A Rare Issue With the Swastidumpster

So the Cyberfuck is:
Not bulletproof
Not waterproof
Can't handle mud or snow
Can't handle the sun
Can't handle parking lots
Did I miss anything?
- Don't take it within 10 miles of the coast.
  It activates dynamic "go brown and crumbly" safety feature on the outer panels.
- Can rust even under ideal conditions
- • fucking ugly
- Wasn’t it supposed to be amphibious. Don’t forget headlight shelf gets clogged with snow
  
  Except it was literally was advertised as being as such.
  https://electrek.co/2024/02/21/tesla-cybertruck-drives-through-water-real-world-wade-mode-test/
  Last year, Musk claimed Tesla Cybertruck would be “waterproof enough” to serve as a boat and cross rivers:
  Cybertruck will be waterproof enough to serve briefly as a boat, so it can cross rivers, lakes and even seas that aren’t too choppy.
  Also let's not forget about how the tow hitch can't tow.
- Its crazy to me that my little V4 Hyundai elantra is better at off roading than that hunk of junk.
  
  Not to be pedantic but it's a 4 cylinder not a v4. The cylinders are in a line so it would technically be an i4 for inline.
- Can't reliably tow at the advertised rating.

Charge the car wash with terrorism.
- I'm sure the car wash will claim it was just enhanced interrogation.

Apparently part of the frame fills up with water until the level gets high enough to short some critical internal wiring
- Smh y'all will do anything to disparage Teslers.
  The driver does something stupid, such as getting the car wet, and the car sometimes shuts itself down instead of catching fire.
  No other car even tries to stop itself after getting wet! Can't you see how much better they are?! Have you even said thank you once? In this conversation?
  /s
  
  I'll have to set the lawn watering thingy to cover a little extra ground :p
  
  Thank you
  /s
- Drill some holes in the lowest parts of the frame?
  
  That might just do the trick, I don't know what's beneath that bit of frame tho
- Jesus Christ

Buy a cybertruck, they are best vehicle ever, except a few catches.
Like for example you can't wash it or it'll break, cant drive it or the wheels will fall off, and best not to sit in it either incase it traps you inside.
This is quite possibly the greatest product America has ever made. Well atleast its affordable.
- Wonder why no one is suing yet. I’m legitimately confounded by the absence of lawsuits
  
  I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a contracted arbitration or something…
  
  Well, the guy who made the trucks gutted the CFPB a few months back...
  
  The ones that had by far the best grounds to sue burnt to death.
  
  The people that bought a cyber truck are fully on board with everything Leon is doing.
- Lol and don't slam the doors!
  For the record, if you slam the doors the inside part comes partially loose and catches on the interior, so that when you open the door again the inside part tears away (literally tears like a rag).
  
  lol wtf... it's like people discover a new design disaster every day. you ever seen those design challenges where people try to come up with absolutely awful UI or terribly unusable everyday objects... it's like they deliberately did that for a truck.
- Don’t touch the doors or the panel will fall off.
  
  You can safely touch the emergency door release cover. That panel will NOT come off.
  
  Apparently it's strong enough to keep it's passengers inside to be burned alive.
  
  That's not a problem after you've had your fingers sliced off when you close the hood.
- Well atleast its affordable.
  Starting price is like $82,000, or $101k with options lol
  https://www.caranddriver.com/tesla/cybertruck
  
  Pretty sure that's the joke
  
  Yeah but used ones must be very cheap lmao
  
  yep, super affordable…

Mfw my little hyundai hatchback is more durable than a supposed "prepper vehicle"

Ok, so a car wash kills it. What happens when it rains? Do they sell a giant umbrella to mount on the stupid ass thing?
- Maybe the soap dissolves some load bearing glue?
  
  🤣
- I wonder if it's because the "geniuses" at Tesla forgot to protect the electronics from water coming up from beneath it. It would explain a lot lol
  
  There's a YouTube video of someone chopping one up and that's exactly what it is. There're holes in the frame that allow water to get inside the battery compartment and pool there.
  
  Somewhere else I saw that there are unprotected wires in a well of the frame that can accumulate water.
  
  So that means someone could potentially brick a cybertruck by spraying water on it from below at the right spot?

Same. I washed my hair yesterday and I had a heart attack. I also washed my stainless steel forks and they rust in a few minutes. It's the worst.
- What ? Dont you know that dihydrogen monoxide has a Ph higher than any acid ? Why would you put that on your hair !
  
  It's also more acidic than bleach! Chemists refer to it as a "universal solvent." It's basically the scariest substance in existence
- Both heart and forks very good quality, very very good. Very expensive.
  
  Heart very bullet proof, look !

You remember when he said it would function as a boat.
- Like a boat, you don't get to use it as much as you like and you have to keep throwing money at it.
  
  And the 2 happiest days of ownership are when you get it and when you get rid of it. Although I’m guessing some people might be having second thoughts as they take delivery given all the news about the build quality. Truly revolutionary, making boats seem reliable.
- An example of a boat is the Titanic. But given the tendency to burst into flames, perhaps the Felicity Ace or the Moskva might be more accurate.

I like how on my car there are routes for water to drain wherever two panels meet, even if those panels are a door with a seal. It's almost like the people who designed it thought it might get used outside

LOL "truck." Now it's a very pricey, completely stupid looking piece of lawn ornamentation.
- Like most trucks.
- The world's largest paperweight

Note that the charger is stuck.
- Guess they don’t know about the string you yank hidden in the tailgate to unlock it manually
- What’s up with that? Did they wash it while charging?
  
  It sounds like it didn't die in the carwash but overnight, so my guess is they plugged it in overnight after the wash and after it died the plug won't unlock maybe?
  
  IIRC, the chassis has some places where water can pool inside without drainage holes, and wiring runs through those trays. It could be that the car was fine for a while until the owner tried charging it, which would've tripped a fuse or something.

Ironically, gasoline is recommended to wash Stainless Steel.

The irony being you can't take some other Tesla models through touch car washes due to swirling on California compliant paint jobs.

Doesn't using a car wash without putting the car in "car wash mode" first void its warranty, or was that false news? (I don't remember where I heard it.) Nice way to make a lot of unsuspecting people void their warranty.
- That's actually in the owner's manual for the thing, very true. I've seen it posted before.
  I wish I had a link handy for you, but honestly I despise the thing and would much rather piss on it than bother with any more research.
  Hell, it's already a laundry list of recalls..
  
  Is there a "piss on truck" mode that you have to turn on for that?
- A video clip about it just came across my YouTube feed...
  https://youtube.com/shorts/VmJuJ8C6eMQ

Still love the truck /s
- Absolutely, that truck is a beast. It can carry a whole dead cybertruck all the way to the service center!
- lol... you're getting downvoted even with the sarcasm tag
  Apparently 22 mf's hate the cybertruck so much they forget how to read
  
  I just laughed at that too. People too triggered to get to the "/s" before replying.
- Yeah I gotta admit I love ‘em when they’re dead too and when they get tagged with really cool graffiti I love that