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Programmer Humor @programming.dev

nifty @lemmy.world

11mo ago

What’s in a name?

146 comments

Robert'); DROP TABLE Students;--
https://xkcd.com/327/
- Good ol' Bobby Tables
- Thank you! I was getting worried.
- Came here looking for Little Bobby Tables with the link loaded up in my clipboard!

Yes, I'll name my child parent. This will reverse the tree, vertically.
- It's Sims 2 all over again.
- And if they settle on they/them pronouns, you could have an inverted non-binary tree.
- It's like naming your dog 'Cat'.

What about Alice, Bob, and Eve?
- They're currently shaking hands and too busy to let us borrow their names
  
  Even if they weren't you wouldn't be able to contact them directly, nowadays they have s man in the middle who handles their communications. badum tss

I love you so much NullPointerException
- Oh no, we’ve lost NaN again!
- "don't throw your child please." "Why? What's wrong with it?"

fun fact elif is a legit girl name in Turkish
- My grandma watches this
  https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4745726/
  
  Lol, my mother used to watch it too
  
  don't even know what this is but I have been abroad since maybe 2010 so not suprised

"Pointer, where are you?" Points at Parent, my other child
- OOP issues LOL!
- Pointer, where is This, your other sibling?
  
  They’re with Self and Construct.
- Pointer moved to Hollywood, to become a character star. They had a string of interviews, but it ended in nothing.

Why no Ada or Janet? Or Haskell or Idris?
- Ada is in fact named after a person, thus completing the circle.
  
  So are Haskell and Idris (well, if you consider a singing dragon as a person).

Elif is a feminine Turkish name :)

You know, OOP in Spanish translates as "Programación orientada a objetos" or POO in case you need it
- Same in French which is ofc very similar to Spanish: programmation orientée objet

A friend of mine named his dog Byte. The dog is very playful, and has the habit of running in the direction of other people he meets.
When the dog does that my friend tries to call him back shouting: "BYTE!! BYTE!!". People get really scared when this happens 😂
Okay, not so funny if you are the one being approached by the dog.
- That's probably a little unethical but the mental image is absolutely hilarious.

"Yo shut the fuck up Linked list, you're annoying as hell"

Little baby FORTRAN

Meet my kids, Sed and Awk.
- And my dog, Cat.
- What about grep and ack?
  
  Those are our names. My parents were Less and More.

"child" seems to be enough. short and concise.
- “Slave” works too.
- child-1 just in case
  
  Yeah leave em wondering what happened to child-0
  
  Error in line 1: You can't use a reserved symbol in a variable name.

Definitely naming my next dog Byte.
Edit: Petabyte!

Brainfuck

Ah yes Julia, an unreasonably effective name to give your child

Just name the kid Basic, hardly worse than the Trahgedhieghs running around today
- But what if they write sins instead?

Just name your child Linus like we all do...
- His middle names are Tech and Tips, his nickname is Torvalds

How could they forget Pascal :/

This reminded me I haven't heard from my uncle Foo Bar in a while. (He spells it Fubar)
- Ain't that the right way to spell it?
  
  I think either way is perfectly acceptable. He just prefers Fubar and who am I to argue?

As a Python programmer I'll have to name my child Dictionary, of course.
- "My ordered set of kids? Wouldn't change them for anything. They're tuple-lets!"
- Dic for short

Oh yes, OOP, the namest of names

Zig missing from the list is sad for very old meme reasons, too.
- In A.D. 2001
  Memes were beginning
- omg the newgrounds site still loads?!
  
  of course!
- What you say?
  
  You are on your way to destruction make your time!
- Clearly they took off every Zig.
- Thank you for that. I was young once 😭
  
  My wife and I are the same age but I started using the internet around 1999 whereas she didn't use it until many, many years later.
  It's fun because I can show her old memes for the first time. She missed the entire "lol so random" era of internet memes (think things like badger badger badger, "my spoon is too big", forehead shavecut, animutations, etc) and doesn't quite understand it. It's all we had back then!
- For great justice

Oop

I'm naming my mid Iron Python and there's nothing you can do to stop me.
- Oh wow is that still a thing?
  
  no idea, but the name is excellent.

Nothing beats Bobby Tables.

I'm naming mine 1337Code jr
- For some reason I got an out of bounds memory exception when trying to dereference the parent.
- Kind of has the same cadence to it as James Bond Jr. I like it.

I like "Vectoria".

Eula.

Naming ~~things~~ kids is the hardest part of programming.
- Just put them in an unnamed array 'kids' and start with 0.

Lua
- Lua-Nil

goto

Haskell? Curry? Maybe even Brooks.
- Haskell is an awesome name for a baby
  
  Oberon and Pascal, too. Or TurboPascal if you want to go the extra mile.
- Monad
  Functor
  Lambda
  Pure
  Lisp
  Recur
  Arity
  Memo
  Transduce
  Lein
  Cabal
  Akka
  Eval
- Don't forget Elm!

This reminds me of an article I read about a guy whose last name was Null.
This isn't it but is the first one I found when looking.
https://www.wired.com/2015/11/null/
The story is pretty much what you would expect but still an amusing read.

Error also has a nice ring to it
- Obligatory:
  
  I'm surprised this isn't memed more. Like, it's canon that there's a guy named Error running around in Hyrule and everyone has forgotten this.

Shhhh. My spouse hasn't caught on, yet.

My first kitten was called Rails, but be run away. The second one, Ruby, but she died from sickness the second day we had her home. The third one was Rails 2, but we called him just Rails, he's 10 yo now. The fourth one wad called PowerBI, buy ny wife didn't like and it was a lame name anyway so we changed it to Sushi.

Don't give elon any ideas.

Fork
- Actually considering that for my first-compiled

World. Why? "Hello World".

We named our son "Foo Bar" but we used the alternate spelling "Fubar" to make it look more reasonable.
- This is a joke, right? Because FUBAR is not something you should name a kid.
  
  Self-fulfilling nominative determinism right there.

If you name her Julia, you can wake her up with the wonderful meme of “Good morning Julia, it’s me, Joe…”

don't forget Ada

PHP. It’s pronounced, PhhhhP
- php, pronounced philip

My son GIGO never quite meets expectations.

Orphan Process
Null
Char
Object
Instance
Bug

CTRL+F 'Robert'
0 hits
Really?

Ada?

Exception Segfault Binary

My dogs are Ping and Ruby

My favorite IT based names and the reason why I want two kids: Master and slave

404
- I've seen you around quite a bit, crabby. Nice to see you again. 👋
  
  Hi 👋
  Lemmy is small so we see familiar face often 🙈

OOM
- Killer’s my middle name.
  
  Reaper of the VMAs.

Forindo Iffi **int

146 comments