Shitty Life Pro Tip
- SLPT: No wine glass? Jam a bundle of uncooked spaghetti into the bottle.
Make sure they stick out a bit on the top. The capillary acton from the tightly packed spahetti draws the wine up so you can drink it.
- If you're constipated and happen to have a vagina, you can press the back wall of your vagina with your thumb and squeeze the poop out like squeezing a tube of toothpaste.
Going literally shitty on this one. This will probably also be a decent survey of lemmy's demographics; every man I've shared this with reacts in abject terror while all the women who didn't know you can do this look like a divine revelation had struck them. 🤣
- SLPT: You can make like 30-50% of your social circle think you're psychic (or just weirdly smart) by asking them to think of a number 1-10 and asking if it's 7.
Helps if they
're not huge nerds who spend all their time talking about the true definition of randomness and/or already have a number they consider the sexiesthave reduced STEM knowledge overall, somewhat irrespective of other intelligences. - SLPT: Before taking what you think is the biggest shit of your life in the restroom of someone you barely know, make yourself a favor and flush the toilet once to make sure it is functional.
It's a good tip, but shitty.
This just happened to me in the guest bathroom of someone I barely knew. The bathroom was meters away from the meeting.
Never. Again.
- SLPT: in a rush after a snowstorm? Skip brushing your car off by simply driving fast! The air will brush your car off for you.
This can also save you shoveling/plowing your driveway, simply drive over the accumulated snow at high speed. Make sure to avoid getting stuck however.
- SLPT: Experience world travel without needing to get off your couch by buying travel miles from your favorite airline!
It only takes 25k miles to circumnavigate the world. No passport required!
- SLPT: Striking out on tinder? Use AI to make you look attractive and give you the profile of someone with an actual personality.
Before your first date go to an MMA dojo and insult anyone walking out so you have a cover for why you aren't like your profile.
- SLPT If you want to help the working class, defend all politians as much as you can even when they go against everything you once fought for, that is how we get power
Post that doesn't makes sense.
Peter Daou @peterdaou
"Don't suck up to politicians, make them work for you." 5:03 AM · Aug 1, 2023
- SLPT: When biking in a city, ride in the middle of the road with noise cancelling headphones on at a leisurely speed.
Nothing can go wrong here, everyone will happily wave to you as well! The one finger thing is just a weird custom, don't worry about it!
- Do you hate those long business meetings? Add a couple of gameplay videos to stimulate you to wait until the end!
It works for TikTok, will work for you too!
