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Men are from Mars...
  • As a non-binary trans person I gotta say that lines up. A lot of women are not well equipped to intuit men's emotions as they are set behind a veneer of distance and a lot of men often aren't able to apply appropriate empathy to women because they don't afford them the same level of respect and attention as people who have that same veneer. So women get coded to men as over emotional and men often feel angry and isolated because women aren't trying particularly hard to empathize and there is a lot of times when their feelings are dismissed as not as important. Then everything becomes extra strained when anxieties about heterosexual extra partner sexual liasons means one gets separated from a general population into strictly people whom your partner feels you may safe being around.

    I am very lucky. I exist in an excellent personal community. The cis folk I am friends with are all friends across any concept of gender and there's other trans folk in my cohort which create additional inroads to understanding different experiences. We also don't specifically gender anything, nobody is ever teased for not living up to gendered expectations and discussions are frank and open. I only experience this anxious distance between the genders in groups of co-workers or at family functions.

  • Lemons(?) of Lemmy, what is something that feels so obvious to you that you just get lowkey pissed at the world for not knowing?
  • Conspiracies that require absolute lock tight secrecy to function at a basic level aren't generally tenable to be sustained for longer than a handful of years at a time at most. Somebody always fucks up or basically was just lucky nobody checked for awhile. The nessesity of any large scale collaboration creates inefficiencies and potential error points in the system. Even the best of the best spy agencies fuck up and get caught rather routinely, particularly when operating on their home soil. A lot of investigative journalists accidentally trip over stuff all the time but have good faith arrangements (or in some places laws) to not disclose the active manoeuvres of the state to the public.

    It's just really hard for humans in general to accept that events that effected them or things they care about very deeply personally weren't somehow also grand in design. Grocking sometimes it really is just random chance or stupid mishandling is not something we're well wired to handle. Stories of all powerful conspiracies masterminding the world scratch that itch... But logistically speaking the conspiracy aspect is completely unnecessary. If someone is trying to blame a nebulous bogeymen who exists as nameless, numberless ultimately wealthy but also totally off the books super spies.... chances are they are just trying to capitalize on making you feel flattered, smart and empowered by something "only you are smart enough to believe" - while feeding you bullshit they can personally profit from in some way with you none the wiser.

  • Utah's bathroom snitch line hasn't found one legitimate complaint out of 12,000
  • You are unlikely to if you aren't in Canada. It seems like Indigenous folk down in the States don't have quite as much success spreading widespread awareness. I produced some stuff and had to explain to a bunch of Americans what a land acknowledgement was. For the past 5 years where I am they are performed before any meeting or performance. Up here 2S gets top billing at the beginning of the LGBTQIA initnialism to give deference to gender categories that were suppressed by European supremacist colonization.

  • Vermont Republican secretly poured water into colleague’s bag over months
  • Yes you did do it right, lol...and pokemon is pronounced Po- kay (or like Quay) and the same mon as in monster.

    And I absolutely don't intend to put you on blast. It's just you can kind of look at language as a kind of technology. That tech can be used to spot minute differences to inform people of a lot of things... Trans people often have to live a little bit like spies in high risk situations so dogwhistles can actually be helpful technology to us assess an environment and risks. Muddying the water can actually make things harder.

    Like I for instance pass mostly as a cis person... though not in the way I would hope for. I am not physically transitioning for partner related reasons so while a lot of people can suspect I am some kind of queer they often falsely assume my gender and pronouns based on my body.

    Because I am always working with new people I basically take mental hits every all day at work that other people are entirely unaware of. It tends to absolutely wreck my self esteem and makes me feel really isolated...But it's sometimes safer than being "out". People who make a mistake because they don't know are trans are a lot easier to deal with then people who know and aren't adapting well. Like when someone is making a bunch of mistakes with my pronouns it brings way more attention to the fact their brains do not register me as my gender and they are undertaking an artificial process. When they undergo that process I have to work a little harder to teach, and let them know that I am okay, that I understand, reassure them they are doing fine... It takes a lot out of me to do. EVERYONE fucks up pronoun changes. Coming out and getting people used to me is work that I am gunna be doing over and over and over. If I am gunna have to do that I am gunna pick candidates who I know will be worth the personal effort of onboarding or who make my job easier who already have the playbook down and just haven't put it into practice.

    Currently I am out selectively only to people I judge as safe. How I judge rather people are safe are not is by how they comport themselves. What sort of language they use, how attentive they are when I use they/them pronouns when referring to friends of mine when trading stories, how they react to different conversational topics, what do they find funny and how willing they are to defer to someone else's needs... It could be veganism, or a religious practice done for comfort or making adjustments for a person with a disability, if you show that you are willing to make concessions or small behavioural changes because you value other people's comfort that's a MAJOR green flag.

    It sucks but I am literally running an active risk assessment of everyone I meet in a professional setting. I do this because even if they aren't actively bigoted they can make my life a hell.

    I had a boss who just wanted to debate trans talking points all the time while we could not leave our posts and I lived in constant fear he'd figure me out... because becoming his personal entrapped ambassador for a community he had zero understanding of was going to add way more patience and effort just to get through my day than any of my coworkers would be required to muster. I would likely lose my job because even if he was not intentionally mean dealing with being the subject of his intensified curiosity and questions that are generally invasive would drive me to either need to leave or do something that would get me fired.

    We trans folk are generally skittish of folk who take a little too much interest in us because of our transness. It's can be a lot of work to just get people to calm down, not be self conscious around us like you're scared doing of something wrong and not treat us as special. Just making us feel like comfortably normal people doing regular people things is a wonderful gift. In the case of your store based acquaintance it's generally safer to like compliment her clothes or jewelry or something. It's like saying "I think you're cool" without making her feel self conscious that people are staring at aspects herself that trigger that fear of being observed as something abnormal.

    So if it helps think of the adaptation as learning to speak trans safety code. If you are saying "trans people" in an office full of co-workers who use "transgenders" you are using language technology to fly your green flag in a sea of ambiguously checkered red. We'll spot you.

  • Vermont Republican secretly poured water into colleague’s bag over months
  • The thing about that... Is that whether or not something registers as cool or not generally needs to come from the group. As an example you could try to "take back" an n-slur from bigoted use ... but if that initiative isn't coming from the community to whom that term is levied you are basically just using an n-slur because you believe yourself entitled to use the slur for your own personal reasons.

    It's not just about sticking it to the Conservatives, it's about listening to the why that comes from a community that is often talked about rather than talked directly to... At best trans people who hear you are going to think you are out completely of touch like people who pronounce pokemon like "Poh-key-man"... Or that you cannot be counted on to listen, that you are a different kind if problem and you are someone to hide from being openly trans around if they can because it's ultimately safer than rolling the dice against whether you are a transphobe or not. Places (for example a work place) where terms like "transgenders" is openly used without challenge from other people is a message to us that that community is either not safe or at least very very ignorant... And that self advocating in that environment is going to be an uphill struggle of dealing with people who are convinced they know what's best for us more than we do...

  • The Christian right is coming for divorce next
  • The concept of the European style family is a tool of conservative control. When you create specific boundaries on what is considered kinship you create subjects of economic categories. If you get a bunch of kickbacks for playing by the rules then there are also people who are purposefully excluded from playing to create additional economic goads. Like if you are disowned from your family you can lose generational wealth and support which is designed to keep young people in line by way of fear . Welfare and social securities weakens the economic ties of the family politic control to make you reliant on the support of the people you are related to by blood and to keep people who might be your chosen family at a distance unable to help.

    So called "family values" aren't lovely dovey nice things. They are to make being an individual with different needs a failure state.

  • Stonehenge Sprayed With Orange Paint One Day Before Solstice
  • At the same time Stonehenge has some delicate evidence of ancient painted designs that requires special imaging equipment to detect that may have been wiped out bu this. There's a reason why they tend to keep people at a distance from the thing.

  • Stonehenge Sprayed With Orange Paint One Day Before Solstice
    www.forbes.com Stonehenge Sprayed With Orange Paint One Day Before Solstice

    Stonehenge was been sprayed with orange paint by climate activists on Jun. 19 demanding action on fossil fuels just one day before summer solstice.

    Stonehenge Sprayed With Orange Paint One Day Before Solstice
    12
    Capitalists: capitalism is the only system that lets you chase your dreams…
  • This is true! Socialism is a spectrum of different political expressions of the idea of socially held wealth. The term was coined by Marx to a wider already existant school of thought regarding how basic human needs should be handled through copious economic planning. The slogan we hear about workers and means of production isn't quite accurate as it is kind of a short quippy way to summerize passages that uses terms like "use-value".

    There were other promenant thinkers who served as and creditied as predecessors on that school of thought. We tend to use the term "proto socialists" to that group because many of them predeceased the term but Socialism is an umbrella term. If you believe on any form distribution of resources required to meet basic needs then you fall under the umbrella.

    A lot of the Socialist movers and shakers of the past saw variable amounts and expressions of success in integration of Socialist principles inside democratic systems.

    Communism has somewhat less shades of grey and while technically under the umbrella term socialism in some ways it is unique. It refers in practice of the supposed handover of power to a system that is supposed to have a diminishing need for a state while also prohibiting privately held property. It sometimes aims for a currency free situation. As such it is incompatible with current models of liberal-socialist spectrums of representitive democracies. It has also never technically succeeded in that handoff... Which is sometimes veiwed as a critical failure point inate to the attempted implementation of the ideology - or as a set of individual failures of the movements who attempted to adopt the ideology in name and fumbled the landing.

    There is a lot of interesting history on different forms of socialism!

  • Vermont Republican secretly poured water into colleague’s bag over months
  • Small nomenclature heads up "Transgenders" is a common conservative dogwhistle. In correct use trans and cis or transgender and cisgender are adjectives , it's always paired with a noun. For example "Transgender people" , "trans woman" , "trans man". It's like the rules for the racial term "black". Drcently cool to use as an adjective but when you hear someone nounify it to "the blacks" it leaves a certain impression.

    The space between the words is actually important as well. In the UK changing the adjective into a noun by removing the space is used by TERF groups when they operate in more public discourse to signal to each other they imply that they aren't talking about a specific type of man or woman but a distinct second category. As in "That's not a man, That's a transman™.

    It's not a huge deal, nobody's offended or anything, the post body is obviously trans supportive so nobody is gunna think you are repping the anti-trans agenda or anything but I figure it's something you'd probably want to know? I am not intending to be pedantic just sorta handily educational.

  • Featured
    Alt history idea of the week what if Christopher Columbus died on his first voyage
  • Some other person would've credited for what he was doing. Everybody was sending exploratory vessels out to do stuff. If Spain didn't some other European nation would have tried it eventually in the time period because they were all getting technology and discovery obsessed.

    Arguably certain island nations that ended up under his governership would have had someone slightly less brutal but I can't imagine it would have been much better for the indigenous peoples. Even someone more on the level than Columbus was still going to try to subjugate the indigenous people to produce personal profits for themselves and increase their social standing in rare circles of power they cared about back home.

    All in all Columbuses Contemporaries thought he was something of a charismatic idiot. They already knew the world was round and a lot of them had much more accurate calculations than Columbus which is why the first three countries refused to bankroll him. Some advised that if there was nothing but water on the other side of the earth you'd just all run out of viable provisions 1/3 of the way no matter how much you packed on the boat as spoilage, tonnage and the sheer amount of viable fresh water required created hard limits to how long you could be at sea particularly if anything went at all wrong causing unexpected delays.

    But someone was bound to try exploring at some point. They probably wouldn't have "discovered" things in the same order... But they would have got there.

  • House Passes Bill To Automatically Register Young Men for the Draft
  • It's bonkers that you have to actively sign up for it. Canada had conscription on the books as an available tool but like... you never actively signed on or were penalized for not doing that paperwork. In 2021 they ended all mandatory military service and two months ago they removed conscription entirely. Not that it's possible for conscription to not come back as technically it's not actively banned, but if it did it would have to be written and implemented as law entirely from scratch and be re subject to the full process of new constitutional challenge and could now be subject to gender discriminations to strictly men as required by current civil rights .

    There's something about coercing someone to sign their name to paper to register for conscription that feels wrong to me that just accepting a call to conscription doesn’t. Like they want to reduce your resistance to it by making it "voluntary".

  • With the recent issues of transgender people in sports, why don’t we move some sports over to a weight-class system?
  • I think it's a lot more black and white being trans than people realize and I have my own pet theories about what gender euphoria /dysphoria is that I observe as being two independent factors.

    Half of the problem I think in reaching people is that the vast majority of cis people don't have an observed internal gender preference. We are trying to build empathy with something we as trans people assume they have too - but maybe only a small minority of cis people experience it. I don't think we actually understand cis people, we just assume a bunch of things about them using trans people as a false opposite.

    Thing is... If I am correct, the assumed massive earth shaking regret of what would happen if a cis person went through gender reassignment... Is they might just adapt and be fine.

  • With the recent issues of transgender people in sports, why don’t we move some sports over to a weight-class system?
  • I have pointed out to people before that trans women athletes in practice tend to not outperform all women in the sport. The data we have puts them as no more competitive as women with naturally high testosterone and depending on sport can actually be at a disadvantage...

    But there's another underlying assumption. You assume your athlete went through masculinizing puberty first and then a female puberty second. If you skip that first step then you don't see major differences of frame, weight distribution or muscle mass.

    Where this stings is that laws are forcing people to go through that first puberty regardless of the wishes of the paitent, the patients families, the paitents doctors and the concensus of the medical associations of those doctors... And then the government sits back and demonizes those people based on their physicality as a logistical social problem for the rest of their lives and ostracizes them based on this logic.

    Athletes squew young. If you allowed through trans athletes who went through the transition process young enough or looked at sport with trans populations and statistically assessed whether any excessive advantage was afforded and allow in those instances where none was found you could solve for any statistical stand out issues within a decade...

    But no, we are having this inane conversation because it suits some government parties to make people feel that trans people are a threat or a problem that must be stopped and that there is zero reasonable inclusion policies.

  • With the recent issues of transgender people in sports, why don’t we move some sports over to a weight-class system?
  • It isn't that there's tons of trans athletes... It's that even at fairly low levels of sport there are currently more options available to people with disabilities to participate then there are of people of intersex and trans backgrounds. In a lot of cases tracking performances of trans athletes they aren't dominating. There's stories of transfem athletes who regularly sit around getting 15th place but after coming in first one time the entire sporting becomes hostile to trans people.

    In civil rights discussions there's a concept of rights of participation. The concept being that being barred from social, political or recreational spheres creates outsized harms on the ability to make the advantageous connections others are given free access to and creates classes of segregation.

    There's also a catch 22 situation. If someone opts to go through a trans puberty instead of a natal one there is no meaningful difference to speak of between the physicality of trans athletes and cis ones. If forced to stay inside their original sex segregated sport not only are trans people being being told in no uncertain terms that society does not accept their new status regardless of parity, they essentially become isolated inside the sporting body. Either you have someone whose body is feminine placed in a sport with only cis males to be compared to or you have a masculine body placed inside a group with all cis women and both will be framed out of being taken at all seriously inside the entire body of that sport. A lot of trans people can't participate in sport not because they aim to be picked for any of the social leg ups excellence in sport provides... But for any of the regular benefits of just participating.

    It creates a fair sting to have a government force your choice of initial puberty that neither you or your doctors and parents thought was a good idea... and then sit back and watch the rest of society constantly punish and isolate you for going through that puberty by then treating you as a logistical social problem for the rest of your life.

  • With the recent issues of transgender people in sports, why don’t we move some sports over to a weight-class system?
  • Segregated sports based on a demographic like that isn't as trans affirming as you would think... My gut reaction as a trans person is about the same aversion I imagine a person of color would experience if a white person tried to put forward a "People of Color sport league".

    Ditching us all into a new category like we're quarantined in sport away from other athletes because we're implicitly not cis... Isn't something I would appreciate.

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    Drivebyhaiku @lemmy.world
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