I'm lucky enough to have stuck with the same employer for almost a decade. Reading the non-insane fragments of resume made my skin crawl. I hate it. I hate everything about how self-aggrandizing you have to be, I hate the phraseology, everything about this is antethical to the way humans communicate. Also this MF listed "avid skier" as if a hiring manager would give a fuck lmao
Surprisingly ChatGPT is great at making a resume sound better if you give it specific commands. It's great at the corporate speak and self-aggrandizing shit that I cringe too hard to properly write.
Oh absolutely! My girlfriend and some friends have done that. It's awesome at generating corpo-speak. And of course the hiring manager will feed all of the AI generated resumes into an AI which will scan them to determine the best candidates. We will achieve AI to AI communication, and everything will be utterly distinct from the actual needs of the position. It will be pure HR lingo, iterating on itself forever
"Avid Skier" is code for "I come from money"
listed "avid skier" as if a hiring manager would give a fuck lmao
we once hired a Frenchman whose resume read:
PERSONAL
Sport (Basketball for 10 years), Reading (mainly French literature), Piano (started to impress a girl, now I’m pretty good)dudes rock
It makes it nigh impossible for people with low self-esteem to get work---regardless of talent.
Men will literally put their sperm count on their resume rather than go to therapy.
I only hire breedable pedigree legacies and their nepo-kin.shit, i'm getting hung up on the
- Designed a model to optimize classroom scheduling for an education operator with 42 [obscured] utilization by 10%
is he really bragging about how to fit 42 students in a classroom? or is it worse, somehow?
that sounds about right, yeah. I mean even when I was in school it was edging up into the 30s, at a pretty decent school.
But the bit about utilization and scheduling makes me think it's also probably about scheduling things so that they can hot-desk all the teachers around and decrease their prep time by 10% (aka "increasing utilization" because these ghouls think teachers are only doing anything when they're physically in front of children). Or it could be something about the hot-desk arrangement where they're increasing the utilization of the available classrooms by 10%.
I don't think the next letter is "s" (I think it's a small letter with a straight line on the left side like m, n, p, or r), so it isn't "42 students," and I think an "education operator" is probably a company that runs a private school (or chain of private schools) or something. 42 rooms, maybe?
Permanently Deleted
Damn
I'd bet money this has actually happened at least once tho. At least something similar has.
Now I know why my résumés keep getting rejected!
Only 800 million? That's not even a quickie.
When guys try to take the manosphere offline
But is the sprm vaxxed or unvaxxed?
That's it, I'm going back in time to [redacted] everyone involved in the creation of the American Psycho movie.
Just show them this and they'll probably redact themselves.
Show up butt-ass naked in the past, Terminator style
"So, you see, in the future there's this thing called Twitter and..."
Ok what if they started doing sperm races like they make an obstacle course for the sperms and then the one who gets the job is the one whose sperm completes the rat maze first. ✅ Sexist ✅Transphobic ✅ Petty and bizarre ✅The monkey NFT people need something new to occupy their time ✅High barrier to entry because you need sperm performance enhancing drugs AND drugs to hide your sperm performance enhancing drugs ✅High potential for workplace harassment ✅Gives CEO's a chance to wank as a tax write-off ✅"Yes of course I'm working honey, I'm preparing my resume" ✅Weird "genetic superiority" complex accessible ✅Supports return-to-office corporate real estate investments because you can't race sperms over zoom ✅A sperm race in a rat maze, they can call it the Rat Race ™️
What this company needs most is someone who can produce thick, dense loads to do sales.
I have never seen anyone other than road cyclists care about VO2Max, who else is out there?
Skiers?
Critical çare physicians, anesthesiologists
Lol
lmao but yeah
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
"Wait, i gotta take all this tac gear off and make a poopie."