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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns @hexbear.net
AshenWolf [she/her] @hexbear.net

Trans Megathread from February 3rd, 2024 to February 9th, 2024

Hi everybody! My schedule has been really unforgiving, so I may or may not end up writing something and making changes to the post later in the week.

Regardless, I hope you all have a good week!

Join our public Matrix server!

https://matrix.to//#/tracha-space:transfem.dev

https://rentry.co/tracha#tracha-rooms

As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.

Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.

Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.

286 comments

  • hi, does anyone wanna make the mega in the upcoming weeks? if so, reply to this post and i'll add you to the list!

    the list as it stands: 

     undefined
            GayTuckerCarlson* (2/10 - 2/16)
    oscardejarjayes* (2/17 - 2/23)
    EstraDoll (2/24 - 3/2)
    Eco* (3/3 - 3/9)

    ​ * after name denotes someone who has posted before and will be skipped by first-time posters

  • I'm waking up at 5am on Monday to drive two hours to get a nice cassette player/recorder that actually records in stereo to make a Valentine's mixtape for my partner. The things I do for love

  • I want to be friends with cis lesbians who can teach me how to be like them. I was in contact with two classmates who are cis lesbians but now that class is over I have no contact with them and we sadly didn't become friends.

    *Trans lesbians who are far along in their transition are okay too.

  • I read Silence, I liked it, it was interesting. I came away wondering about self-sacrifice. Martyrdom is a constant theme (they're dealing with pretty intense suppression of Japanese Christianity in the 1600s), it's something we see people go through and Roderigues own thoughts evolve on.

    It's never easy when your fate is held in someone elses hands but I do wonder if it's easier to die for your beliefs or to live for them.

    ::: spoiler spoiler, actual spoilers lol Rodrigues has to commit apostaty by stepping on an image of Christ. The meaning in the act is drained as much as possible by the Japanese magistrate, they reassure everyone that stepping on the fumie is just a formality and they will not and can not stop them from believing regardless - later we find out apostate Japanese are tortured until Roderigues regents. But the act on stepping on the image of Christ is so tied up in Roderigues world view that he still imbues it with intense symbolic meaning. He is told this will be the most painful act of love he will commit in his life, and it probably is.

    He came to Japan with Garrp, another priest, who also can't bring himself to commit apostasy and swims out to the ocean trying to save some tortured Christians before drowning. He was willing to die for his beliefs. But the torture didn't stop, it only did with Roderigues who was willing to live for them. Years later he still provides absolution (the catholic penitence right) to a recurring character, and in real life the church survived and there are still Christians practicing openly in Japan today. :::

    It made me think if there's some critical moment in my life, some disaster, there are things I'd be willing to die for. But choosing self sacrifice and having to live with it, for years and decades, that might be harder.

  • How do you even meet other trans people IRL? I guess there are places where they meet or whatever, but I am too afraid of everything to go to an unfamiliar place somewhere alone to meet with people I never seen before.

    • I met some trans people through leftist/activist groups and sometimes I go to radical queer meetups.

      If you can find any kind of meetup that matches your vibe a bit I think it is very much worth the anxiety and stress to go. Being trans can be such a lonely experience and it feels really nice to meet other people who are going through it too.

      The best way would be to ask some queer/trans person in your vicinity if they know some kind of meetup group because then you already know 1 person.

      • I do know (sort of, we have talked a few times, we are not really friends) an openly queer person IRL, good point. (Only exactly 1 person. I truly lack social skills and I don't know many people in general.) But how would I ask that question without being inappropriate? In a world with so much hatred towards queer people, it sounds like a really bad idea for me (not openly queer) to just walk up to this person (openly queer) and be like "Hey, you're non-binary, right? I am trans, can you tell me about any trans meetups?"

        Maybe it's irrational, but I kinda worry about being seen as an imposter

    • i met my trans gf on Lex, some other trans friends on Bumble for Friends and have made other rl trans friends through these initial online friends.

      lex got bought and is kind of shitty now but it's still, at least by me, super queer and active daily so you'll see people post local events like meetups you can attend.

      I understand many of the local queer places advertise on instagram and facebook as well as you might try these platforms if you can stomach them.

      • Thanks, I bookmarked your post, maybe I'll ask you more details about these Bumble and Lex apps once I have the energy to figure that stuff out

        Are they available for desktop/web or only for phone? Do trans people on there tend to openly say that they are trans, or is that a bad idea?

    • Support groups and then friends of trans friends for me.

  • Weekly depression/anxiety post/cry for help incoming: (possible CW: stomach problems)

    Im still in the closet and living at home. I went to peer counseling one day last week and couldnt open up as much as I could when I went in October (I was more optimistic in October and now im completely hopeless, the place temporarily closed the week after and I could only do phonecalls between the two times). They recommended a few therapists I still havent called. Im in a near constant state of panic. I used to be able to chalk up my inability to go through with transitioning to my extreme anxiety, a male sexuality (when i imagine emotional “making love” sex im a female that gets held but then i get a boner and it all goes male) and concerns about wiping due to IBS and hemorrhoids. I wasnt happy but I was accepting. Then I Saw the TV Glow came out and idk im also a failed filmmaker and not only was the movie about my life, it also completely nailed the mood/setting/atmosphere of movies I wanted to make (my movies were silly genre fare tho). My friends even noticed how eerily similar it was and even in trailers it looked that way. I saw it in theaters five times. I uber for work and thats all Ive been doing for work for seven years. My parents are Liberals who would have hot n cold acceptance of me that ultimately went cold when I was younger and more able to tackle all this. My mom has apologized since (and my dad indicated he may be closeted himself which makes it way worse actually) but idk they did things like when I failed two classes freshman year of college they had an intervention telling me theyd be accepting (I wasnt ready I was a virgin and unfortunately didnt realize im trans until I was 14 and the only stereotype of trans people available in the late 2000s/early 2010s was “knew since I was 5”) but the next year I was ready and they threatened to kick me out. They would also always tell me I was doing it wrong and that people who transitioned in their 60s/70s were doing it right. It took Caitlyn Jenner media blitz for them to get accepting. I need to move out and estrange myself, Ive been open about this and theyre supportive/graceful about it. (Honestly it may be differing political views that motivates my decision a lot more, it feels like they never took my autism/anxiety seriously either and I just dont fit in with my family). Ive tried to apply to the post office but I sent in one application a few months ago and didnt notice a further quiz/assessment they sent me. Ive sent in another application but Im worried that not doing the second quiz/assessment blacklisted me. If I really lock in I can make $1050-1300 ubering 40ish hours a week. Theres always the constant risk of car accidents though. I dont know how I should go about getting my own place.

    Lately theres so many horror posts I see about new ways they find to fuck with us and Im in a constant state of panic. I just dont know what to do. People acted like the sky was falling during first Trump admin and that genocide was at our door any second. It scared me last time even though if I genuinely just tuned it out/pretended it didnt exist I wouldve been ok. It doesnt seem like thats the case this time. Im still 100% pre everything and I honestly need a much more robust irl support network. I just dont know what to do. Should I just stay in the closet even though Im really sad because its too dangerous? And if I do, how do I cope? What drugs should I take to tune it out? Im always sleepy so I need stims (been taking Adderall nearly every day for the past few years by buying it off a friend) I also really dont want to live as long as normal life expectancy probably even with transition. Im almost 34 now. Tbh 40 sounds like enough life.

  • Just finished changing my driver’s license. With little fanfare and much relief, all the state documents that I can change are done.

    We’ll see if my passport actually gets processed, and my state doesn’t allow sex marker changes, but that’s a fight for another day. So happy to have finally earned the F on all my documents.

    Death to Amerikkka and all its vassals.

  • A new razor blade really does make a difference. Doesn't hurt to shave nearly as much.

    (I still really need to start laser though, there's a section on my neck that just doesn't shave off 😖)

  • "I don't care enough to keep trying to fix this," she said before continuing to try and troubleshoot why her game mods weren't working for another hour.

  • Teleconferenced into my first meeting of a trans support group. It was mainly talking with a provider at a regional gender clinic for the process on getting care and approval for surgical treatment, so unfortunately didn't do any icebreakers or really "meet" anyone. I need to go in person at some point, but it's an hour drive.

    There's an in-person group this weekend however, which is only a 15 minute drive so I am excited for that.

286 comments