key @ key @lemmy.keychat.org

Posts

25

Comments

980

Joined

2 yr. ago

I wish to no longer receive text messages from various numbers about Ohio politics

Pride unit rule

I wish my body to be in peak human shape no matter what I do

I wish my deck to be freshly cleaned and the fence painted

What's the reason for high refresh rates?

SLPT: in a rush after a snowstorm? Skip brushing your car off by simply driving fast! The air will brush your car off for you.

Who is a fictional character you most identified with?

SLPT: Stage a horrific death scene caused by a conventional household appliance. This will enable you to sue the manufacturers for millions of dollars for causing your death!

SLPT: Experience world travel without needing to get off your couch by buying travel miles from your favorite airline!

SLPT: Striking out on tinder? Use AI to make you look attractive and give you the profile of someone with an actual personality.

SLPT It's Friday! Remember to Fry your enemies today!

<SLPT> You can know which side of the gas pump to use by looking at the side of your car

AOL(emmy)

SLPT: Win your next boxing match by slathering your gloves in raw eggs and chicken so your opponent will get salmonella and have to surrender the fight.

SLPT: Remember to do that thing before it's too late!

SLPT: Sign up to Threads for all the hot new tips on knitting and crochet!

SLPT Unable to buy the fun fireworks in your state? Make your own by attaching a cardboard tube full of glitter, minerals, and gunpowder to a model rocket.

SLPT Mortgage too expensive? Build an ugly wall around your house. Then charge your neighbors rent for the right to look at your house. The more they pay, the more fence you remove!

SLPT Have a flathead screw but only a phillips screwdriver? Bypass the incompatability by using superglue to attach the screwdriver! In no time you'll be able to turn off the screw.

SLPT Augment your country's military with massive private military companies. You can arm and train them even better than your regular army because their loyalty is unswayable.