You're being sold as an action figure. What 2 accessories do you come with?

Anxiety and depression

Lol beat me to it

A pillow and my phone

Inaction figure.
- Brilliant! I'll have to make one now!

Can of beer and a bowling ball

Not a toilet?
- Obviously you’re not a golfer.
A can of beer and a beer kozie. If that counts as one, gimme another can of beer.

Ibuprofen and an energy drink.

What makes the green grass grow?

Weed vape and this bad boy

I legit want to use that for home defense.
So this propels dildos into your orifice(s) with explosive charges? Do people enjoy that?
- It's the only way Lady Supermans can get off
- Do you not?

A hat and buyer's remorse.

the accessories don’t matter, they’ll change every 3 months. the figure will not.

Should come with an unopened box of prescribed ritalin, maybe?
- Maybe, but it’s unwilling to take a piss test to get them.
So, no accessories included? There could be separate packages for various circumstances.
- No there will be accessories, but what they are won't matter because the accessories included in the box will be changing constantly. One month may be a bunch of Dan Da Dan volumes and a can of medicated water, the next a kayak oar and an MG gunpla box. The changes will never be announced to the public, and will always be chosen in a seemingly random fashion.

Big bass guitar and a tiny little trumpet

Me: a burned up Strat and a bad attitude
Big (mouth) bass-shaped bass guitar?

Tears and toilet paper.

Anxiety and, due to a manufacturing bug or something, a second anxiety instead of something else.

My action figure is 3d printed and included are STL files to print your own damn accessories.

A knife. And another knife.

I gotta tell ya, this is pretty terrific. Yeah!

Autism and depression

Like small characters standing on each shoulder, maybe riding your back in labeled t shirts?

Action keyboard and action mouse.

i would like to upgrade to the Power Glove(tm) pls

A laptop and an anal plug.

A capybara and one of those guitars that’s, like, double guitars? Y’know?

A pair of drift skates, with an interchangeable pair of crutches.

Realistically a book and a writing utensil but more honestly my phone and a joint

Bipolar meds and gummi bears.

Those gummi bears are sus.
- What do you mean? Why would I put LSD in my gummi bears?

A RAID controller and a tin of snus.

Half of an ortholinear split keyboard and a trackball that's missing the ball.

a lever action rifle and a bass guitar

A cat and a bike

Noise-cancelling headphones and allergy meds (at least this time of year)

A manual in an alien language and a "no refund" sticker

don't forget your towel

A clone and an android doppelganger and none of us know who is which

Bass and bong

2 gray kitties

Dual-weilding plushies

Bong and a coffee cup, and I'm wearing pajama pants and an anime T-shirt.

Alternate version is wearing skinny jeans and a Dead Kennedys hoodie, and comes with a bass guitar and different colors of Mohawk that can be removed and replaced.

Are mental illnesses an accessory?

A big gulp and a pack of cigarettes

Laptop and bag o’ tools _

I feel seen.

A cat and a cup of tea

Track saw and climbing shoes.

A sword and a dildo. Fightin' or f...un. Your call.

A typewriter and an empty space where a sporty car should go

Tell me more about this empty space you speak of.
- It should have something like a Miata or Caterham or a hot hatch of some kind.

My cat and my cell phone

Guilt and regret

Two fully charged batteries. 💪💪

Original ThinkPad and hacker cap.

Cell phone and a roll of toilet paper.

A phone and the physical embodiment of a Lemmy account.

A belt and a doorknob

Risky, but easier than using your hand.

Touring kayak and back country skis

A pocket knife and a houseplant in a pot.

A Gardner that comes with a seedling and a grown tree

Old Thinkpad and a 3DS... then my action figure just sits down staring at a screen and ignoring the owner.

Coffee mug and a dog.

Please not a glass jar

bicycle and pool noodle

A dab rig and a camera

Tonka: Ambulance & portable cardiac monitor.

Travel mug full of herbal tea and a rubiks cube.

But your best ao5 happens when you drink coffee, right?
- Yeah but it's a -10 to have a panic attack if I don't wait the full cooldown period.

A trophy labeled potential being swallowed by a dark blob of depression, and a pair of eyeglasses that give you 20/20 hindsight vision.

Mallet and chisel

reads news oh.

Full bathtub and a toaster

Weed vape and a coffee, or keyboard and shovel

Shades and a whiskey glass.

A fox terrier and black clothing.

AR-10 and a fishing rod

New 3ds XL in right hand and a camera bag slung around the neck with a phone, wallet, fidget spinner and cartridge case inside(alegedly since you cant actually open the camera bag.)

Drum sticks

Removable neon colored himbo clothes and an old school white Pontiac Fiero.

Laptop and Camera.

Drawing utensils. I should also come with medically indicated compression tights but due to production issues they're usually missing from the box.

Two large replaceable penises. One is extremely girthy. The other is long and proportionally thick. Both vibrate to your favorite music and have a washable jelly pump. I'll be loads and loads of fun.

Detachable penis.

Garden knife and iron skillet.

Garden knife? What makes a knife garden specific? Interesting
- A hori-hori, a knife shaped for digging and cutting both, and often one side has measurement lines too. Ever since I got one a few years ago I have not been without one. Dog destroys it? I buy another. Kids lose it? I buy another. Just such a useful tool.
  And both these items make good impromptu weapons.

A beer and a tablet stylus

Just the stylus?
- Yep, it can be stuck behind the ear, and the tablet's around here somewhere.

Pills and cool rocks.

Don't get them mixed up.

A bottle of diet soda and a guitar that I can't play

A joint and a laptop

I guess I pixel cellphone 😓

Black clothes and Thinkpad?

Scripture and a jay... The duality of man!

A pillow and a sweater that gets taken on and off unsure if you really need it

An e-book and a sofa

My computer and my cat

Depression/Anxiety meds to keep it real. My cat Mochi.

😅

A camera and a car keys

Post-its and a power rack

A cat and a laptop.

The cat can also sitt on the laptop keybord.

Nunchucks and a drafting pencil.

Pocket knife and a zippo.