As You Wish

fuck you i didn't want to have read that

Fun fact, there is an acceptable level of bug parts allowed in food products. And the level is not zero.
- Fuck man, bug parts are probably some of the healthiest things in your food.
  The shit has micro plastics in it. Stuff that fucks up the kids you don't even have yet.
  Bugs are no big deal. Except they also have micro plastics in them.
- Humans have likely eaten bugs with their food by accident for as long as humans existed. Bugs are everywhere, and its impossible to be meticulous and get them all out always.
- I've eaten insects willingly. I've had crickets, I've had ants, I've had beetle larvae. They were all fine.
  What I haven't eaten is roaches. Because roaches are fucking nasty.
psychic damage inflicted
Well here is a half moth that I once got in a prepackaged salad I bought once
- Prepackaged leafy greens are the worst offenders for quality control issues by far
- Where's the other half?
- Looks like a cicada

Wow, I'm post-worthy. Who knew.

Congratulations on your living nightmare.
Not you, that's who. Hee hee.. Annie are you ok. I'm a bit sleep deprived so please excuse me.
- thanks, Google

Coffee filtered through a dead cockroach is about to become the new 'Kopi luwak' (coffee from animal poop).

It's too disgusting now, but soon it'll be both too disgusting and too expensive.

I mean cockroack milk (made from their secretions) is a thing already, so.
- I love learning new things!
  This was not one of them.
- What the fuck did I just read.
  If I had an ounce of skill as an artist I'd draw the image evoked by your 13 words.
  Tiny milking machines hooked up to billions of restrained cockroaches, extracting their milky secretions.
  God damnit
- Is there a poster that's the exact opposite of the one Fox Mulder has? "I do not want to believe."
- Yeah that's enough fediverse for one night.
- @aihorde@lemmy.dbzer0.com draw for me a cockroach being milked

Honestly there's probably ground up roaches and other bugs in the coffee anyway, no one complains about that.

But as soon as I jokingly put a cockroach in the coffee maker, all of a sudden it's a big deal 🙄

Maybe the keyword there is "jokingly"? Too many people these days can't take a joke.
Have you tried straight-up putting one in authentically - maybe they'd like it then? :-P
Pro-Tip: how about you don't try that? :-D

I lived with a buddy of mine who owned one of the first generation Keurig machines. We had problems with roaches cropping up here and there and we tried everything to get rid of them from diatomaceous earth to calling an exterminator but they always came back and we had no idea where they were coming from. We had assumed at some point that it was probably from an adjacent town home so we just dealt with them as they came and I didn't think much of them after that. Fast forward a year or so and I've moved out of the place. I get talking with my buddy about the old roach problem and he tells me that he found out where they were nesting when his Keurig machine stopped working and he attempted to open it up and they came pouring out of the machine. My buddy grabbed some roach spray we had stocked up on and drenched the machine in it to kill as many of the damn things as he could. He ended up throwing that machine away. I'm glad I switched to French press and moka pots forever ago.

this needs an entomology paper
edit: hmmm https://www.thecommonscafe.com/3-simple-steps-to-keep-roaches-out-of-your-keurig-coffee-maker/
Around 40% of commercial coffee makers are infested with roaches. Garbage, sewage, and waste from humans can all be fertilized by roaches, and their intestinal parasites can spread. Look for different factors to determine if your coffee maker is infiltrated by these insects. Because coffee grounds and roaches almost look like each other, it may be difficult to identify them in your coffee maker.
Home brew forever.
- This text us written by AI and edited by drunk human.
- This article keeps contradicting itself. I suspect it was written by a LLM.
- I'm suddenly glad I drink tea.
- Well I'm glad I French press.
- Came back to drop this: https://www.iflscience.com/no-youre-probably-not-drinking-ground-up-cockroaches-in-your-coffee-69066
- I'm so glad I don't drink coffee. I think I wouldn't be able to handle a roach-infested anything in my home. At least, afaik, roaches aren't that much of a problem in Germany
la roche mocha

Voyager screencap note: can tap the three dots, share as image, add the parent comment, and get a nice clean shot. Helpful if there are lots of replies you want to hide in between.

🤯
Hey! It does work!
I started using voyager back when it was a web app snippet or whatever and it was called wefwef. I have to say this app is awesome, thanks for making it if anyone from the team reads this!
- You’re welcome! 💙
Good looking out
And since voyager is taking many of the UX features that made Apollo on iOS so great (sharing comments or posts as images included), props to Christian Selig for his work on Apollo, and props to the voyager team and community for making what made Apollo so great for Reddit and applying that same awesomeness to Lemmy and improving on it
- Well said!

ಥ_ಥ

edit: that's enough lemmy for today I think

I would have LOVED not to read that

At least you all were hopefully too drunk to care.
- The fly included

Oh dear god, that was not something I needed to read at 7 am.

When I was at school in sixth form there was a coffee vending machine in the rec room (basically only had a few chairs and a sofa plus the coffee vending machine and a microwave) an acquaintance (I hated the guy personally )of mine went and got a coffee from it and found a dead fly at the bottom of the cup. Put me off the vending machine completely and now I'm more cautious when using any machine.

I agree that roach blend coffee is also not my thing like most people here... However, I want you to search "thai roach food" and contemplate your life till now.

Beware of the images tab.

Tldr?
- They have bug cuisine.

What the fuck bro... 😵🤢🤮

I had an ant problem and found them in a clump in my espresso machine a few times. That was HORRIFYING.

!bestoflemmy@lemmy.world?