Yea I found out from my server at a restaurant that my cousin killed himself. She was his friend. It had been months since it happened and no one told me that he passed, even though I saw my family recently. Fucked up.
there is a phenomenon known as “suicide contagion” or “copycat suicide,” where exposure to suicide can lead to an increase in suicide rates.
Typically this occurs with media, like when a celebrity is in the news for suicide, but I believe there is still a relationship in just talking about it, especially in younger folks.
Probably didn’t know how to tell you she might die. They really don’t give you much advice on how to talk to people… in my case it was literally a grade school style fill-in-the-blanks in-case-surgery-leaves-you-a-vegetable tell them we can have your organs work-book.
But also likely a bit of narcissism… I’m sorry. Nobody she find out that way.
I found out my mother had HEART SURGERY two weeks ago when my sister sent a weird "she's out of the operating room and I recovery" message, I thought she meant her mother in law and was informing my parents on the family group text, since my parents know her a lot better than I do.
Nope. It was my own mother, and nobody told me about a surgery they all knew about 6 months in advance.
When my grandfather died, nobody in my family had been told he was having anything done until that morning, so we scrambled to visit him. There wasn't any huge problem, but any time someone in their 70s is in the hospital, especially for a surgery, it's cause for concern.
And its a good thing we did because he bled out during the surgery, which was supposed to be a minor surgery in his lower abdomen.
idk i'm this way. Although that's mostly because i hate socializing and interacting. You probably won't know when i die until 4 months pass and you realize on a whim that you havent seen me in an awfully long time, only to find that i don't respond.
Such is life i suppose. (for some people at least)
My Mother recently went on a trip. During fathers day I'm talking to my Grandma and she asks if I was told that my mom fell on the escalator and hurt her hip. Not bad, just sore. I say no and my grandma seems really surprised that I was not told this. Later that same day I'm talking to my mom and she asks if anyone told me that my grandma broke a rib last week. No, grandma never mentioned this! Apparently I can only get my family's health updates second hand.
Because if there's anywhere you should share your private medical issues, it's on a for-profit website that tracks and sells literally everything you do online, and won't even show it to the people who you wanted to share it with.
Facebook Nowadays: "Oh, you want to see what your friends are up to? Too fucking bad. Here's a thousand pictures of Sylvester Stalone, and 900 ads."
My sister, didn't visit for a few years then told family she was going to visit for Christmas, okay. She arrives with unexpected company, her boyfriend, she says. Family never heard about him. 1 month later she visits and goes, oh yeah, "I am expecting in 5 months". 2 months later she goes, oh yeah "I got married last week".
My family communicated exclusively through a Facebook Messenger group chat and my sister keeps posting pictures of her daughter so all the important stuff goes way up in the history. I don't even have Facebook Messenger on my phone. I rarely if ever check the messages because I've removed Facebook from my life.
I know people that still send me messages on Facebook even though I've told them that I don't have the messenger, will never have the messenger, don't have the Facebook app, will never have the app, and can't check the website messages from my mobile browser. I visit Facebook on a desktop like once every 3 months. So, I have no clue why they still send me messages there. Have fun waiting for a response, my guy.
I just hate how they guilt trip me afterwards for not being at a family event because I missed a message that was sent two weeks ago sandwiched between 40 pictures of my niece.
I came home one weekend while in college and my mom's car was gone, but there was an unfamilure minivan. When I got inside, did the normal pleasantries, and I asked about the minivan, my mom dropped:
Oh, I hit some black ice on the way to work last week and spun and got t-boned. I woke up to the paramedics shaking me from behind. They had to some in through the hatchback because the car was laying on the driver's door. Anyway, we're waiting for insurance before we start looking for another car and they gave me a rental in the mean time.
I had talked to her on the phone in between the accident and my visit and she hadn't mentioned it. She broke 2 ribs and had a hairline fractured of her foot - the other driver had a mild concussion. So all-in-all it could have been infinitely worse, but still.
My parents do this all the time. "Yeah, we just came back from the funeral, it was beautiful." So apparently my aunt died. "Oh yeah, we thought it wouldn't interest you".
At the same time, they call me to tell me "So, Henry had to go to the hospital, he's in a bad state. We though you'd want to know." So apparently someone from their neighborhood who I never met or heard of has some bad health.
BTW, this could be an intentional thing to try and convince you to move back to the local area.
There's that one famous Reddit story recently about someone who's family went as far as not telling her about a major funeral and then gaslighting her when she realized and didn't drop the issue.
Here's one for you. I would absolutely swear I talked to my second cousin Wilfred at my grandmothers funeral, for ten or twenty minutes, got all caught up. A year later, mom mentions something in passing about Wilfreds' funeral. I ask what happened, and that's when I learn Wilfred died 5 years before of pneumonia, and was buried in that sane cemetery. I has been living on the coast and no one told me.