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RPGMemes @ttrpg.network

PugJesus @lemmy.world

4w ago

New armor just dropped

30 comments

A friend showed me once a video of someone building fireproof armor out of a pineapple.
In an alternate universe, Byzantium conquered half the world, and the other half is fending off greek fire using pineapple shields.

hopefully pineapple can get at least honorary pizza topping status for this so this bullshit debate can end already
- Agreed, but only the part that can withstand the iron ball, so you all have to start putting pineapple skin on your pizzas.
  
  Still acidic, adds some chew and good fiber?
  Bring it.
- If you are an adventurer, the one trick to avoiding being eaten by a dragon is to wear a pineapple hat, dough shoes, tomato pants and a cheese shirt. Dragons are known to be quite the gatekeeper, and will refuse to eat the pineapple pizza adventurer.
  Same goes if you have cheese undergarments, dough pants and a tomato hat as a Chicago style adventurer
  
  Risky move if you're taking on an Ice Dragon... it might be Canadian. We love our pineapple pizza.
- I enjoy an occasional Hawaiian pizza.

“And the Pineapple Knight did slew the fire-breathing dragon.”
- "And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu—"
  
  "Skip a bit, Brother."

Sauce: https://x.com/WomaninRedx/status/1790903290131079661
Also, don't do pineapple armour, kids; this happens due to a Leidenfrost effect. The ball is hot enough to instantly vapourise water from the skin, insulating it with a thin layer of vapour. A less hot ball would damage it more, and so would fire.

Oh yeah, pineapples have always been associated with toughness.

Probably doesn't work when it's dried out though.
- Keep it dry in your stuff and when you know a fire danger could be coming rehydrate it!
  
  Now I need a paladin multiclass with pineapple rind plate armor, and a class that knows Create Water at level 1...

And the pineapple armor works wonderfully, until its enzymes digest you enough that the line between knight and pineapple becomes unclear, like Leto Atreides II covering himself in Sand Worm Trout and becoming the God Emperor of Dune.
- Okay but this could be the lore for a Dark Souls NPC
  
  You've seen onion armour, now fight the pineapple boss!
- So if I wear pineapple armor I become a God Emperor?

I mean… If you showed this to a medieval peasant and told them it was dragon hide, they might actually believe you.

RHNB https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLgNjCSGFfYetqrZxlYiU8yWaBs-XMmdqg
- Thanks for the source!

https://youtu.be/YD8VNZwN1mM?si=s25aW8HY8XZ_RYwj
- Oh man thanks for reminding me AG exists! They're amazing!

Why was the pineapple discarded?
- They didn't have any pizza to put it on.
  
  Roll initiative.

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