Married folks of Fediverse, if you could turn back time to few weeks or months before your marriage, what you would do differently (if you would like to)??
Nothing
Nothing at all.
This. 25 years later, I love her more than ever.
Moral of the story: no clue. But sexiness was absolutely NOT the magic bullet.
Same. It was a great day and it went exactly as planned and as we wanted. Wouldn't change anything.
Take a much more relaxed approach to the whole thing. We were young at the time and so worried about the expectations of our families that we forgot to make it into a fun day for ourselves.
Same. If it were just up to the wife and I we would've simply gone to the courthouse and signed some stuff but we decided on a ceremony because it was "important to our families" and did things more traditionally than if it were only the two of us. We would've had a lot more fun with the whole thing if we could have just realized that the day was for us and about us and should've been done our way.
We we had been living together for two years and had kids. My mom wanted us to do a small ceremony at a beautiful park near her house but i was resistant. We did the courthouse alone and then just went home. I wish we had listened to her and really celebrated with at least our parents present. Looking back it feels like we made a business transaction out of what could have been a fun, romantic day. Just had our 30th anniversary.
I'm on my second (and very likely last) marriage, and that's what I've tried to impress on my kids. I'd like to be there when they get married, even if it's just a courthouse thing, and after that I have no expectations for what they do. My first kid eloped, and I was disappointed I couldn't be there, but was still happy for them.
We eloped, and have no pictures. A couple pictures is all I want.
We had no pictures either. Renewd our vows 11 years in and took a nice photo.
I guess not something that I would change, but I’m very glad we started with a marriage counselor. We did not have any overbearing concerns, but it has been immensely helpful in understanding each other and having a healthier relationship. Sometime people get weird and say “Oh no, a counselor, what’s wrong with your relationship.” Nothing. That is the point. Talk to one to get a baseline and when (not if) challenges come up, you don’t have to waste sessions filling them on your back story. Honestly, I think it should be required to do like three sessions before signing the papers, if nothing else to have someone point some things out that youre blind to otherwise about yourself.
Yes, I wish we had done this then as well. I also would tell myself what my migraine triggers are, so that I could try to avoid getting the worst one ever the day after the wedding. I started the honeymoon on hard mode, and didnt get to enjoy the initial travel. It took a couple days to subside and then honeymoon was great.
I would have spent more time at my wedding basking in the moment.
I cared too much being the good host. And I didn't get to fully be present at the happiness of holding her hand in marriage.
I liked our wedding, but we would probably elope instead in hindsight.
Sometimes I think this too. But if I was 27 again, I’d still want to do the whole shebang. It’s only with the experience of having done it that I would choose not to do it again. Although it was freaking expensive…
I should have thrown myself in front of a train, instead of throwing myself under a bus.
Please do not interfere with public transport
I would have had a local barbecue joint cater the wedding instead of getting a fancy caterer. The food was the most stressful part of our wedding and it wasn't even that good for the price and trouble.
Would keep the strawberry shortcake instead of wedding cake though, that was bomb.
Other than the food I wouldn't change a thing. I married the right guy and he's just gotten more awesome with time. And we had a (relatively) low-key wedding to start with so there's not much I have in the way of regrets.
Would have gotten us both mental health drugs and therapy way sooner. Would have had some honest conversations way sooner than we had them. We wouldn't spend nearly so much time angsting about making other people, especially our parents, happy around the wedding itself because a lot of those things didn't matter in the long term but took away from our enjoyment of the event for our sake.
I should have considered leaving my toxic job.
My wife is absolutely amazing I definitely don't regret that at all.
But, not a lot. Sure, the year or so before the wedding was stressful. We did the planning ourselves, put together complex invitations, "save the date" fridge magnets and all the programs. But, because we did give ourselves a year to get it sorted, we had the time to find what we wanted. We had also been living together for a couple years by the time we got married. So, it was more a "ya, we should probably finally do this" than any sort of pressure to "start our life together".
I'd change what I booked for the honeymoon. We went to Turkey and it was too hot and we both got sick.
I'd have just booked a cottage somewhere nice here in the UK.
Therapy. Looooooooots of therapy.
Not almost cut my thumb off, the fucking thing ached like I don't know what, espitally while my wife was squeezing my hand during the ceremony.
That was over 25 years ago and the pain was real
I would have pushed back on my mom's plans regarding the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. Most of my side ended up missing the rehearsal because they were stuck in traffic and the wine they brought had turned because my mom stored it improperly (in her hot garage). However, my marriage is fine almost 15 years later so I'd probably save this history altering magic for something else.
Talk to her earlier than I did
My wife and I went to Las Vegas to get married. In retrospect we would've taken a different airline out there. Spirit sucks.
It was a bad day. I wasn't present like I should have been. I'd go back in time, remind myself that this is an important day to just experience, and do that.
Eloped to avoid prima nocta. Me lord was a fat-kidneyed fopdoodle, a bedswerver and a bespawler.
Meaning about the actual wedding? Maybe a different DJ or give him more specific instructions (he was good at doing what I specifically requested but bad at using that to figure out what else might be good). Don't trust that someone else's taste is like yours.
We didn't spend too much or stress too much, it was fine. It was never my dream, husband wanted a wedding and not anything specific so we just sort of hosted a big party with a wedding as part of it.
Remember it's just a blip in what is supposed to be a very long relationship, the wedding is not the important part.
Everything went smoothly with the exception of the limousine. I ordered a party bus and received a 90's Lincoln stretch on its last leg. It was a little embarrassing but we all made the best of it. If I could go back, I'd definitely book with a different company.
Take our honeymoon straight away. We decided to wait and take our time to plan a big trip after we got married, which was in November 2019....
Then what happened? What a cliffhanger! /s
Nothing, nothing happened in 2020.
Yeah same, we took a mini trip on the way home from the wedding, with plans to do a huge trip "soon". With our lifestyles we already "need" to travel multiple times a year just for family etc, so taking the time and expense for such a trip just never really works out.
Wife and I got married in between lockdowns in the UK. We were able to have 4 people there, our witnesses and our photographer and my witness' wife. Would have liked to have had a few more people there, and a proper bachelor party, and a honeymoon of any kind....
Same, we got married while she was pregnant and we were emigrating.
That was 2010.
Well that's a way to keep the honeymoon period going!