Driving a manual: is it difficult?

Why do you need to drive in the first place?
- Yeah, just take their well known public transport system, or take six months and tour the country by bicycle. \s
  
  Can't his boyfriend drive the car

hm i think you will need at least lime 3h of controlled practice tp get used to it. My gf learnt to drive automatic and after 3 lessons of 30min, she can barely start moving the car by herself lol.

Like riding a bike. If you've never done it it's going to be hard but give it a few hours of deliberate practice you'll be fine.
And again like with a bike you should probably practice away from traffic to begin with..

Learning to drive a stick is really easy if you have somebody to teach you well, but waaay too many people are like, "here, keep fucking up until the car doesn't go anymore or you figure it out, whichever comes first".
Hardest part is getting the car to start moving from stopped. Changing gears once moving, you can fuck it up a bunch and nothing much happens except funny engine noises and the owner starts making constipated-looking facial expressions. But if you fuck up starting from stopped, then you lurch around a bunch, stall the engine, and don't go anywhere.
To get started from stopped, without horrible lurches or stalls, do like this FROM A FLAT PLACE -- don't try anything with hills until you can make the car go on the flat first:
IMPORTANT: adjust your seat so you can easily push the clutch (left pedal) in -- all the way to the floor -- without uncomfortable stretching
In your driveway when there's nobody going to honk at you, start the car, put it in neutral, and practice pushing the gas pedal just enough to hold the engine at 3000 RPM or so. Not making crazy racing noises, just a nice steady "the engine is running normal-fast-ish" and hold it that way. Practice a couple times until your foot and your ear know what it feels like
Put it in gear without moving -- gas off, clutch in and put the car in first gear.
Gas on, steady at 3000 RPM, slooooooowly let the clutch out until you can just barely feel the clutch is engaged. Engine revs down a little bit, car starts crawling forward. Practice that a couple times, just let the clutch out until it barely starts doing anything, then put it back in, until your foot knows what it feels like.
Now do it again, engine held at steady revs, clutch out until just barely engaged, then let the clutch out just a little bit more, so the car wants to crawl, and hold the clutch there. Car starts crawling. Keep the engine steady like you've been, let the car start crawling, don't even change anything, just let the car crawl. It will slowly accelerate until you're moving at some steady 1st-gear speed. Once it's come up to (slow) speed you can let the clutch out the rest of the way.
Congratulations you moved a car
- practice pushing the gas pedal just enough to hold the engine at 3000 RPM or so. Not making crazy racing noises, just a nice steady "the engine is running normal-fast-ish"
  Depending on the type of car, this might usually be somewhere between 1500 and 2000 RPM, 3000 RPM are more typical for a sports car.

I've found the hardest part is suddenly having any health issue with major extremities. Broke your finger? Crucial. Broke your leg or foot? Crucial. Having 2 functioning legs and 2 functioning hands is ideal.

No more difficult than using a phone while walking, except looking around while driving is even more important. I've taught several people how to drive a manual transmission in an afternoon. Different afternoons of course.

Take the lesson. While learning, stay off of hills and any upward incline until you got a feel from taking the car from full stop to going in 1at gear.
While learning you will stall the car.... Don't let it bother you.
The trickiest part is learning how to ease the clutch while applying gas to go from full stop to motion forward.
Remember neutral when coming to a stop.
Manuals are great, it's built in theft protection from like 95 % of people
- Yea, getting the lesson from Dad is probably a great thing. He'll enjoy helping, it's good bonding time, and he'll have stories for the future!
  
  *yeah, not yea or nay. It isn't a vote.

I took my driving lessons with a manual, but have been driving automatic for over a decade now.
Whenever I do need to drive a manual, I usually need a while to get used to it again. At those moments I make use of the guidelines that were taught to me by my driving instructor:
Is for getting the car going and getting in or out of a parking spot.
Is for speeds up to 25 km/h
Is for speeds up to 45 km/h
Is for speeds up to 75 km/h
Is for anything beyond
It’s a simple helper that matches most of the common speed zones in the Netherlands (30, 50, 80). From what I can quickly read, the 80 zone is 90 in Romania, so it should still work?
Anyway, don’t worry too much. It is also nice not having to drive at all if it comes down to that, your boyfriend’s family sounds nice :)
Enjoy your trip!
- Not quite that simple. Speed is only a rough guideline. When you shift depends largely on how hard you're accelerating. In a typical car if you're trying to get up speed to get on the freeway, 25 is way too soon to shift into 3rd. I wouldn't until at least 30. Same if you're going up a hill, at 25 the car won't have enough torque for 3rd gear.
  
  It was just a basic guideline being taught to me back then. And I guess it’s mainly for cruising speeds. You might want to stick with a lower gear for accelerating. There are of course all kinds of exceptions. And NL is basically flat, so I don’t know about hills :)
  But the km/h list gives me something to fall back on when in doubt. Driving is stressful enough for me as it is.

The basics are easy - half an hour with someone who knows what they"re doing should be all you need to get out and about. Getting to the point where it's instinctual and you don't have to think about shifting is probably beyond the limits of a short trip but depending on how much driving you do you can be fairly smooth within a few days.
The main risk you run with learning manual is that once you get the hang of it it spoils automatics for you - you might end up having to buy yourself a manual car to avoid being annoyed by the missteps autos tend to do.
- Modern autos with cvts are kinda at the point where it is basically magic. They feel like driving a golf kart that can reach 200km/h.

Manuls aren't super hard, but there's definitely a learning curve you can't avoid. Since you'll be in a new country you'll have enough going on and don't want to add to any stress, I would really recommend renting an automatic.
- Yeah, you're going to stall the engine in the beginning. A lot. That means turning the engine back on in traffic in unfamiliar surroundings.
  Also, if you're going to be driving on any hills, you'll need a separate new skill set for a manual car.
  Stick to automatic, but take the offer to learn.
- This. It takes a bit to figure out the rhythm, but it’s not hard once you know how it feels. If you do try it, definitely be prepared to be frustrated at least once and stall the car at least more than once (I know I did)!
  Once you figure it out, though, it can be much more fun and engaging (and sometimes more annoying) than an automatic.
  EDIT: that said, if you’re really concerned about it, don’t be ashamed to rent the automatic!

otherwise, I can rent an automatic.
You want to double check whether you actually can do that.
Automatics are actually rare there. The kind of rare that turns heads and raises eyebrows.

The clutch biting point is the main trick - particularly on a hill start. In an automatic you can hear the gear shifts so that’s your timing.

Driving a manual is pretty easy, but it depends on how you handle failure. The learning process requires making a few mistakes while you become familiar with a clutch and shifting gears.
Also, I think it's much easier to learn if you know what the parts are doing. Watch some videos on how it all works and what different RPMs sound like.

I had almost no driving experience. And I learnt driving a manual in 10 lessons (30 min each). So depending on how much time you have, you can think about learning. Do mind that it will be frustrating initially.

Are you sure you will be allowed to drive a manual car in Romania with your American license if you didn't take the test with a manual car? I live in a different European country and here if you take the test with an automatic car, you are only allowed to drive automatic cars. You should research this.
It's definitely different from an automatic car and requires more concentration. Once you get used to it, it's not difficult. I was older than you are now when I learned to drive at all (which I did on a manual car) and managed it anyway.
- US licenses don't differentiate. There's no way to tell by the license which transmission you used on the test. Shouldn't be a problem.
  
  For that exact reason some countries (my country included) don't accept an American license unless you do a test here first.
  Though IIRC, that applies for both manuals and automatics, because American drivers education isn't really trusted here.
- I have my US (state) driver's license & my IDP, neither which specify manual/automatic, so there's nothing stopping me from driving a manual legally. In Romania, from what my bf told me, if you pass your test on an automatic you can de jure only drive automatic as you have a marker on your license, but de facto you can drive whatever as there are no actual legal penalties mentioned in the law for driving a manual with a marked license.
  
  When I was in Romania last year the rental company (enterprise) wouldn’t accept my US driver license…not sure if it is Romanian law or company policy though.
  
  You might want to check the details here: I know that in some European countries, you'll have trouble renting a car at all with an American license unless you pass a driving test in a European country first to get certified. In fact, in several countries I don't think an American license is valid at all until you pass a test. It's probably worth checking out the details for Romania.
- Generally you are allowed to drive whatever you could at home. Since US licenses allow you to drive a manual you can drive a manual even if you never had. By contrast if you are from a country that makes the distinction you can't drive a manual even if you have been practicing (how?) and just need to do the final test to drive a manual. (I'm not sure how someone without a manual endorsement would go about getting it in such countries, but whatever that process is)
  
  I don't really think there's any "generally" here: It differs quite a bit between countries. I believe in some countries they won't allow you to drive a manual unless your license specifies it (i.e. an American license isn't valid for a manual).

It's really hard, I tried for a while and gave up. Way too many things to pay attention to and get right at once, while doing something dangerous.

Driving manual is not particularly complicated, but it will require you to focus a lot of attention on it at first. Since you also have to cope with with differences in driving regulations, this will put you and your passengers more at risk than necessary.
It takes time (~tens of hours) to build the muscle memory so that it becomes natural. For a vacation in the short term, you should go ahead with your plan to rent an automatic.

It's not toooooo hard. But you will need a good little bit to get the feel for it.
And I don't know how hilly Romania is but the first time your stall out on an incline you will feel embarrassed and likely honked at. And it will be all the harder to recover cause now you're stressed about it.

No, but I've never driven an automatic

It's easy tbh.
There's a learning curve, but if you can walk while pulling something out of your pocket, you meet the minimum coordination test.
If you have a tachometer, it's a little easier to learn when to shift, but it isn't necessary at all, just a nicety.
No bullshit, I learned in a day, and was able to drive without grinding gears in maybe a week. Taught many people over the decades since. A day of practice that includes hills is all it takes to get the basics down.
When you first drive a different car, it may take a few miles to get a feel for the clutch and shifter throw, but that's about it.
It seems way harder than it actually is, assuming you have full limb mobility. If you don't, it can be a good bit harder.
When you first try it, just remember to get the clutch pedal all the way in before shifting, and you won't have trouble in that regard. Letting the clutch out in sync with the gas is where coordination comes in, so test any new vehicle in an empty parking lot or other open space that's flat, so you can get a feel for that safely. Once you have that feel, it's easy peasy again.
At this point, I don't even pay attention to shifting. It just happens without thinking about it as the vibration reaches the right level.
Hell, in my old car, I had taught dozens of people how to drive stick, and it got to 200k miles with the original clutch in it. That's how easy it can be to learn.

It's quite hard for someone who haven't done it before. It'll take months if not years of daily driving for you to get good enough that you don't need to constantly think about it. There's differences between vehicles too, especially with how the clutch feels. I've been driving manual for over 15 years and if I jump into a unfamiliar car it'll take me a while to get the handle of it as well.

Visit a AAA location and get an “international drivers permit”. It’s super easy and a good insurance policy for yourself. I highly doubt the police speak much English and aren’t corrupt, so it may save headaches. Also, watch out on neighborhood streets for potholes.

It's like riding a bike. My wife was resistant to stick shift... Then her dad got her a used car that was manual. Almost 20 years later it's all we've owned.
It seems difficult at first, until it's second nature. And I still make little mistakes here or there like staying in a gear for to long. But once you learn it, it's super easy.
Like others said, it's all a dance between pulling out the clutch portal and feeding fuel. I suggest learning exactly where the clutch begins to grip. Once you know where they spot is, it's much easier to feel how to drive.
Best of luck!
- "clutch portal"... I'm not really sure where that portal goes... Lol

Its not hard to learn but it does take time to become confortable with it. I recommend renting a car. Driving manual car for the first time with the added stress of driving in a different county is a recipe for disaster. By all means try it. Take up the offer of that lesson, but its unwise to have to rely on a manual car for transport when you've never driven one before.
But also make sure you actually need a car. The US is built with fully car dependent infrastructure, so americans are taught their whole lives to just assume they always need a car. That isn't the case everywhere, and might not be where you're going. Be sure to check.

Well not to be an ass, but why would you drive yourself around? I have the feeling your boyfriend and his family wouldn't mind driving you around for a bit. And in Europe you don't generally need a car to get around.
Anyways. Driving manual is not too hard. Just don't let the stalls bother you. Other drivers don't really mind either if you stall and waste a bit of time, so just relax. And to be honest; I would actually take the chance to learn it while you can if I were you. Seems like you have a good opportunity here.

It's easy
It's also a great way to be more connected to your vehicle and what's happening. You have to be more aware of things, anticipate corners, hills etc.
Automatics have made people lazy and disconnected
- That's why I drive a manual with no power steering, power brakes, ABS or traction control.
  Manual windows and no power locking and I find power window wipers make this generation soft too.
  
  My mans over here saving the planet
  
  You don't have an automatic starter do you? Things started going downhill when we stopped manually cranking the engine
- My recent automatics have been 8 speeds. Do you drive an 8 speed manual?
  
  4 speed connected to a transfer case with hi/low

Driving manual is not difficult, but unlike the opposite scenario, it's not something you can learn with only short instructions.
It does take time to develop the motor skills in order do it without thinking about it. The practice wlll take maybe an afternoon or two if you do nothing else. I'd advise you to do it over more than one day to allow yourself to sleep on it and come back at it
Once you've learned it, you'll never think about it again though.

Driving a manual is easy if you already know how to drive. I got my lesson from a dude who sold me my first manual. You’ll fuck up a bit but you won’t break anything.
Take the automatic if you’re worried and just enjoy your vacation
- I'm teaching my 15 year old how to drive and we drive a manual transmission. She's doing just a well as her three older siblings that learned on automatics.

You could rent an automatic, get the lesson, then see if you want to use their cars or keep the rental. I do recommend giving it a shot since it would be a new experience!
There is a small learning curve to manuals, and it is slightly harder in hilly areas.

Takes a bit of practice to get the feel for it but it's not too hard. 90% of the learning curve is just getting the car rolling from a dead stop without stalling
- And learning how to properly shift. While the car surging and stopping was funny while I learned, you don't want to do that on a busy thoroughfare. Just make sure to practice someplace quiet and you'll pick it up pretty quick.
  
  Getting the car to start rolling up a hill instead of down it backwards is also an important thing to get the hang of before someone is right behind you in traffic.

Nah, takes you 15 minutes to learn, and just a few weeks of practice to make it perfectly smooth
- If the clutch survives.
  
  If the clutch doesn't survive, it was already near failure anyway.
  
  There’s always a few topics that bring the most annoying people out and manual driving is one of them.
  No a learner isn’t going to destroy a clutch. You could also grind a gear a dozen times in a learner session and still not strip it.
  These types of shitty comments only keep people from trying new things out of fear or embarrassment.

The easiest way to learn manual is to focus on one pedal at a time. Learn how to get the car moving using just the clutch pedal alone.
Seriously, don't even touch the gas until you can accomplish this. Have someone in the passenger seat to operate the handbrake so that you don't even have to worry about the brake pedal. Just operate the clutch and nothing else. If you can manage to get going from one pedal without stalling, you're already 90% of the way there.
The next step is learning when to shift, but that comes naturally with practice. Eventually you'll become in-tune with the sounds the engine is making, and then knowing when to shift becomes second nature.
- Yea, I think this is kind of "the way" to teach manual. It really focuses on getting a feel for a clutch and the non-linearity of friction in it.

Depends on your definition of 'difficult'. I can pull a motherboard and replace it, I can hand-edit the Windows registry to do some shit most people aren't even aware is possible, etc. Are those things difficult? No, because I know how to do them. They are complex and technical and require a fair bit of knowledge and understanding to not screw it up though. Everything is difficult until you learn how to do it, then it's not. Might be better to ask how hard it is to learn? Cause I can't drive at all so I'm guessing it's somewhere between multiplication tables and organic chemistry but that's probably not helpful. :P

It would be a chore to learn while visiting. Just have your boyfriend drive you around and maybe rent a car for a longer trip.
I personally find it stressful driving in foreign countries.

I had a friend learn how to drive a manual for a trip to Italy. It took maybe 2 20 minute sessions before she was comfortable with it. When she got there the driving was fine but the honking freaked her out 😂

It's easy. Just read the manual.

Take the lesson, as it's not hard, but it takes some practice making it seem effortless. With a lesson you'll learn the basics, and the rest is just practice over a day or two.
If you're driving automatic correctly, your left foot should be available, and the only thing different with your feet is that your left foot now needs to handle the clutch. This means during (some of the) braking or other times when you want to disengage the drivetrain.
After a little while you get a feel for listening to the RPM, and you begin to shift gear automatically based on the engine sound, or any planned changes in speed/torque.
Oh, and it's worth noting that most cars are somewhat different when it comes to clutching: Some have the car equivalent of a hair trigger, others are much more lenient. If you've gotten used to one car, trying out a different one might be useful.

Nah, I daily all manuals.
My best recommendation outside of trying a friend's car, try driving one in a sim racing or racing game! That'll give you an idea. Games like the long drive or even motortown have clutch simulation. You can even do it with a keyboard, but even a cheap wheel is good to practice with. Even with a 2 pedal wheel, you can bind the brake to the clutch and practice that way.

if you already know how to drive and the rules of the road and such, its really not too bad, it just takes some practice. Just get ready to use your left leg while driving lol

It takes a bit of practice. A few minutes of instruction can show you how it works, but then you will want to actually practice (maybe an hour or so) on some quiet roads before driving in traffic.

It's definitely something you can learn in just a few lessons, particularly if you are just driving around town here and there. There's a rhythm and muscle memory to it, and once you get it, it becomes super easy.
I think I traded in my last stick-shift (a Jetta) 13+ years ago, and there are still times when I am driving and my left foot instinctively moves toward an invisible clutch....

Since they say they will be giving you a quick lesson... might be allright. It will most likely need some time to get used to it but you might be fine. See how the quick lesson goes? They might show you around the neighborhood for you to then drive around yourself and get used to it a bit.
It will be a whole another thing to keep in mind so be extra careful with your driving probably

In a small modern car its not super bad but will never be as easy as automatic. Getting used to using your left foot is annoying though. I had to use an old boat without power steering and quite when I was young and got my license on a friends automatic later in life. Im someone who hates driving in general though.

I would recommend practicing on a truck at first. The clutch is beefier and can take the punishment of a newbie, and you’ll get more of an idea of how the clutch feels when it engages.
- Trucks don't have too much to do with it. It's completely different per car in general. I've driven in cars that are almost impossible to stall.
  
  Hondas (90s) have been the easiet manual to get moving I've ever seen. You practically can't stall them. (Toyatas too, 90's Corollas are something else).
  And I disagree with the truck - those can make learning harder. One of the hardest I've ever driven was a Ford from the 90's. Heavy as hell clutch that was too small, terrible gear ratios so starting off was a bitch, with big gaps between the gears so you had to run out each gear until you ran out of revs.
  But I've also driven old trucks with granny gears - an extra-low gear below first for getting moving with a heavy load. Those you just let off the clutch and the truck moves at a walking pace.
  
  It’s less the stalling and more that the clutch is heavy duty and can take the abuse of a learner grinding it a lot more.

How confident are you driving an automatic? If you're comfortable, it shouldn't be too big of a deal. If you already struggle to navigate traffic, adding more controls will make that worse.
- I'm confident. Not to honk my own horn... (car pun intended).
  
  You'll probably never want to go back lol

I guess it is like bicycling: there is a price to pay in blood 😉 My suggestion: in Romania, take a few hours of driving lessons with a professional teacher who can explain everything to you.
- I think that's overkill, he already knows how to drive.
  He just needs to learn how to use the clutch. A few YouTube videos, and a few hours of practice getting used to the clutch and he should be good

https://www.jalopnik.com/heres-how-to-destroy-your-manual-transmission-and-how-1828403150/
- Meh, you're not going to hurt a modern manual with a learner. They're not even likely to hurt the clutch.
  Internals of a transmission are primarily made of 3 materials: brass, aluminum, and *hardened steel".
  Aluminum is for shift forks, I can't even imagine a way to break one.
  Brass is for synchros, which can be worn by grinding - which isn't really easy to make happen anymore, plus but it's not like you're gonna sit there and hold it while it's grinding, you'll release it quickly. The last car I remember having grinding issues was because they didn't use a synchro for second gear so you got a short little growl if you didn't shift "just so". Last time I drove that car it had 250k on the odometer.
  Hardened steel is for the gears themselves. And those things are beefy.
  I've seen dragsters miss-shift on 1960's gearboxes that weren't built for 450hp/500lb torque, and they've survived it fine (I've also seen them fail the same way). A new driver in today's cars just can't do that kind of damage unless it's intentional - and that would take some time.

Lol I hope you're a quick learner, though getting thrown on the street with a "good luck" does kick the lessons into overdrive.

It's not hard. It's just a pain in the ass.

If you had four to six months to learn and practice you might be ready enough, if your trip is sooner I wouldn't recommend it.
Do you have a friend who can dedicate long two hour session to it? If so you might get it in ten hours or so of practice.... But they'd have to be a good teacher (be able to teach you how/when the flywheel is taking up the momentum).
- You can learn to drive stick in 20 minutes with the right teaching approach.
  I learned in about 10 minutes, with my brother teaching me... Not exactly the teacher of choice. And these were cars without tachometers or hydraulic clutches.
  The key is learning how the clutch engages, where it's "catch point" is. Using the "No throttle" method, people pick it up, fast.
  Plus with cars today you don't have to rely on downshifting to slow down - Brakes are just that advanced now (though you still want to brake in short cycles for long downhills to prevent overheating).

Unless you're OK with looking foolish in front of your boyfriend's dad, I would rent an automatic. You also have the possibility of damaging the clutch if you're not careful.
That said, it shouldn't take more than an afternoon to get the hang of it, so, either way.
- Looking foolish? It's Romania. The only foolish thing to do is to not try.
- I mean, damaging the clutch takes a LONG TIME. I abused my first car learning to drive and it was just fine throughout the 8 years I owned it.
  
  Depends on how bad you are. You can glaze a clutch in an afternoon.

Manual is for the big boys
- We men just love touching shafts.

Eh, he's alright. Whenever I pick up Emanual in my Uber, he's decent people....
.....what?
Did I misread the situation?