Verdict is in

Holy shit. How is this meme how I find this out?

I thought for sure it'd be a hung jury.

There was a lawyer talking and she said that this was one of the strongest cases she'd ever seen. Basically, there were dozens of smoking guns.
- I'm sure it had to be. If they had left any doubt whatsoever Trump and his cronies would've exploited the hell out of it. Hell, they'll almost certainly try anyway.
Lol glad to be of service
Don’t worry, I’m sure he’ll get off with nothing more than a gentle tap on the wrist… just like all those times he got off scott-free for contempt when anyone else on the planet would have been jailed.
Same image could’ve been used for that, too.

FloridaMan who disappointed a porn star found guilty on 34 counts.

For more details, search "Trump ruling 34"
- It was also due to her Secret Carriers Attentive Permit and this all blew when his anti inflation plan came in. For more details, search "Trump SCAT Inflation Rule 34"

That belly is so big because it’s FULL OF VERDICTS

Slaps roof of ~~car~~belly. This bad boy can fit so many verdicts.

Wait so after foreign election interference, multiple sexual assaults, bragging about those same assaults, an attempted coup of the government, and losing classified documents, the thing that finally gets Trump charged with a criminal offence is dating a stripper

Fucking America, man!

Found guilty of falsifying business records as part of a wider effort of election fraud.
- Yeah "dating a stripper" wasn't quite it. First off, he didn't "date" anyone. He literally met a pornstar, invited her to his hotel, and raw-dogged her. But that's not even a crime. You can raw-dog pornstars to your heart's content if you want to. That was just the motive for his crimes.
  But not the motive that a normal person would have. A normal person would try to prevent their wife from finding out. Trump literally did not give a shit if his trophy wife knew he was out banging randos while she was still nursing her newborn. He only cared that it would hurt his election chances. So he paid nearly half a million dollars to cover up the story, committing 34 felonies in the process.
  I love that all of the above isn't an "alleged" event. All of it has been proven in court as fact. Well, except for the Melania nursing her baby part. That is an embellishment on my part. I'm pretty sure trophy wives don't nurse their kids - they have nannies for that.

Thank you, that was the most beautiful way of finding out that news

Haha no problem. One day you can tell future generations where you were on this glorious day.

Never in the history of history has a single man been put through as many trials as Trump.

Jesus came twice.

Jesus came twice.
Me too, buddy. Me too.

Its a messed up system that you can be a convicted felon but still run for president.

Weirdly this might be one of the few times our criminal justice system is structured correctly. The DOJ bagging presidential candidates to prevent them running against the incumbent would be a huge problem. Of course, that would be the least of our worries if Trump became president again.
- Seems highly exploitable.
If you couldn't then all a ruling party/elite would need to do it find a way to criminalize their opponents.
No.

Seriously, what the hell do you even sentence a man to for this?

Honestly, I would be shocked if he does any jail time
- I'd be fine with 30 days per FELONY. That's nothing compared to what you or I would get, but I doubt he'd be alive after serving that time. The only reason he's running for president is to keep his fat incontinent orange ass out of jail and to steal more top secret shit to pay off the half a billion he owes in foreign loans.
They could give him four years on each count.
- Up to 20 years according to cnn.
- Which would be served simultaneously so somewhere before zero and four years.
Seriously! But I wouldn't be surprised if he won an award from the RNC over this.
- Presented by Kyle Rittenhouse.
Some fines.

This is how I found out. Thank you.

But is he actually in jail yet? I'm waiting for that before I celebrate

Sentencing is July 11th. I expect appeals upon appeals though, so not getting my hopes up for actual jail time.
I'll celebrate the fact this piece of shit didn't get away with it. He has 34 felonies. He is a convicted felon.
Will probably just be fines. I'll be (pleasantly) shocked if he gets anything more.

Call me when he's actually in prison. Until then he still gets to be a rich asshole with a fuckload of idiot supporters to grift. I doubt anything serious even comes from this.

So satisfying

The DA used the company records against Donald

[nsfw]

https://youtu.be/pBdGOrcUEg8

Unfortunately I think to make this complete the bottom croc/alligator should also be named Trump with a little "well anyway..." bubble.

Quite literally nothing is going to happen to him. He's member of Elite Legal Prime™ the tier of Justice™ that don't suffer the same consequences or get the same sentences as us Pathetic Discount Pleb™ members in the rest of society get because he's a Special Boy since he has money and a cult...