Chinese dynasties and periods of history as Simpsons jokes

Explanation:

Xia: Traditionally the earliest dynasty attested in the histories but not really supported by archeological findings, so likely to be legendary

Shang: First Dynasty supported by archeological findings, many of which is in the form of Oracle bones, proto-chinese characters carved onto animal bones

Zhou: the second part of the zhou is characterized by a collapse in central authority but also the development of much of Chinese Philosophy, Confucianism, Legalism and Taoism all had their beginnings there

Warring States: States warred, and eliminated each other

Qin; First Imperial dynasty over a unified China that was able to do so with the adoption of Legalism which entailed harsh laws and punishment

Han: First "real" dynasty, the Qin lasted like only 30 years, Standardized Chinese Characters and Expanded China

Three Kingdoms: fun novel

Jin: the Jin were associated with a collapse in central authority (get used to this), in this period non-Chinese "Barbarians" were able to migrate and invade into China Proper

16 Kingdoms: Shit gets further fucked

Tang: Idk about this actually, alcohol was around for way longer than the Tang, Maybe its because the Tang are the stereotypical "Fun" Dynasty with more liberal cultural values in comparison to what came before and after

Song: Paper currency invented

Yuan: I for one welcome out new mongol overlords

Ming: Sea Ban, isolationism

Qing: Last dynasty, fucked up and got all eaten up by the euros and japanese

Taiping: "Jesus Christ is my bro, bro"

Permanently Deleted

this is so good lmao. Simpsons memes are the most versatile genre of meme and this proves it

Death to America

This is so niche and yet so good.

I'm not going to take this Tang slander sitting down (also where's the Sui????). In many ways it was China's golden age: best poetry perhaps in world history, incredible multiculturalism with the empire extending all the way to Central Asia, the introduction of Buddhism to China, the legendary An Lushan rebellion and subsequent Uyghur hegemony, the destruction of the Great Families which laid the foundation for the more bureaucratic and ostensibly meritocratic Song, the introduction and spread of tea across China, the beginnings of settling the South and the introduction of modern rice varietals from Vietnam, the codification of the traditional Chinese instrument menagerie by importing instruments and musical styles from Central Asia... I really don't even know why the Tang dynasty panel is about alcohol at all. Alcohol didn't have some sort of outsized role in the Tang compared to other dynasties. Is it because during the Tang the most popular alcoholic drink in China, baijiu, was created?

Chinese history is so cool

What is the current dynasty?
Are Deng and Mao in the same one?

my favorite dynasty is the Qing, but I'm really getting into Xi Xia these days. their art and caligraphy is so beautiful.

I do not know anything about the Chinese dynasties, but I really appreciate the effort put into this.