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birretta @lemmy.world

27F, what to do with my life?

I gave up on a study course after five years of hell and now I'm back at my parents' house and must make a big decision on what career to pursue and find a job asap. But I just can't decide, I can't picture myself in 5/10 years from now and can't even imagine what type of job I'd love, bc everything seems out fo reach and impossible, just like it felt when I was 20.

I'm from Italy, and I made my previous choice based on job perspectives here, now I'd like some perspective from abroad...

  • business and economics This is a course in English, I also speak French and in an ideal world I would have studied foreign languages (but in reality, I would have found no job, here at least, or nothing promising). Studying economics in English would sort of fulfill that, I'd study other languages and strive to become an export manager with time. Other than that I could combine it, in THe future, with studies in cultural heritage, which would be my first choice if only I could live off of that. And find related jobs as I go.
  • computer science. Never interested me that much, I had a basic programming course which wasn't that bad, I think I'd be able to do that... But I don't know if I'd really want that. I've thought about it bc I'm interested in data journalism, and I could combine it with data visualization, design, writing... But that's more like an interest, I don't think I'd like the actual careers I'd have access too... I don't even have that much knowledge on what possible jobs would be like.
  • management engineering Again export or project manager. I'd prefer economics, but bc of my age this might give me slightly better chances of finding a job asap?

Of course the careers I mentioned require years of work and I'm willing to do that, the problem is I feel very confused, I'm afraid of wasting time bc of my age, maybe studying and not finding a job and also how can one know if a career is the right one for you? You first have to get there...

Any type of advice would be of great help, thank you in advance

75 comments

  • Can confirm. Boring is the way. Accounting, economics, etc.

    For me, I worked my ass off to be a person that works on movies and TV etc. Got lucky, held some dream positions, and even got to make my own thing.

    However, if I could do it all again, I'd stay in the boring office job I had and share twice as much time with my family and friends.

    Instead, I worked 80 hour weeks, made some decent money in respected roles, and then Covid took everyone and everything close to me. Money and respect mean nothing if you can't share it with those you love.

    Boring is the way. Don't worry about liking your job in 10-20 years, worry about liking your life.

  • Un mio amico è partito un po' di anni fabper l'Olanda con zero conoscenze di computer eccetto averne montati un paio, ha incominciato a fare IT per le aziende mentre si guardava filmati su youtube per risolvere i problemi che gli capitavano e pian piano ha imparato. Nel frattempo ha preso lezioni di programmazione e adesso gestisce la parte software di una startup. Ovviamente devi trovare una situazione che favorisca questa cosa e in Italia ahimè ce n'è poche.

  • In my 20s I worked a lot of different jobs in a lot of different industries and learned something from each one. There is nothing wrong with making a living until you can make a career.

    • I second this, if you are unsure of what direction to take, get a job that is easy. Something simple like grocery store, deli, etc. If you have the intelligence for higher education you will excell at simple jobs, get in a groove doing your daily taks and you will probably get promoted through the ranks while you figure out what direction you want to take in life.
      If i lost my job tomorrow (professional technical career) i would seriously consider becoming barista and living stress free for a while and not rush to figure out my 'next move'.

  • The first option sounds to be fitting your interest the most, so why not go with that?

    As it reads like another study course, the question is if the reasons for giving up your original course still persist. If so, deal with that first, I would suggest.

  • Since you're not sure what you want to do, I say don't pursue a specific career, but pursue a field that interests you. You might not have the luxury of finding a job opening for exactly what you want, even if you did have something specific in mind, but by having relevant skills you can get closer and eventually find something that works for you.

    I went to school for a certain field, found a job that was in no way related, and eventually got a position there that did use my education (I was chosen because of it). 10 years later, found a new company in "my field" that uses both my education and the skills from the previous job that I thought would never be useful elsewhere. The more things you can put on your resume, the better, especially in a world where AI will be screening thousands of applications for the most keywords.

  • If you're at a University of some kind, you can ask a counselor there about job shadowing opportunities in the fields you are considering.

    • I second this, and would generally recommend finding some people to talk to who are in jobs similar to those you are considering, even if you aren't able to shadow them. And you don't have to be in university to do this--ask people you know if they know anyone in jobs or careers related to those you are considering, and ask to pick those people's brains. Ask them about what they like and dislike about their current job, what previous jobs/positions they've had and what they learned from those roles, what decisions they made that shaped their career path, what advice they would give to someone curious about or just starting in their field, etc.

      I've found that people who are passionate about their jobs/careers often love to talk about how they got to where they are and what they wish they had known earlier along their career journey. Heck, most people enjoy talking about themselves in general, so don't be shy! I did this with a couple of friends' parents when I was trying to decide what to major in in college/university, and more informally along my early career trajectory with others I met, and it has been a huge help. One of the people I talked to even helped me realize how flexible a degree program I was considering could be, and she was absolutely right! And who knows--you may even meet someone who turns out to be a great mentor.

      Picking a career path is intimidating, but it's a path, not a label you're stuck with the rest of your life! Even if you take a job that isn't a good fit for you, it can teach you more about your strengths/weaknesses and what growth areas interest you. When you come to a fork in the road of your career path--you learn about a promotion opportunity, see a job posting at another company, or even just have a conversation with your manager at your current job--you'll have the opportunity to make decisions that could help you find a role that's a better fit for you (or even re-shape your existing role to fit your strengths and passions better). Learning about other people's careers--especially the choices they made and what came of them--can be a huge help as you walk down your own career path.

      Best wishes for your journey! It's completely normal to be uncertain in making big career decisions, but you got this!

      (EDIT: minor rephrase)

  • The first thing to consider is: can you afford the luxury of picking something you like?

    In an ideal world we get the job we want, we have fun doing it, nice colleagues, etc.. This may not be true for you. You can pick a job you don't particularly like, if the job market seems good, use that to just afford living and go from there. That makes it somewhat easy, because you're no longer picking something that's "nice" you're optimizing working conditions: working times, union coverage, how long the education takes, vs. how much it pays. Maybe you find that working in a sewage plant or being a plumber isn't nice, but way better than doing a public facing customer service job. Or working your ass off in academia, 60 hours a week, with the reward of a wet handshake, a mention in a paper that's cited 5 times that your supervisor uses to boost their standing but not yours and a two year timer on job stability.

    I can’t picture myself in 5/10 years from now and can’t even imagine what type of job I’d love, bc everything seems out fo reach and impossible, just like it felt when I was 20.

    I’m afraid of wasting time bc of my age

    Besides the job, what do you even want? And that question is hard and some people don't find the answer for decades, so don't stress over it. Sometimes it takes a decade of life experience to come to an "obvious" conclusion. The trick is that the ten years aren't "wasted", they are *necessary" to give you the context to understand what you want.

    We are generally limited in the time we have, but it's only really urgent in three aspects: if you are terminally ill, you are becoming old or disabled and physically can't do certain things and family planning. If you know you want kids, make a plan for 10 years into the future. That's important because the requirements around kids are completely different than without. I don't think traveling with toddlers is smart, kids are expensive, they will eat your time and attention. If you want to get something bigger done, consider doing it before having kids, or your kids making you choose them instead of your "dream". Which can be bad, because you never ever want to think that you could have done X if only you didn't have kids. That's a regret that poisons a lot of things.

    Anyway, YOU still have plenty of time. At least 10 years, probably 20, until you even have to start worrying about anything.

    Do you care for art, people, technology, animals? Sitting on a couch? Sports? Cooking? Baking? Culture? Anything?

    If nothing particular jumps at you, it's totally fine to browse e.g. movies, technology, memes, comics, music, literature, or to travel until you find something that strikes you. Like, do you even know what's out there? How are you supposed to pick something you like if you haven't seen anything?

    Society throws a lot of things at you that you are supposed to care about and supposed to do, but you have to actually explore and decide if those things are actually for you, or if you just believe or do them because everyone you know does them or talks about them.

    I recommend writing a diary or taking notes on this. Revisiting your old thoughts can be difficult and it's easier to organize your thoughts on paper.

    Personally, I finished a technical education, worked in a few projects and even finished a few things I didn't like to test out what I didn't like and want to avoid. E.g. I worked in a city I didn't live in, commuted 3 hours one way every other weekend, lived in conditions I didn't like... It wasn't nice in the moment, but now I know what to avoid.

    Final note: statistics say you are not alone. The opposite in fact, lots of young people go through the same issues. So maybe that's comforting, idk.

75 comments