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I'm gonna run for president on a single platform:
I will shit my pants the least. To be clear, I will shit my pants, but far less than the others.
You have my vote, sir
If voting made a difference it would be illegal.
Exactly as the Founding Fathers intended
https://web.archive.org/web/20130305080250/http://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/index.asp?document=470
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fart_ProudlyQuantum cow