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Comic Strips @lemmy.world

Dunkan2 @lemmy.world

4mo ago

Water into Wine

76 comments

This seems like a XKCD / Randall Munroe "What if" kind of question. I.e., how long would a person survive if all of the water inside them was turned into wine?
- A quick search suggests that blood is 80% water. Turning that into wine at a weak concentration of 5.5% results in around at 14.5% BAC which is over 10 times greater than the highest ever recorded, so it would be certainly lethal.
  
  Wine is 80-90% water, but all that alcohol and other flavor compounds directly in your bloodstream would not be good.
  
  Yeah, but how long before I croak?!?!? I need to know now!
  
  You somehow didn't answer the question, and the thing you said instead is completely obvious to anyone.
  If there's a cousin of Jesus that turns people's brains into porridge, you've certainly been on the receiving end of that power.
- Wine is 15% alcohol.
  Human are 60% water.
  Human weight around 70kg
  70 x 0.6 = 42 L
  42 x 0.15 = 6.3 L of pure alcohol.
  You'd probably die before ingesting that amount tho
- Probably 0.00 seconds.
  
  That's what I'm talking about. OK then.
- What if all the water turned to wine at 1 standard drink per hour
- Seconds as wine amd water do not have the same consistency. Your blood cells won't move effectively enough and a BAC of 6% is extremely fatal as most will die at .6%

Can Jesus turn the water in wine into wine?
- Jesus invented brandy.
  
  Wait, is that what brandy is?

Better quality version:

Source: Instagram
- People have said the fact is derived from experiment done on live human subjects by the WW2 Japanese torture unit, Unit 731.
  
  I don't believe you can figure out the water content of a living human. And if you can, I don't want to know how.
  You could just weigh a mummified body instead, figure out how much a living person of the same sex and height would weigh, and the difference would be water. (Not accounting for the internal organs that were removed during mummification).
  
  For anyone not aware of them, there's a rather intense set of Behind the Bastards podcast about it.
  Truly grim.

Wine is 80-90% water. So that can be turned into wine with a wine base. And so forth. What is the end result?

kind of a dick move to leave your friend in a wheelchair when you're jesus

Reminds me of when someone made the same observation in Avatar: the Last Airbender about waterbenders.
(Except in that one, the observation wasn’t from online comedians - it was a fridge horror episode in the show)
- The show directly addressed this with blood bending, maybe not as viscerally as I've seen online but it definitely did. Like if water benders can build enormous ice walls they're definitely the most dangerous benders in Avatar. They could absolutely rip a person's soft tissues off their bones if they tried. It's just seen as so morally wrong that few benders even think about it. Like how we generally view mutilating a body in our societies or other strong taboos.
  
  Earth benders can do the same with the iron in blood
  Air benders can blow up your lungs
  Firebenders can remove the heat from your body or boil your blood
  
  Which makes no sense considering there's a war going on. The fire nation goes around burning ppl alive. The last thing I would care about is the moral high road when my opponent genocided a bunch of monks.
- Also reminds me of the lactokinetic in Misfits. He appeared harmless, but if you had consumed any dairy products that were still in your body, he could kill you instantly.
- Book spoiler; go read the books. Bending has less of the kid friendly filter
  
  The Rise of Kyoshi is a masterpiece.

I bet it would take a long time for that body to rot.
- You should see the guy his brother killed, turned the water into brandy.

woah Jesus is a water bender??

This is actually (spoilers for terrible movie Scales: Mermaids Are Real) the climax of the movie Scales. Mermaids can control water and their blood heals people in that movie, so hunters are trying to get their blood and then one guy tries a last ditch bad guy move and the main character pulls all the water out of his body and he horrifically melts.
Kind of made me side with the hunters at that point it's a horrifying power.

- Replace the lead with microplastics

Miss when superheroes had vague wording in their powers, leap great distances could scale up and down , mean anything
- So you're nostalgic for the Golden age? How old are you?
  
  thats just most of what they had in the library growing up, 25 lol

Shame all his enemies are demon type who are immune to blood attacks, of course he can perform the cleansing ritual that has advantage against demon types casting possess so he isn't completely useless it's still a waste of a spell slot.

I didn't see that coming. Nice surprise at the end.

To be fair, if he is good at his powers, he can probably turn just enough to have the person pass out without alcohol poisoning.

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1t4rsf I think the author watched this
- I'm happy someone else thought of the same vid!

Never been impressed by the "water to wine" miracle.
My S/O can turn anything into whine.
- Did you have to help a chicken cross the road making that joke?

I can also give you an army of Aquaman, how cool is that?
(don't hurt me if I made an unholy crossover, I have no idea which heroes belong to which universe)
- Indeed Professor X is Marvel, Aquaman is DC, and Jesus is New Testament Comics. There are arguments over ownership of some NT characters though, it's complicated.
  
  Jesus existed in DC comics and Marvel as both have Christmas as a holiday.
  Then theres this:
  https://dc.fandom.com/wiki/Jesus_of_Nazareth_(New_Earth) https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Jesus_Christ

I thought we are 70% water
- Now we're at least 10% plastic, so that drove the other numbers down.

So if wine is between 80-90% water anyway, doesn't seem that impressive.
- 6% blood alcohol content is still pretty much lethal
  
  Maybe he just has ABS
- Turn the water in the wine into wine

If you could control the percentage and get rid of those pesky wine parts, this would be a damn useful power, kill, incapacitate or make drunk depending on BAC.
Excellent against superheroes, most of them are lightweight tea totals, although a mean drunk Superman would be a bad day. Might be tricky to judge the level with the Supes from The Boys though...

I'd lead with the whole resurrection thing.

76 comments