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Cyanide and Happiness @lemm.ee

MrSebSin @sh.itjust.works

7mo ago

21 October 2024

38 comments

I don't know, can you?
- I, too, saw that other comic.

Would the foetus be undead and count as a still birth?
- Someone call the republicans, we have an abortion in progress.
  
  "What has this country come to when women are MURDERING their half-vampire babies!?!"

Wow, I didn’t know the words I’ve said were so spooky.
- Context matters. 🤭

Affirmative consent enforced by vampirism

Is this a storyboard from True Blood?
- Sookeeeeeehh~ 🧛‍♂️

Aren't vampires considered undead? Lacks any blood in their system? How would they produce a boner?
- Clearly by drinking the blood of others to fuel their boners. You thought vampires needed blood to live? No, they need it to smash.
  ^yo ^mamma
- The trick is to have a boner when you turn into a vampire. That shit will never go down again
- Depends on lore. Classical? No boner. World of Darkness Vampire? Yes... Sort of, you can "spend" blood in order to revive human functionality including a boner.
  
  Buffy the vampire slayer? "I can fix them"
  
  WoD vamps don't really enjoy sex, though. Except Jeannette, but she's explicitly insane. They can do it, but they don't really get anything out of it, except for an opportunity to feed.
- In some versions of the lore they constantly have a boner at all times

Is that actually a standard vampire rule? I honestly thought that was something Adventure Time made up.
- It is a very old thing, actually!
  
  Yes, without permission it’s vampiric assault, a serious crime. Victims are coming forward more and more since the #Vtoo movement
- I don't know if you can call anything to do with fictional beings "standard". All of it is subject to interpretation and the whims of the storyteller.
  That said, while it tends to be absent from modern lore, it's a very old rule as the other commenter said.
  
  Depends on what you consider modern. It's still there in The Lost Boys.
  
  I don’t know if you can call anything to do with fictional beings “standard”.
  By "standard" I was meaning a well established trope. I was under the impression that Adventure Time was the origin.
- In American lore, they also have arithmomania, where they compulsively have to count things. So you'd throw some straw behind you to escape the vampire because it would have to stop and count the straw that you threw. That's why The Count in Sesame Street is a Vampire who likes counting things.
- Yes. If you read Dracula, Dr Van Hellsing explains all this and many other interesting things...
- All part of the narrative that a vampire will seduce you, because without you inviting it in then it can’t.
  Adventure Time just riffs on it

Can you use garlic as a contraceptive in this case?
- Stuff it up in there like you’re making a roast.

Blow a nut in that gut, then drink some wine and eat some chicken!

38 comments