3d ago

Doorbell rang; I didn't answer. Later noticed porch vid showed teen girl needing help. How do I stop kicking myself for not answering?

UPDATE: I posted on Nextdoor for my local neighborhood. Girl was identified and someone reached out to her. She said her phone had died, she got turned around and just needed directions. But she made it home ok!! :)

True story, by the way. This happened to me earlier tonight.

Mid-size city, 500K people. Suburbia area. Well lit. Good part of town. Next to parks, schools, etc. Nice weather.

9:30 tonight (Sunday), I was in the house putting away some laundry. I heard the doorbell. I didn't think anything of it, because I have been getting lots of amazon deliveries.

30 seconds or so later, a knock on the door. Wow, delivery guy is def letting me know I guess.

So I finish folding my laundry, go to front porch. Probably 5 to 10 minutes since knock on door. No package. Weird.

I check my porch camera and it shows a teen girl, maybe 15 or so, out of breath ringing the doorbell. She's wearing pajama bottom pants, shoes, hoodie and a backpack. And she says to herself, "I need help. This is terrible."

She sets on my front step for a few seconds, gets up, then knocks on door. Looks around. Then leaves.

After I see vid, run to sidewalk... look up and down. Nothing. I run back in, put shoes on, go out and again, looking. Nothing.

I call 911 tell the police what happened, they send someone out, but they don't get here till about 30 minutes later. So basically police show up a full 45 minutes after the girl knocked on my door.

While waiting for police, I see neighbor, 2 houses down, pulling out of driveway. I run up to him, show him vid, tell him what happened, he says he'll check his cams, but he didn't get a knock or doorbell ring.

I'm kicking myself that I didn't at least check the porch cam right when doorbell rang. I legit can not stop thinking about that girl knocking on a strangers (my) door hoping I would answer.

She was out of breath, but wasn't banging on the door extra loud or anything. No crying. And I have neighbors all over and across the street. And just a block down is a 7-11.

So it probably wasn't super serious (I hope!), and maybe she just lost her phone or something (I hope!). But I can't sleep thinking about it.

I posted the vid to my local nextdoor community webpage, posted on facebook, etc. All in the hopes that someone will recognize her.

What would you guys do in this situation? Anything I could have done differently (other than answer the door)?

tl;dr: I ignored doorbell thinking it was just amazon package. Check porch cam later and realize it was teen girl saying she needed help and that something terrible happened. Police didn't arrive till 45 minutes later and no sign of girl.

26 comments

A teen girl in pajamas, muttering about a crisis, and vanishing into the night. The stuff of low-budget thrillers, isn’t it? Logically, the first step would be to analyze the video’s sentiment; a precise read on her emotional state. Beyond that, a thorough cross-reference of her appearance and behavior against local missing persons reports, school records, and even social media activity would be prudent. Contacting the local school is also essential; someone there might recognize her, or even uncover a missing student report.
It’s natural to be anxious, of course, but try not to let it overwhelm you. The fact that she didn’t appear to be in immediate peril (no screaming or no frantic banging) is a reassuring detail. She’s likely alright; perhaps a lost phone, a disagreement with her parents, a relatively minor upset. Still, the situation is undeniably unsettling.
- I posted it vid on my local Nextdoor. And today someone recognized her, and contacted her. So she did need help, but not lifethreating. Phone died, she needed directions because she was turned around. But she recognized the next street over and made it home fine! :)
  Nextdoor citizen solved it. Police did not! lol

Speaking as an amazon delivery driver who hears "We don't want any fuck off" from a robot voice at least 20 times a day when I ring a doorbell.
Who sees "fuck off" signs as often as I see american flags with blue lines flying over garages.
Who sees "We will fucking murder you if you come here and we don't know you" signs just as often.
You're fucking sick in the head. Stop being so fucking anti-social. The world outside is a part of the world too. The suburban brain is pathologically insulated and sociopathic. Your own little plot of land where no one can bother you or tell you what to do. Directly downstream of homesteading (Read: killing anyone who was there before and killing anyone who shows up after IT'S MINE MINE MINE).
Our society is fucking sick to the bone and you just had a moment of lucidity. Don't let it pass.
What would you guys do in this situation? Anything I could have done differently (other than answer the door)?
Fucking amazing. Absolutely gobsmacked.
I'm grateful for this opportunity to call you human garbage. Lord knows you'd try to get me fired if I encountered you in the wild.
- You’re fucking sick in the head. Stop being so fucking anti-social.
  First, I'm not anti social. I was folding laundry. Decided I would just go out and grab the package after I was done. And for the record, in my area, amazon drops it off, rings doorbell and practically jogs/runs back to their truck, to make next delivery. I've never answered the door in time to talk to them, even when I answer right away.
  I think you misunderstood the entire post.
  Dude, I was in backroom of house, doing laundry. Doorbell rang, I figured it was delivery. So I finished laundry up, went to front porch. Saw no package, THEN I checked security cam and saw girl on camera. And immediately called police as I went into street looking for her.
  This wasn't a case of me avoiding the door or people. I talk to people out and about all day every day. I'm retired. Dude, step back.
  EDIT: Girl was identified thru my Nextdoor posting of the vid. She was just lost, dead phone, but made it home fine.
  
  I’m retired.
  Oh wow no fucking kidding you're a goddamned boomer. Not like you could smell it instantly in this "Please tell me how I can feel less guilt doing exactly what I want when I want with no thought to the outside world or other people in it" post.
  I think you misunderstood the entire post.
  lol don't tell me to 'step back' you entitled sack of shit. Your post is EXPLICITLY TITLED so as to ask how to even further insulate yourself from the outside world in the context of 'oops I might have let someone in distress needing help die. Please tell me what I could have done OTHER THAN SEE WHAT WAS OUTSIDE MY BUBBLE'
  And you're continuing to respond as if the only thing the outside world does is provide you treats. It couldn't possibly be an actual person. And even if it is they can fucking wait! I'm the fucking center of the universe! How DARE someone come to my CASTLE and deign to demand MY audience on a schedule outside my own convenience!
  I'm not making you feel better about your anti-social (please look up the difference between this word and asocial. You're far too old to be this poorly read) and narcissistic behavior? Well that's what you came here looking for! That's the POINT of the post!
  I understand this post better than you do because I see you from outside. I'm explaining to you how you're sick in the fucking head based on your own words, and even your response to my observations.
  This wasn’t a case of me avoiding the door or people. I talk to people out and about all day every day
  Oh I'm sure you have quite the social life at your leisure and on your terms. You are after all the center of the universe, aren't you?
  A woman was looking for help and in distress, but "I talk to people all the time!" Fucking incoherent response.
  "Dude"

I get why the feelings sucks. You're in your head and somehow only the worst possible outcomes ruminate. You've called the cops, good on you.
You're not in charge of the world, there ought to be others who are charged with taking care of that girl. Their failure in preventing her from showing up on your porch is not your fault either and she's their responsibility, not yours. Keep repeating that in your head.
- Girl was identified thru my Nextdoor posting of the vid. She was just lost, dead phone, but made it home fine.
  
  Glad to hear it! I thought I heard a sigh of relief so massive it circled the world twice.
- Thanks for that!

If she looked for help because of violent parents, it might be dangerous to have that video of her online
- Girl was identified thru my Nextdoor posting of the vid. She was just lost, dead phone, but made it home fine.
- Could point. On the other hand, if she's missing maybe someone knows her or recognizes her.

I mean, this prolly sounds pessimistic but could be a scam? Using a innocent looking person to get people to open up while so rough customers hide somewhere?
- Wouldn’t they have shown up on the cam?
  
  Not if they knew about the cams and anticipated their movement.
  
  Not if they're any good.
  
  I have cam footage from both my driveway leading up to my porch and my porch. No one is with her as she comes up to porch or as she walks away from porch. She may still have been a scammer, but it wasn't that scam.
- Yeah, I have heard of that scam. And I think it's a real thing, but not in this case--at least for that scam. Because my vid shows her walking up and walking away alone.
  But I think I've finally relaxed and am not as worried for her as I was. Lots of houses here. Lots of stores down the street less than a block away. And she didn't run to or from my door. So whatever it was, it def didn't appear life threatening as in she was in immediate danger.
  I have two cars in my driveway as well. Truck and a jeep. So I don't think anyone was scouting my house thinking I'm little old lady. I've watched the video over and over. No torn clothes. Hair was up in a neat bun. Wasn't crying.
  But the out of breath part and the saying she needed help because something terrible happened is what sorta is sticking with me. Even tho, since I wrote the post and cleared my thoughts a bit, who actually says that outloud when talking to themselves?! And the lack of urgency in the walking to and from my door is strange. But also, I know that people under stress react differently, so..
  What does disappoint me tho, is how little the police seemed to worry about it. They just didn't see it as a big deal. I played the vid. They agreed it was strange. But no one asked for copy of my vid or screen shot the vid or anything. I checked missing persons site for my area. Checked police blotter. No missing people that match this. So I guess I'll just have to accept I did what I did. And if something does happen, then I have a time stamp, so I'm saving the vid.
  
  I'd think that 2 big cars might be an indication that there's more stuff to be found inside, not from an old lady, but a guy who seems helpful and would open up to help a girl in need? I guess there would be accomplices, who might be able to know about the cameras?
  But I'm just thinking out loud. Idd is pretty weird, all the parts of the entire story. If it is real, given how there are stores nearby, I'd think she would find someone there fast? And she prolly would be safe?
  The Police being so apathetic is super fucked though. I'm guessing you're from the states? Police really aren't that trustworthy there, right?

26 comments