Remember when the body washes contained literal micro plastics and were advertised as such?

microbeads!

That's really a shower thought...

A shower memory.

I thought they were using natural materials like ground coffee. Did some of them actually use plastic beads?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microbead
- I remember my sister telling me to use facial wash for acne with stuff like that in it. Thank fuck I've ADHD and never got a routine going with using it.
Some used pumice (I think Lava Soap or something along those lines) but it's more harsh than the plastic microbeads OP is referring to.
- I know St Ives uses crushed up walnut shells and apricot pits for theirs.
Yes, most used micro plastics for a long time, charcoal and coffee grounds are a fairly new advent in the last few years.
LUSH uses almond hulls in their products, so they are fully compostable. If you want something with a scrub, check them out for sure.
I’ve been buying face scrubs that have ground apricot pits in them. They are great. Just the right amount of abrasiveness and totally biodegradeable. These have been around for decades. The microbead shit was cheaper, I suppose. And maybe some squeamish people don’t like the brown grainy appearance of apricot pit scrub.

There's still shampoo with silicone as an ingedient, so your hair feels silky smooth. Because it wraps every single hair in invisible plastic.

Most conditioner is silicone-based. For anyone curious, if your conditioner lists dimethicone or any other -cone in the ingredients list, that's silicone.
- I have to admit, I saw your comment and was like "no fucking way".
  So I looked it up and... Yes fucking way. That's crazy!
- Is this the part that I find so objectionable to my senses when I’m touching it and using it in my hair? I hate the feeling of conditioner in my hands when I’m applying it.
Silicone is a far cry from plastics though. It’s a non carbon based oil. Plastics are polymers. There’s no commonality whatsoever.
- Silicone is made from sand, and hydrocarbons that come from oil or natural gas. Silicone is still a petroleum product.
  Don't confuse silicone for silicon. The names are similar, but one is basically rubber and the other is a crystal.
- Silicones are also polymers. Polymer means many-chains. Any repeated chemical unit is a polymer. Another example is PLA (poly lactic acid) is a non-petroleum based polymer. It's literally lactic acid.
  Are you trying to say that silicone isn't a petroleum based product?

I totally thought those were some kind of thing that would dissolve at first. I thankfully just didn't like those body washes anyway, but I was super disappointed when I found out those 'exfoliating beads' were just micro plastic. What evil fuck ok'd that decision?

It didn't have to be an evil fuck. Could have just been an ignorant fuck. "Do not attribute to malice what can easily be explained by ignorance".
Disregarding what we know now: it would be great to have an exfoliating bead that didn't break down or decay. I used it, sometimes, and it worked well for its intended purpose. We just didn't think anything about it, and they probably didn't, either.
- Hanlon's Razor should be required curriculum in all schools
It would have been a chemist right? At some point some chemist who knew they don't dissolve pitched the idea that their company could use microplastics.
A mini wikileaks that acted as a repository for internal emails would be so much fun. Something like https://www.climatefiles.com/collection-index/
Somebody somewhere figured out that you can sell grit to women if you refer to it as "exfoliant." Because that terrycloth towel you're going to dry yourself with isn't nearly rough enough to remove dead skin cells, right girls?
Meanwhile washing a man is mostly a matter of degreasing which is why a man's shower has one bottle of mostly sodium laurel sulfate in it labeled "everything wash."

My dentist recommended me a stupid toothpaste called "Pearls & Dents" which also contained literal plastic balls. Such a stupid and corrupt person. I believe Dentists are paid by Elmex in germany too.

They are. I went through pre-med for my postmortem science degree and am still close with my doctor/dentist friends from the program. They get kickbacks from companies if they successfully sell a brand. Sometimes the results are great, like Wakix (my Narcolepsy medication that actually helped), but other times, it's a garbage product. If the medical professional has a fancy pamphlet or offers you coupons for the product, that means the company is paying them.
- I was once offered a job peddling prescription drugs to GPs on behalf of several manufacturers. These marketing companies are mass-interviewing, you know. And so, there's never a shortage of these hawkers.
  Ever wondered why you have to sit in the waiting room for a full hour when your appointment is scheduled at 8? Your doctor is talking to salespeople.
- Do you have you pay for medication in Germany?
Genuine question, what's the purpose of putting plastic balls in a tooth paste? Texture or something?
- Abrasives. Same thing as charcoal. Tiny hard particles help remove gunk when you brush them against something.
- Most toothpaste contains abrasives. Look in the ingredients list on your toothpaste, it's likely silica.
  The point of using plastic is because the petrochemical industry makes money if they use plastics.
- Something with cleaning. Bullshit.
I asked my doc if my toothpaste is good. He said the ingredients look sane for tooth care.
::: spoiler spoiler
If someone is in Germany and cares about the brand:
Dental Delight.
My choice of flavor: Polar Punch :::
That docs can be a bit skewed towards a sponsoring brand is not unlikely though.
I mean every lrofession is suscepticle to it...

Damn is that what they were? I thought it was sand

Sand is too expensive

It is as Benjamin Franklin once said: "Life is microplastics, it's micro-fantastic."

"Now with the cleansing power of asbestos!"

I remember ads claiming it was cutting edge nanotechnology! And I thought oh cool, you mean like there are tiny robots running around in the shampoo? But no, it was microplastics.

I thought Axe Snakepeel was so cool. I thought it had titanium beads. Turns out, the beads were plastic and titanium (dioxide) was normal soap stuff (though I think just to artificially make the soap opaque). It disappeared before I was aware

Titanium dioxide is often used as a white pigment
- I work in the plastics industry. TiO2 is definitely our pigment of choice for white colorant

Hold up- when I read micro infiltrated blood, Intuit breast milk, glaciers etc, I pictured microscopic. You're telling me plastic materials large enough to see and feel are what they're referring to?

As I understand it, there's a range of sizes that are problematic, from small to micro to nano and beyond.
The problem is the more plastic we make, and the smaller it starts, the easier it is for it to get worn down into smaller and smaller bits that become more problematic for us.
One of the problems with all the macro plastics in the ocean is that that as they get churned up and baked in the UV from the sun, smaller and smaller bits break off and become part of the... Everything.
Micro plastics are so prevalent that they can't even do proper studies on how harmful it might be to us, because there are no control groups that have no plastics inside their bodies to compare against. Even babies in the womb have plastic in them. You have plastic in you right now, almost a 100% guarantee.
There's probably more to it than that even, but that's my understanding of it.
- Ahhh.. that whole, plastic seeps into your possessions thing... That might be the ocean, not the hot soup in your nalgene. Man.. there is a lot of macro in the ocean to break down. I've been following environmental news and science for almost 35 years and I keep learning new and exciting shitty things for the first time. It only gets worse!

As opposed to metaphorical microplastics?

Language evolves over time. Prescriptivism always fails.
Figurative micro plastics.
Micro surgeries

There is a bar soap currently for sale that does that

Well, ain't that old fashioned - bar soap! I can remember my Mother and Grandmother making soap every fall at home. Stuff could take the hide right off you some years, but you got clean for sure. It also made a fine laundry soap too. I can remember watching my Mother shave slivers of it off into the washing machine when I was little.
But thanks for reminding me, I need to put bar soap on my shopping list. I need to also order another puck of shaving soap too.
- Is bar soap really considered old fashioned now?
- I use bars of goat soap. It makes your skin feel really soft. I buy it at my local antique mall.
- Sounds like you need to make some soap this fall.
Is it advertised with plastic in it or just an abrasive? I have a scrub that contains walnut shell to exfoliate the skin
- Not sure. Doesnt have a rough texture so may be plastic microbeads. Havent seen any upclose as theyre colormatched to the bar which reinforces the plastics theory

Its not even a decade ago. Its closer to 5 years ago that they got banned

Exfoliating plastics!

A few years ago there was a brand in some shops with literal pearls of something suspended in the gel.
Not very unlikely they were just plastic pearls.