rule (reminder don't take dietary advice from internet strangers)

How are those things related

The joke is people will mention the latter at any chance they get even if it doesn't fit.

So the format is:

[Important discussion]

[Unexpectedly simple response]

[Some guy interjects with thing he always talks about]

But the most important detail is I personally have a fast metabolism, I can eat as much as I want and not gain weight for whatever reason lol.
- Is this the new "I use arch btw" which was the new "I'm vegan"?
- Oh that's not what i got from that at all. I thought there was an implied fourth sentence where society beats the shit out of metabolism guy in jealousy, but they left tran people alone because that's not actually a big deal.
--the joke->

You
- What a helpful response!
  
  Gee, I'm sure glad I came to the comments to quell my confusion.

(reminder don't take dietary advice from internet strangers)

Here's my fact based advice: on average, people that eat food sometimes live longer than people that do not eat food. You should sometimes eat food.

Ignore my advice at your own peril.

I did some research and this one is backed up by actual medical science, folks…

Ancel Keys' seminal study on starvation demonstrated the severe health consequences and decreased life expectancy associated with prolonged lack of food intake (Keys et al., 1950).

So at the very least I would err on the side of eating some food, sometimes, rather than no food, never, until you talk to your doctor or nutritionist. :)
On the one hand, there's a strong correlation between eating food and dying ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

(reminder don't take dietary advice from internet strangers)

Don't eat breakfast or lunch. Just eat snacks and dinner. Gorge yourself like a snake. Eat a whole loaf of bread and call it your daily ration. Be ungovernable.

i’ve just started dangling various food types by twine from my ceiling and running at top speed around the house with my mouth open like pacman, am i doing it right
- Only if you make 'waka waka waka' noises the whole time
- common spujb w
But only if you unhinge your jaw and swallow the entire loaf whole.
- Don't tempt me, my appetite for bread is bottomless
Finally some truth! Thank you PugJesus.
Uh oh I actually do this. 🫣🫣
..... I don't remember writing this comment .....

I might be wrong and I'll be gladly proven wrong with a study, but every time someone says I have a fast metabolism just because I just ate a huge ass pizza right before their eyes, hurts my soul. Everyone that has tolled me this so far has a drastically different lifestyle from me. I don't eat that much most of the time, I often just get a salad or tuna sandwich. I also move my body a lot more, unless I absolutely have to use transit, I WALK. These people always cringe when I tell them I parked the car more than 5 mins of walking away and fucking refuse to walk to it with me.

Yeah I think there is a lot of misunderstanding by these individuals. Faster and slower metabolisms certainly exist (especially varying across values like age, sex, and hormone levels), but outside of medical science circles the “fast metabolism” label is often misapplied to situations like yours, which are much more concretely explained as a difference in lifestyle. :) Thanks for sharing.
I don't know about the metabolism, but you are definitely wrong about the spelling of "told"
- Never seen it spelled that way tbh. Impressive.

Im trans people with a fast metabolism :3

“yeah it’s like no matter how much i eat i don’t gain any weight; also i’m so super attractive and gorgeous” —you, probably
- and so smart and good at everything and perfect and amazing and yeah B3
...how many people ARE you? Did you post this via democratic consensus?
- Maybe they’re part of a collective conscience or hive mind
- And there's a shark in there somewhere probably
- hehe tbf I am plural :3
The chosen one.
Going through puberty twice will do that.
- ohh does it? if so thats a neat way of losing weight and u get boobs too x3

Fast metabolism isn't even a thing really. It has been proven to be pretty insignificant.

I don't understand the post, but I have a "fast metabolism" according to my team of gastroenterologists trying to figure out what's wrong with me. Normal people apparently don't take a huge dump 8 hours after a colonosopy. Food isn't supposed to be processed that fast, and it's incredibly difficult for me to gain weight just by eating, I couldn't eat that much if I tried. Weight training and lots of supplemental protein is the only way for me.
- Thank you for sharing. :)
  
  This is why I always find myself putting disclaimers on any diet related post now because so many people jump in with oversimplified misinformation like “fast metabolism is disproven.”
No, misinformation. While it’s more complex than a sliding scale, rates of metabolism do differ between individuals and are definitely not disproven or insignificant.

While lifestyle and diet are key considerations to health and weight management, it’s important not to dismiss differences in metabolic rates in affecting the body as you do here.

Source: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/body/21893-metabolism
- ChatGPT?
- The effects are not significant. They barely make a dent in what you can eat. Thyroid and other illnesses impacts appetite though.

Its just fucken crazy dude. Like my ass is made completely of fucken bone. I'm at the point where I wanna carry my own ass cushion around.

That episode of King of the Hill where Hank got the silicone pads to put in his pants has lived in my mind since I first saw it. I have been sorely tempted.

The moment someone said "You might develop an ass on HRT", I was ready. The concept of having something back there besides the pointy bits of my pelvis sounds absolutely delightful. Then I'd just need something over the pair of daggers I call hips.
- Right!? getting to have an ass is such a big appeal (amongst all the other benefits)
that’s a valid choice to make for which i would support you should you choose to go down that road !
I thought I had 0 ass for years. Just like you, nothing but bone. Pants always sliding right off me because I had nothing to hold them in place. Turns out, I actually just developed Posterior Pelvic Tilt from all the compensating I did for my bad ankles without realizing it. Also that apparently I have a really high waist and wide hips for a AMAB person and I've basically been wearing my pants way too low all this time.

Don’t make fun of people who can eat whatever they want and don’t gain weight. Don’t even mention it. Did this once on reddit and got dragged into some online slap fight. It was weird and super sad.

Because You said something stupid, that has been proven wrong time and time again.
- Aaaaaand here we go again.
  
  Never fails.
generally,,, just don’t make fun of people for what they can’t control.

this post just makes fun of those who talk about it a lot, which is within their control. i don’t judge or make fun of these people for their bodies at all.
i agree, you shouldn't do it. i used to be like that & people would constantly comment on it. it caused me body image issues & a weird relationship with food that i'm still having to deal with, 20 years later.

Fr, like there must be a life hack

I always wonder how this is supposed to work, do these people just have food pass right through them and cause massive headaches for sewer system engineers? Or do they passively burn so much energy that they illuminate a dark room from sheer blackbody radiation?

Closer to the latter, I think. However, it's not as striking as the person glowing—the energy does become heat, but the variation due to metabolic differences typically ranges from a small percentage to around 5-10% of total calories consumed.

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