me question whether or not i am in the right spot. like i personally feel like its a sort of system that causes a lot of people (like me) to get too caught up with how many points they get, but then i don't want to abstain from that system and make people feel bad. feels like a lose/lose - obviously that's just my perspective and not everyone feels that way
the way I see it - "upvotes," "likes" etc are just a digital form of the verbal validation someone would get irl. Like if you told a joke, people would laugh, smile. If you made a good point, people would nod, say "uh huh" or something. A thread would look pretty weird if someone wrote something funny and there were like 30 people underneath going "lol" and "haha" so that validation is replaced with likes and upvotes.
People absolutely get too caught up with how many internet points they get, but idk I don't see that obsession as fundamentally different from being obsessed with social acceptance in general. We all have a desire to fit in and idk, I think it has the same root causes as someone who gets too caught up with trying to be funny irl or something. It's something we all have to work on, whether online or irl.
i know that inevitably somebody is gonna feel like i'm being snooty to them for not upbearing them
how can someone even know that?
and what is people's expectations? that every single friend of their upvote every single little thing they do on the internet? is this whole website so insecure?
are people somehow tracking each individual other user's responses, tallying this, and judging the other users by it?
doesn't everyone else know that sometimes they will say things that other people are indifferent to, or that they even disagree with? even those people you generally like? isn't that a known fact of social interactions?
I think if you don't want to upvote, you shouldn't. You do you.
Personally I like the voting system. It serves as an approximation of the collective opinion. On niche forums especially, I think the collective opinion is worthy of respect even when I disagree.
how important is this little courtesy to you???? does it bother you if you dont get upvotes when you are talking to people?
well tbh I don't think it's a courtesy, I think it is a gauge of the collective opinions. Sometimes if I make a comment or post I think will be contentious I look later to see "how it did". Not cause I want to know how kindly the readers were feeling, but to know if I understand the opinions of the forum correctly.
One thing I have learned, from various different forums, subreddits, and lemmies, is that loooong rambling comments like this one consistently "do" very badly because they are too boring to read. But yet I make them anyway.
well tbh I don't think it's a courtesy, I think it is a gauge of the collective opinions. Sometimes if I make a comment or post I think will be contentious I look later to see "how it did". Not cause I want to know how kindly the readers were feeling, but to know if I understand the opinions of the forum correctly.
I do genuinely like this facet of the feature. it becomes weird particularly when it becomes a comment chain or conversation between two people, but I do understand and agree with the value. The funny thing is that while I might be asking about this right now, when I first showed up to Hexbear it was my barometer to make sure I wasn't completely wasting my time/irritating everyone
e: fwiw i enjoyed your comment and read the whole thing
wow its so hard to imagine not looking at notifications. in my experience its one of the most fun parts but i bet if people are on apps or something they might form a different perception with them
I upbeanis most posts I read and any comment that I engage with, or that replies to one of my comments or posts. I like to know that at least someone is reading what I'm writing over here. If I write a comment or post and it stays at 1 upbeanis, what's the point? Is anyone even reading it?
Unironically its gonna hurt the site because now upvoting is gonna be used as a personal endorsement by anybody you're arguing with so people will upvote less stuff and continue the declining engagement on the site.
Why should engagement be the goal? As long as people who wanna interact can interact with other folks on here it shouldn't be a problem. Social media shouldn't be designed to maximize engagement, that's how it becomes addictive.
in terms of engagement, comments are supposed to weigh heavier than upvotes. i know thats an engagement/algorithm topic rather than 'philosophical' engagement but
This is the place I'm going to admit my weird habit:
Assuming everyone seems to be talking in good faith, I find it sad when a reply has more upbears than the original comment. It feels sad to me that someone has such a ringing lack of endorsement, where everyone has to have read their comment, and someone elses, and vote the elses. So I'll like, selectively upbear or un-upbear certain comments to make things more equal. This even includes my own comments, I remove the default self-upbear sometimes.
kbin seems to have died, but it was controversial because it didn't have the feature of the user automatic upvoting every post/comment the way lemmy does. the user was however permitted to manually upvote own posts and comments. but also on kbin all votes were public so everyone could see they had done it and there was something of a norm forming around that being a bit embarrassing.
except for the part about all votes being public, I kind of liked it. You can upvote yourself but you shouldn't; so funny.
it was hypothesized that because of the lack of initial default upvote, kbin users would be at a systematic loss. which I also liked and thought was funny.
but kbin is dead now so I guess it didn't work out.
god damn what a great system. RIB (rest in bitches) kbin.
it was hypothesized that because of the lack of initial default upvote, kbin users would be at a systematic loss.
this is one of the weirdest parts of federation. some of the systems built in to lemmy incentivize engagement addiction, but the Superior version kicks all the fun stuff to the bottom
i have heard people refer to hexbear as being a high-engagement, discourse default, comment-based instance, and that by comparison some of these other sites with much larger user bases have relatively few comments
i mean to upbear anything i like, find funny, agree with, etc. i often forget, ADHD and all
i do always upbear if i reply/respond to a comment, engage with a post, or anyone that replies to me unless they are a lib or chud
wish we had little stickers or simplified one-click response emojis or something instead. something less reddit-brained. maybe a little "x usename liked this!"
the last thread i saw this discussed in, someone mentioned that there was a feature that got added (maybe a phpbbhack) that added "soandso found this helpful", "soandso, beanis, and person found this helpful" and honestly at the time i hated it but now i understand the value a bit better
I don't like upvotes at all. When I last discussed it I got replies saying 'oh your instance allows you to hide upvotes' but 1) that's not my point and 2) it doesn't work (you can hover over the post to see the counts). Yes i welcome removing downvotes is critical in creating this sites culture but I invite the mods to go further and consider the postive, pro-social benefits of removing votes entirely
we need to start a club or something. maybe we should all manually add signatures to every single one of our posts. it might bring the wrong energy but maybe the wrong energy is exactly what people need
Why upbear when you can comment something nice? Join the No Vote club today
The amount of upbears (points) on your comment and Hexbear account has increased by one.
Why did you do this?
There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of positive or neutral karma. These include, but are not limited to:
Rudeness towards Redditors,
Spreading Marxist Theory,
Sarcasm not correctly flagged with a /s.
Am I in good standing with the Hexbear?
No - not yet. But you should continue making comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to retract my upbear, which may put your commenting and posting privileges in jeopardy.
I don't believe my comment deserved an upbear. Can you un-upbear it?
Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo an upbear. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a private message explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to Hexbear PMs within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of upbear appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception.
How can I make this happen again in the future?
Accept the upbear and move on. But learn from this: your behavior will be tolerated on hexbear.net. I will continue to issue upbears until you fuck up your posting. Remember: Hexbear is privilege, not a right.
I don't think it's bad. I have scores turned off because internet points just mess with me no matter what, and I kind of just dislike the entire concept at this point.
I base my entire sense of self-worth on the number of upvotes I get. Each morning I wake up and check yesterday's comments for upvotes to determine how much I need to cry in the shower.
I pretty much don't upbear or react to things. Most of my upbears are from clicking a button randomly to switch screens or accidentally resting my thumb on my phone.