U.S. Military Bans Men With Girl Names From Combat

Some exceptions will reportedly be made on the basis of spelling, with men named Nicky, for example, being eligible for combat deployment so long as their name ends with a y instead of an i. A military spokesperson told reporters tabs will be kept on once-masculine names that are starting to become girly, the way Charlie and Riley seem to have lately.

The Onion @midwest.social

geneva_convenience @lemmy.ml

5h ago

theonion.com /u-s-military-bans-men-with-girl-names-from-combat/

chapotraphouse @hexbear.net

Evilphd666 [he/him, comrade/them] @hexbear.net

1d ago

U.S. Military Bans Men With Girl Names From Combat

theonion.com /u-s-military-bans-men-with-girl-names-from-combat/

9 comments

...I have to admit, I nibbled on the onion a little here. Just too damn real.
- Fck me! I only got it after reading your comment! Humpf

It’s been awhile since I ate an onion. But today that streak was broken. Goddammit.
- Me too. :cries:

Private Leslie Dancer is inconsolable

Lindsay Graham retroactive draft dodging "oh me? I would not have been allowed to serve"
- While congressional Republicans appear to have fallen in line behind the Trump administration’s support for the ban, one GOP lawmaker was willing to speak on the record against it.
  “This is the most egregiously unfair, bigoted, and discriminatory policy I have ever encountered,” said the senator and Air Force veteran Lindsey Graham. “I won’t stand for it.”
  
  I appreciate the onion's intended humor here but I'm almost positive the real Lindsay Graham would throw himself under the bus for his fuhrer. So it's one of those bizarre but, unfortunately, increasingly common occurrence where reality is more outrageous than parody ._.

I ate it. Completely.

9 comments