Hey Lemmy! Who ya voting for to be the new pope?

Satan. I'm pretty sure he would greatly increase the morality and the accountability in the Catholic Church.
- If nothing else he would send all the pedo preists to hell.
  
  Accountability.

I think we should reelect Francis.
- We just gotta set up one of those WH40K Golden thrones for him!
  
  Guarantee they have something that's already halfway there tucked in a warehouse.
- No no no. You aren't allowed to elect dead popes, just prosecute them.

The pope goes by AD&D druid rules. The new pope is the guy who killed the previous pope.
So it's J D Vance.

Last one was on the liberal side. Expect a hardcore, gay hating conservative this time.
- I had read that Francis appointed 80% of the Cardinals who pick the new Pope. So it's possible that the new Pope will have similar views to Francis.

The pope elections always last long cause every man always votes for himself. Just like the pirate king of brethren court

Cue Musk with his lottery for votes.
- I'd vote for Elon Musk as Popeking of Catholicism.
  The same way Elon "improved" Twitter and the US Government, I would love it if he did the same for the Catholics.
  
  Elon can't be trusted with a literal sovereign nation, but I guess between The Vatican and US... What's he gonna do with it, harbor predators?

Trump! Make Trump the new Pope. That would be hilarious!
- Do you think that is why JD Nonce was in the Vatican? To force the Pope into announcing Trump as his successor?
  
  I heard he was there to kill him. Hence his death shortly after.

Screw it, I'll be the pope if that means I can release the records on their pedo priest protection program.

Yeah Danny sounds good. Or Jack Black would pope the hell out of that Vatican, literally.
- Can't

Donald Glover
- I don't know much about him, but he's always seemed super cool. I'm down with a cool pope.
  
  He didn't get to be Spider-Man when it was age-appropriate and people were buzzing about the idea. I feel like Pope is a good consolation prize.

I vote for whomever Francis had on mind (hopefully he discussed that before passing).
There's little chance of getting someone as decent as him.
- Yes he had one candidate, if I understand correctly: Luis Antonio Tagle. He has a vision of a church adjacent to the poor and the working population in general though he seems regressive on LGBTQ. But going by the sign of times, it'll probably be Raymond Burke. I suppose Vance visited the Vatikan to pave his way.
  Personally I concur Danny DeVito would totally be the man for the job. He would gonna get real weird with it and he certainly doesn't diddle kids.

Deadmau5.
The tapes of some of these Catholic hymns are getting kinda worn- let's get some fresh beats to liven things up. And a laser lightshow in St Peter's Basilica would help appeal to the "hip youths" ensuring a continued Catholic hegemony for the next century.

I'm thinkin' Father Guido Sarducci will come outta nowhere and sprint to the win.

Bill Burr would be pretty funny I think
- There's been some great ideas here, but I like yours the best.
  Bill Burr complaining about being forced to be the pope would be amazing.

Bernie Sanders. Christianity spun out of a Jewish apocalyptic sect, so why not, in some very small part, bring it back toward its roots?

Eckhart Tolle. I personally think he has a neurological disorder but he'd make life better.

I think Bill Maher should put his name in the hat. I know he's atheist, but he got on his knees for Trump, so maybe he's willing to give Jesus a fresh look.