Real shit, how would you respond to waking up and zombies being a thing that happened overnight?

I would probably have to read a text from my employer saying I need to come in to work regardless.

oof, ouch. That rings true.

I'd still just take the dog for a dang walk and collect myself afterwards.

Brave, I would be scared of how the dog and zeds might interact

Zombies are the mental representation of mob uprising in the minds of the bourgeoisie.

So, my first question would be: why am I seeing zombies instead of revolutionaries?

Does that mean I am part of the bourgeois class? Do I secretly manifest some bourgeois mindset that even I am unaware of?

Then, I will close my eyes, pray hard to Marx and Engels to repent my sins and ask them to let me in to join the proletariat side.

After reciting various passages of Das Kapital as if they were Bible verses (years of studying theory prepared me for this moment), I will open my eyes every so often and check if I still see zombies. If not, keep repeating until I no longer see zombies, but revolutionaries.

Then, and only then, it is time to gear up and join them. This is the moment I have been waiting for my whole life. You have nothing to lose but your chains!

Rrrrr... chaaaaiiiiins.
Send... more... bourgeois...

join the horde obviously

She-ra time-
damn it theres no zombies in she-ra
but can i get dibs on a cop
As a quisling or actually just be like “time to get bit”?
- It's a bourgeois horror that befalls landowners, it's the ravenous immigrants and the mindless poor.
  I'm joining the zombie revolt and you should too

fill all containers with water, fasten plywood overall egresses, eat everything in the fridge/freezer, flip breaker service disconnect and gas shut off, relocate into attic with homemade periscopes, dry goods, batteries, and blankets.

Initiate Void Protocol

journal my descent into madness

journal my descent into madness
Came here to say this, gotta do the Resident Evil thing and leave journals everywhere

CPUSA starting a “not actively rotting Caucus”

Put on roller skates and as much padding as possible so I can be the super zombie

Roller sport badass would definitely survive
- No I'm gonna get bit and then be extremely hard to take down.

Drink my piss for less than recreational purposes

I would construct an elaborate set of puzzles and traps inside my home consisting of locked doors and sliding blocks that produce keys

I'd probably be mildly excited to have a break from the usual monotony of capitalist wage labor. No more schedules for me, time to barricade my front door and make body armor out of saucepans

If you're just trying to protect against bites I bet a couple layers of say, denim would do just fine. Human teeth aren't very powerful.
Don't forget to cover your neck. They always neglect the neck in movies!
- no, i am going to cosplay ned kelly

I would tell them they are violating the NAP.

When I was a kid in the midst of the whole "zombie apocalypse" trend in media with the Walking Dead and so forth, I drafted a zombie apocalypse survival strategy. This strategy involved going to the Bolærne Islands, presumably by driving through the countryside to somewhere on the eastern shore of the Oslo Fjord, then taking a boat to Bolærne.

My idea was to build a self-sufficient society with collective ownership of resources, governed by a system of decentralization, whereby each of the three islands would govern themselves by consensus, and would directly elect a representative who could be recalled at any point, to a council of leaders to make decisions concerning the archipelago as a whole. The citizenry would be united in pride, and identified to others and themselves, by a symbol under which they could rally: a vertical tricolor of green-red-white, centered in each stripe a five pointed star, two white, the flymost red.

"Heh, kind of funny to use a red star, makes this place look like some sort of commie thing, lol", I said to myself.

My logic was that, firstly, zombies can't swim, and Bolærne would be easier to defend due to its military history; secondly, the location of Bolærne would allow this "republic" to be a vital trading outpost for all survivors in the Oslo Fjord region, thereby guaranteeing Bolærne has a high amount of regional influence among survivor factions, and a high degree of independence due to its self-sufficiency; and thirdly, this system of collective ownership and decentralized governance would have the greatests chances of distributing scarce resources fairly in a way that would maximize comfort, survival, peace, and democracy, particularly as writing down legal documents might be difficult with a presumed paper shortage and lack of electricity.

In those days I didn't know what a "commune" was. I'd heard the word "communism" but only associated it with "no food 100 billion dead". I sincerely believed that this would only be a temporary step, with the ultimate goal of restoring society "back to normal".

Make a rudimentary ghillie suit and then head toward the nearest military base to scavenge

Then after weeks of preparation, head to Langley to acquire state secrets for historical preservation and the names and addresses of certain individuals who committed crimes against socialism in the old world

Probably head to Mount Weather next, to see if I can pick up their trail before I start scouring addresses around the country and begin hunting

Either way zombies will be the least of their worries

Die, probably!

Me when a sudden upheaval removes the burden of society's expectations from me

Download as much literature as possible until the internet knocks out, while also charging up the large portable batteries.

Then I try to kill cops, steal their guns, and steal more shit

i will not last a day

Die, or if they are shaun of the dead zombies just wait a bit and continue life as normal

wdym? Fast zombies are killers, but by Shaun do you mean slow in general?
- nah we'll just go down to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint and wait for all this to blow over
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6htT-aVJup4
- Personally i think any fast zombies like the last of us or 30 days later are 100% chance of human extinction even with a miracle cure.
  I dont think any industrial country would lose to the classic slow zombies, and i think shaun of the dead is the perfect example of how it would go, like 1-2 weeks of terror and then everything would just go to a close normal

Step 0: acquire guns. Not bad advice tbh

My place is in a very bad zombie survival position, so I’d probably start driving to my uncles place since it’s got a fence at least

Be petty AF and hope that a few people i dont care for got it.

get bitten (as a bit, of course)

aggressively post on hexbear as i become less and less coherent and everyone accuses me of being a BMF alt

I live in the arse end of nowhere, so...

Self isolate, and wait for it to blow over I guess.

I got an uncle with some property in West Virginia, and I bought some of those survival buckets from Costco so I'd probably throw those and my 9mm and crossbow in my RAV4 and try and take backroads out there.

I wouldnt get the fucking jab thats for sure

getting a gun and stealing a yatch and then become a pirate. i would survive off of what i loot in ships and dock on an uninhabited island, and maybe start a floating city. this is all assuming zombies cant swim.

I'd probably go back to bed because I'm clearly still dreaming. If that doesn't work then I'd probably just take my guns and archery stuff and barricade myself in my large windowless shop that only has one door, is sound proof, and made of steel and get some sleep in there.

If I wake up and the zombies are still real then at least I can probably drill some peep holes in the walls and fashion something that resembles a sword or a halberd or something. Maybe something like a riot shield? I do have a fairly decent airgun and that's pretty quiet and allegedly strong enough to hunt deer with so I might be set without having to actually build weapons.

I have plenty of animal traps and water filters and I live quite close to a forest with running water going through it so I won't be getting hungry or thirsty anytime soon.

Join the effort to find a cure if I can.