Anon learns to love the bath bomb

drop your childhood stories:
be me, age 12
hate showering more than anything
it feels gross and i hate getting wet
my mom starts telling me that if i don't shower every day then i can't eat dinner
i want my dindin so i come up with a genius plan
let the shower run for 10-15 minutes while i sit in the bathroom
quickly wet my hair with sink
mom buys it, i get dindin
after a month she gets suspicious
realize i have to step up my game
now i run the shower and rub my arms/neck with hand soap
also run my hair under the shower so it's dripping wet and not just moist
she asks why i haven't asked her to buy shampoo yet
come up with final version of my genius plan
i'll stand next to the shower, let the water run, rub soap on my whole body and also use shampoo on my hair so it smells like shampoo
then i'll rinse off in the sink
all while the shower runs

i did this for four years until i realized i was just showering on hard mode

142 comments

Kids are great. Mine spend 5-10 minutes refusing to do a two minute task.
Kind of like how I spend three or four days avoiding a ten minute phone call.
- Not the flex you think it is lol
  Seriously, get your teeth fixed. It’s such a huge impact on your quality of life, especially later in life when that damage really starts to affect your eating habits or self confidence
  
  Broke a tooth on a pizza crust once.. 5 years later it abscessed and I had to have emergency surgery to have it removed.
  Fun times :/
  
  That sounds awful. I hope you get your teeth sorted out. Somehow.
  
  Fuck me i think I'm on my way to living the pain you had to endure... Maybe I can get another few years like you... maybe
  
  dude, i feel you. going to the dentist sucks so much i sometimes will just deal with a painful face instead.
- "dinner is ready in two minutes"
  Two minutes later, dinner ready
  "but I just started a new game!"
  🙄
  
  Don't accept that lol
  
  "Why did you do that when you knew dinner was going to be ready in two minutes?"
  "dunno"
  :/
  
  “but I just started a new game!”
  Too bad, you either quit that game right now or no videogame/computer for you for the next 2 days.
- 4 days... I've been avoiding some phone calls for straight up 3 years now, the people probably think im dead.
  
  problem solved?
This is a right of passage. Growing up there are times when you find out that the easy way to go about doing something is the way your parents were trying to pound into your head all along
- Rite* of passage
  
  Thank you
  
  Write-off passage
- some of ye all were just highly regarded
  
  I first read that as highly retarded, and thought it was a bit excessive.
If this isnt fake op may actually be on the spectrum. Washing yourself with the sink Is also called a catwash.
been plenty of times i ve been way to overtimulated to handle a full shower its much more manageable to wash and dry hair and body parts separately one by one.
Op learned what many autistic people do. Inventing an alternative method while masking it into the socially acceptable method.
- It's also called a whore bath. He might just be a whore.
  
  A friend of mine is a non-native English speaker. He teaches at an elementary school and works with 'English as a second language' students. He casually mentioned that he always tells his students to take a 'horse bath' in the bathroom sink after recess if needed. He was traumatized when I told him that he'd misheard that phrase for his entire adult life.
  
  I'm a whore expert and concur with this diagnosis.
  
  Reminds me of a snippet of conversation I overheard at the grocery. Kid’s talking to their mom and yells “child prostitution, ever heard of it?” She was pissed.
  
  We always called it military shower.
That's pretty retarded.
- How I feel reading 90% of the stories how anons go through their days.
- I'm gonna assume you said autistic but it was taken to be derogatory and while the phrasing you used implies that, it is literally a reaction to symptoms of autism. That hypersensitivity to physical feelings fucking suuuuucks
  
  More than a little confused by your comment.
  Retarded is crossed out in the 4chan post. Did you read it?
  
  Go.
  Away.
I’m constantly amazed at the variety of possible human sensory differences.
My problem is not spending the whole day in the shower.
- The white noise aspect of the shower is amazing. Have you ever turned off the lights and just stood under the water in the dark? It's pretty great, in my opinion.
  
  Then you turn the lights back on and the water is thicker and red.
  
  It's a trap, you'll be there till the water runs cold, which may be a really long time
are you guys that bitch made that saying retarded on a 4chan sub is crossed out
- Yeah ngl as someone who grew up being called retarded for being autistic I really hate how this word has become a slur.
  Like every time people create a word for a specific type of person it becomes a slur. At some point people need to just get the fuck over it.
  
  I also just don't get the point of censoring. I don't have any particular feelings about the word retarded, but I'm also autistic. Do I get annoyed when people use autistic as an insult (i hope it never reaches actual slur status because I'll never accept it as such), esp for stuff that has nothing to do with ASD symptoms at all? Sure. Does it make it better if someone crosses it out in a screenshot, or censors it in a quote? Lolno.
  
  It was a slur the entire time millennials were growing up. It hasn't not been a slur since...the 70s?
- A kid named ~~saying retarded on a 4chan sub~~
I was 75% that... I was just dumb and my parents heard the sink running at the same time and opened the door and confronted me lol.
Anything that starts with "be me" is pretty much universally idiotic, so this is no surprise.
- be me
  come up with a new synonym for idiot
Also, anon is autistic.
How do you rinse off in the sink?
- In hard mode, obviously.
- Rag
- Maybe his mom told him the bath was a sink, just a big one.
I mean I hated being told to do things so this would 100% be something I would at least consider doing
God I was a pig headed, grubby little preteen I relate to this in spirit so hard.
Pushing boundaries by never doing exactly what you're told: always put your own idiotic spin on it, or else the adults win!
Retarded ass OP doesn't know what a bath bomb is
- Not a film buff, are you?
This has nothing to do with bath bombs.
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._Strangelove
Had to do x km/day on the static bike, because fat.
Got no time for that.
Old static bike, with mechanical revolution counter.
Unscrew spinning cable that feeds from the bike into the counter.
MacGyver Lego contraption, with motor, with a pointy bit that fits where the cable would go.
Motor goes brrr, do required km in seconds, plug cable back in, rinse and repeat;, parents never find out (I "exercised" while they were working).
Still fat. 😞
- Stationary bikes suck, riding on a real one is way more fun. I don't blame anyone for hating that
You’re allowed to say Retarded here on not-Reddit.
I think.
- You’re allowed to do anything anywhere. All acts are permissible, in the grand scheme. I just don’t care to. Now bothering the people who want to say it, that’s my jam.
  
  You’re allowed to do anything anywhere. All acts are permissible, in the grand scheme.
  Feel like I should remember that more often in life.
  
  ok retard
- Depends on the instance! Our dot ml friends can't say or even see it from others.
- Lemmy seems to hate that word more than reddit funnily enough. It was my first instance of learning that Tankies have a FUCKED sense of priorities
  
  A lot of us are really hoping Lemmy doesn't turn into tankie-voat to the extent a lot of lemmy instances are staying away from tankie instances. Being uncool with some shit (like making fun of mentally handicapped people) is part of that.
- I've tried saying removed but it got censored.
  This is a test to see if it's instance or community based.
  
  I said fag-got and it got censored. What a fucking joke. Why is a British suet pudding fucking illegal to say? What do they have against British food? Fucking faggits
- Are you not allowed to on Reddit?
  
  Instant three day ban, I believe. Site wide.
Are we ignoring the fact they did this until they were 16? I mean like, if this ended when they were 12 that'd be pretty par for the course kid idiocy. But 16? Damn dude.
- 4chan
Thus is a troll. No one says "dindin."
- People write it like that because it's silly

142 comments