Does this represent your weekend?

My last therapist said "ADHD is the smoke, the fire is usually trauma or autism."

Turns out I have both. Welp, middle-age is as good as any time to start reconciling that your entire life has been a constant struggle to keep a mask on and nearly every crisis I've dealt with might not have been a moral failing on my part but actually a dysfunction of some executive control from masking for so long and hiding my own PTSD.

Whichever you got going on in there, I highly recommend working on the basics. Get more sleep. Make better separation between work and leisure time. Eat better and hydrate better. Try to reduce caffeine and other self-medications. Stop drinking entirely. Get some daily exercise even if it's just a light walk, particularly after work/class, it really, really helps your brain create healthier separations between work/chores (survival) and rest (loafing and relaxing, playing games, watching media.)

The other thing I want to scream at everyone from the rooftops, no matter what your exact mental-health issue is, this is universal:

Your brain is not a reasonable, rational calculator of logic, it is a story-telling machine designed to tell you stories to explain what you're feeling in order to create some sense of cohesion with the world.

And that's it, that's all it does, all day long. The stories do not have to make sense, it doesn't have to be reasonable, and you will often think the stories are accurate because they come from your own mind, you will add to the stories, you will roll them over in your brain over and over, feeling worse and worse, hating others, hating yourself, despairing for no outside reason... it's like being enslaved to your own brain. Learn to identify when you start feeling strong feelings, and watch your brain very carefully, be aware of the way your brain will start ruminating as soon as you feel a negative feeling. If you can nip it right there, if you can break the rumination cycle, you will realize that your own brain is just sabotaging you from the inside and all the stories you tell yourself are fantasies or exaggerations of reality. It might not cure your mental health, but it will give you your days back, it will give you time and energy to fight it harder and more intelligently. You are not your brain. Your brain is not logical.