Adult gamers of Lemmy how do you find time to game without being exhausted of the screen?

That's the neat part: I don't. I've played so many games I see most of them as minor changes from games I've played before. Most of them do not do anything interesting for me to invest my time in an experience I've already basically had. Very few games manage to feel different.
But if you are exhausted at the screen, touch grass. Playing video games may not be the vacation you think it is, you may need to go outside and spend more time doing things that are different from what you do most of the day: eg your work, your sleep and your main hobby. Go pick up hiking. If you find hiking boring, get a RC trail car and do rc hiking. If you really need that brainrot current popular fps vibes: go do hiking with toy guns: airsoft/paintball

That's my secret cap. I'm always exhausted.
The Steam Deck has been a literal lifesaver. Enabling me to play in bed.
- Playing on the couch is a godsend.
  
  Second this. Handhelds are great for adult gaming.
  Plus in my case you also tend to gravitate away from more narrative, engaged experiences and towards more mechanics-driven, lighter stuff, which tends to be a good fit for the format, too.

Just get a bluetooth controller and use the SteamLink app on your phone. It let's you lounge back and play games just like the steam deck and for way cheaper. I'm actually finding it hard to justify buying a Steam Deck when I have this option.
I'm in the same situation, working 8 hrs at a desk and I can't join the discord group like I used to during school years. Now I just watch tv on the main monitor and use SteamLink on my phone
- I think if you tried an OLED Steam Deck, you might change your mind. The screen alone is amazing... But also, the fact that it's a fully functioning Linux device is great as well. So much better than Android.
  
  Yea oled is very nice, it's what most phones today have too. (Mine included)
  It is nice to have a portable computer, but op is asking for playing games and your games can have wayy better graphics if you stream it from a full gaming pc vs compromising quality to have it run on the steamdeck. When you're just running games on steam there's not that much more difference between the two.

My suggestion is to either change the context you play games in, or pick games that are very cognitively different from what you normally do at work.
You can change your context with a new console, but I think it may be cheaper to do something like buying a controller and playing games while standing up, or on your couch/armchair, or playing games while sitting on a yoga ball. The point is to trick your brain, because it's associated sitting at a desk in front of a computer with boring tedium. Change the presentation and your subconscious will interpret it differently.
You can also achieve this by identifying the things that you have to do in your job that mirror videogame genres you enjoy and picking a game that shares few of those qualities.
I worked at the post office for years, doing mail processing, and my enjoyment of management and resource distribution style games went down sharply during that time because of the cognitive overlap- I played more roguelikes and RPGs as a consequence.
- Any portable console is amazing for this, as you can literally change the whole context on a whim. A steam deck is nice, but even a used older console like a PSP / Vita or 3DS is amazing for a reasonable amount of money. As most of these systems no longer have legal ways to buy new games, I see no harm in pirating the games. I am doing this with a 3DS right now and going through the systems hit games is just an amazing ride. Currently enjoying Super Mario 3D Land and Bravely Default.
  
  Yeah! Also, sometimes I use emulators that work well on phones to play older games, I had fun playing Final Fantasy Legends 2 with RetroArch.
- You can change your context with a new console, but I think it may be cheaper to do something like buying a controller and playing games while standing up, or on your couch/armchair
  I will try this! Will try the standing. Though, eventually I’ll sit due just tired of standing up. The gaming PC is in my bedroom so there’s not really much room for couch and such.
  I have a controller that, I often use but same issue happens of being exhausted of the feeling ‘being behind a desk and screen’.
  You can also achieve this by identifying the things that you have to do in your job that mirror videogame genres you enjoy and picking a game that shares few of those qualities.
  The thing is, I don’t think anything mirrors my work. I currently have a very basic accounting job and it’s not even that demanding. My work week exists of a mix with doing accounting, listen to podcasts, watching videos on phone and such.
  It’s one of the most relax work I have ever had to be honest. Yet it’s the first job where this feeling of exhaustion started.
  
  Sounds like I have a pretty similar office job and I used to have similar problems with the exhaustion. There’s a few things that really helped I think. The first was to be more active at work. Obviously there’s a limit to what you can do, but don’t pass up any opportunity to get up, walk around, and stretch your legs. If you can take a break/lunch outside then do that. If you have some days where you don’t have too much work to do and it kinda feels like you’re just sitting there with no sense of time, or you’re just watching videos to pass the time, try to find something to do instead. Pick up any trash/misplaced things around the office, reorganize files, have a chat with co workers. This all helps to prevent the exhaustion, I’ve found. Then, when I’m out of work, I try to have non-gaming things to do. Like family dinners on fridays. This helps me feel like I do more than just sit behind a desk all day every day, and it makes it feel like more of a treat when I do sit down to game. I don’t know if these will work for you, but they’re worth a shot if you haven’t tried them I guess

I use my PC as a console an play from the couch on the TV with a controller!

Making my gaming space more comfortable. I work at home on my desk, so I'm also often tired of sitting there when I'm done with work. A few months ago, I purchased a projector, which I can use while comfortably sitting in an armchair. Playing games on a 100 inch projector screen just makes them look way more impressive as well, even though my normal screen is technically better in every way. I also play on my couch using my Steam Deck.

My gaming sessions on my Steam Deck are about 1-2 hours around 2-3 times a week. It takes me about 4-6 months to finish an RPG.
- I second the Steam Deck, best way to pick games up and down and actually play whenever you can instead of having to plan it!
  
  Thirded. You can also stream your PS4/PS5 to it if you want to play one of those games but don't want to have to turn off your stories to play on the TV.
  My stories!
- Accurate.

I remember when I first started working full time. The exhaustion is real. It doesn't ever really go away but you will eventually learn to live with it.
- Fuck capitalism. All my homies hate it
- I am becoming more and more attracted to doing a masters before I graduate.... stave off the misery for another year.
  
  Probably worth doing if you can afford it

That's the neat part. You don't.

Sounds like you're mentally drained after work to be honest. Nothing you can really do about it except play on some days only when you have the energy for it, or on the weekends.

Steam deck is good! And if your Internet is good, any device that can do moonlight streaming.
I have my steam deck plugged into my TV in my living room. I'm all hardwired and can use moonlight to stream my PC to my steam deck with no noticeable latency. I'm usually very picky about input lag / latency and I legitimately cannot notice it. Moonlight/sunlight is wayyyy better than steam remote play imo. And for indie games that the steam deck can run well, I can play natively from that. I hardly ever play at my desk anymore

Work/life balance.
- I cannot upvote this enough.
  Without Work-Life balance, you will be miserable and it won't matter what you plan to do outside of work you won't want to do it.
  The fact that you've just left college and already have a job is a fantastic thing, but the ideal is to have a good work-life balance so that you can actually live life. It took me a long time, too long, to figure that out.
  
  How does one find work-life balance when the 40-hour work week feels like too much? Anything less than "full time" either doesn't pay benefits or doesn't pay enough to live off of. It feels like a trap

I simply started playing less. At first I felt sad and angry, recalling my previous gaming years, but once I started to accept the fact that I was growing up and life changes, the sadness passed. Nowadays I rarely can sit on the PC to play for more than an hour every couple of days. But it's fine. There really are not that many good games that are "must" play and there is no rush to finnish them.No stress about the back log. Also saves money on games, when you can just wait for the sales.
I do still play games on my phone, when I discover some what worthy games to scratch the itches.

I often sit at a desk all day and all evening. I find that these things help:
Good chair. Height adjusted for my keyboard/mouse height. Upright back. Lumbar support. Comfortable-but-supportive seat.
Good posture (when I remember to pay attention to it).
Split, tented keyboard. Mechanical switches that don't require too much pressure.
Good display. IPS panel. Light anti-glare surface. Backlight that actually dims the light source, either without pulse-width modulation, or with PWM at such high frequency that it cannot induce flicker fatigue. Brightness turned down much lower than the default. Calibrated at that brightness setting, optionally to a slightly warm color temperature.
Muted room lighting. Nothing behind me bright enough to reflect much on the screen.
Comfortable clothes.
Cup of water. Regular trips to the kitchen to keep it filled.
Frequent short breaks. Start the laundry. Get a snack. Look at objects outside. Wash a dish. Bring in the mail. Make the bed.
Exercise. At least 10 minutes daily; preferably 30 minutes or more. Stretches. Squats. Rhythm games that require full-body movement.

Lol...you don't! Welcome to adulthood and having real world responsibilities. For me it's turned into maybe 1-2hrs a night at best. Weekends I can sometimes get a bit more in.
- My job is half field based, half desk based. That, and I study part time too, so the simple unhelpful answer is the same: I don't.
  Recently I've taken to building a list of five or six games I'm interested in, booking a week or two off work in the summer, buying a month of Game Pass and just hooning through the games, and if I've got any time left then I'll smash through some Doom WADs and that's me.
  Otherwise, I try and stay away from screens and try to read or run more.

To be honest, I don't get a lot of time to game as an adult. For the past several years, my gaming is mostly restricted to fall/winter, like November through early March and even then, it's primarily around the holidays when I have extra time off work. Even during my "gaming season", I'm usually only able to get in a 45 minute session a few times a week. The rest of the year, I'm lucky to have the down time more than a couple times a month.
So, the big thing is: I have to really consider my time limitations and that restricts the types of games I play. No point in trying to play games with super complicated control schemes, complex story lines, or which require a lot of time dedication to "get gud" because I'm going to forget how to play, what I need to do to advance, and I'm just going to suck compared to kids who play 18 hours a day 7 days a week.
The Steam Deck actually did help me do a bit more gaming. Like you, I sit in front of a computer all day for work, so being able to game elsewhere and in a variety of locations is nice. Plus, I can fire it up when traveling.
I also stick to games that I feel like there's a good chance I can "beat" over the course of my gaming season or games with simple mechanics and limited stories. Like this past winter I played Doom. The year before it was Cult of the Lamb. The year before that it was Hades. Short enough games (at least the main story line) and simple enough controls. Then there are games like Vampire Survivors that offer short, simple, self-contained and satisfying mini gaming sessions if and when I have a random bit of down time and feel like playing something.

I don't have a desk job. 🤷🏻‍♂️
I also always end up taking a break in the suggested (or rather, the suggested manner back when video games straight up had warnings about playing too long in the manual/splash screens when starting them) when I am playing. Just stand up, walk to the kitchen/bathroom/whatever and look at something other than a screen for like 5-10 minutes every 45-minutes to an hour.
You should be able to do that at work, too. Just stand up, stretch, look at the ceiling/floor. You don't even have to leave your cubicle/office.

While I sometimes go a while without touching it before picking it up again, the Steam Deck DID take away that "ugh computer desk" feeling that kept me from gaming.
So I recommend it, BUT it's not a cure, either. It's just an unfortunate side effect of desk jobs that will never completely go away.

I take a lot of breaks. Just a few minutes doing something else.

I play on console mostly these days.
- This has been my go to anymore, especially now that I can afford it.
  
  It’s like the circle of life. Children start with console, move on to PC, return to console. Then LAN parties in the nursing home. I’ll touch back if I can ever afford to retire and let yall know.

So interestingly enough. I work, play, and sleep in the exact same 5 feet nowadays. But I remember that initial feeling all too well from when I graduated and found work.
Similar to what someone else said, I'm always exhausted. I don't think that feeling really goes away. I think the difference is that eventually, you kind of get used to the exhaustion. It doesn't feel good by any means. But my brain has given into it and adapted slightly. I still hate it, but I've kind of adapted.
Do you drink coffee? I resisted it for a few years and then eventually gave in when I realized I wasn't able to function well without it. Mainly because I'm sacrificing sleep during the week. Partly due to bedtime procrastination, and also partly due to stress/anxiety. During the week, I'm getting about 6 hours of sleep each night. Not enough, in my opinion
It also depends on what the rest of your schedule looks like outside of work. When I had to work in the office, I was losing an extra 2-3 hours of my day every day.
I'm sorry you're feeling this way, though. It's not a very fun time. I wish everyone could have a better work-life balance

I usually wake up early before wife and baby, i play for about an hour or so on the weekends but usually by the time I make my coffee and sit at my desk and update they are awake so I mostly just collect steam games that maybe ill pass down to my child.
I did setup steam-headless for a while on my server and I got a razer kishi controller and played games during lunch at work and few times but that kind of fell off. I also got an analogue pocket to play some gba/snes games I've been wanting to beat but I mostly only use it when I go camping or something

The post work exhaustion will get easier over time, but it's a trick to balance. Make sure you're keeping your health good, getting adequate rest, etc. There will be some adjustment, some changes, it all depends on the kind of work you do and how hard you can avoid burning out.
Good luck, it will likely get better.

I don't mind sitting at a desk, but some care tips.
Stand up at least once an hour, even just to get coffee, go to the bathroom.
Always have a (full) bottle of water with you. If it's there, you'll drink it, you won't even notice it. Keep it in your eyeline
Eyedrops. If you're in an office job, you need eyedrops. If you game on top of that you need them more. I actually dried out my eyes from coding and gaming too much, it's very easy to do. Talk to your eye doctor, get some artificial tears. Look away from the screen every 20 minutes or so and just blink.

I recently bought 2 of these for my partner and I. Worth every penny if you’re going to lay in bed or sit somewhere with it.

I watch other people play the games. Then when I'm tired I close my eyes and I have a nap. I can wake up, fully rested and maybe get to see the final boss! Or not. Maybe I just go to bed.
- Username checks out.

I work on a computer at a desk all day. I’m do penetration testing and red team operations, so I spend a fuck ton of time doing training and development courses and labs which usually just involve typing a bunch of shit into a terminal window, both during work and on my own time (I genuinely enjoy it, it’s not a shitty workplace colonizing my off time situation), and I’ve played games my entire life.
Idk I’ve never had this problem. Screens recharge me, it’s people that drain me. I’d have the same flipped question for product vendors that are always at conferences and stuff, or business insurance sales people, just wondering how they get through all these small talk conversations, sales calls, dinners with clients, etc., without a chance to just sit behind a screen and answer people at whatever pace they need.
Oh. I have a variable height desk I got from DeskHaus. I love it. I’m standing a fair amount of the time I’m working. I have a decent SteelCase chair I bought during the beginning of covid. I got it from a refurb reseller, but even brand new it’s not their nicest chair, but it’s expensive enough and holding up well enough that I don’t see a reason to replace it yet. Standing through the workday helps me not feel exhausted and tired of sitting in the same chair for 12 hours since I haven’t been.

I don't burn out on screens. I can enjoy a game for 4 hours to unwind from 6 hours of work.
If you're just starting out working, I wager to say you're still... unoptimized. Putting in a lot more effort than necessary. New jobs are always stressful. Working for the first time even worse. Give it 10 years of working, and you'll (hopefully) find your groove where you don't let work drain your entire battery, and you still have energy left for relaxation.

I fall asleep with sticks in my hand
- Me too. But sometimes I don't even play video games
  
  Ha

You can't really. Only solution for me was to just not work 5 days a week. If you have a good job now... likely 3/5ths, so 3 days a week, will also make you able to support yourself.

Portables are the best for this, imo. Steam Deck or a used 3DS are my choices. The latter is easy to mod and play all sorts of games including the gigantic DS/3DS library.
I find both systems clutch for the suspend function. Lets you pick right back up where you were. I will say the 3ds is much better at this with clamshell design that suspends on closing the lid and it's battery life in suspend is fantastic!
I also find stress relief games. Mindless 3rd person action games for me. Mad Max was great because I could drive around picking fights or crashing stuff. The Batman Arkham games and the Shadow of Mordor games are other great examples for me. I have not found any relaxing "cozy" games that work for me. Nothing has really grabbed my attention enough to stick with.
- I also find stress relief games. Mindless 3rd person action games for me. Mad Max was great because I could drive around picking fights or crashing stuff. The Batman Arkham games and the Shadow of Mordor games are other great examples for me.
  Yeah, so for me it would be most Switch games through emulation (such as Captain Toad, 3D World and Odyssey) and P3R/P5R.
  I have not found any relaxing "cozy" games that work for me. Nothing has really grabbed my attention enough to stick with.
  I checked ‘cozy’ games but like you, they don’t seem to be my type of games.
  I’m truly debating about the Deck but €670 is a lot to invest when being uncertain. Also what if it wouldn’t fix the exhaustion issue of screens and desks.
  
  I work from home, so the last thing I want to do on my leisure time is sit at the same desk I've sat at for the last 8 hrs. So I lounge on the couch and play through my huge steam deck library. It is not a cheap device, to be sure. But I felt it was absolutely worth it for me.

I got burnt out after treating WoW like a full time job for multiple years, while having a full time job. Ever since my PC is connected to the TV. Sitting at a desk isn't relaxing. So PC or console, it's from the comfort of my recliner with a controller.

game without [being exhausted of the] screen
There is your answer: if screens exhaust you, do something without screens.
Games are supposed to give you a good time, reinvigorate you, and prepare for your "real life". If you're sick of screens, then pick up pottery, or squash, or hiking, or skydiving, or cooking, or... thousands of activities out there to have a good time without a screen.
having a huge backlog
That's work. Just don't. Do stuff that makes you feel better, not just tick a box in a backlog so you feel slightly less bad.
- This. So much this.
  The "backlog" is not something to work through, it is a lesson to learn: Do not buy a game unless you have time and are motivated to play it that very moment. If you buy it to play it "later", or "next week", you very likely are not going to play it, and it is just wasted money.
  (The same is true for books, by the way. And when it comes to books, I refuse to learn this lesson.)

I go through waves. Sometimes I don't want to play games at all, and during those times I do some of my other hobbies/activities. Summer especially I spend a lot of time outside. I would advise against spending money to try and fix what just might be a temporary thing. Not to say you shouldn't buy a SteamDeck if you want one outside of the fatigue, just don't let that be the only reason.
How long have you been working a day job? It might just be a period of adjustment. School life vs work life is a lot different, so it takes time to adjust for most people. Also, if you work from home, that may also be a factor. If so, try not working where you game if possible. That was a huge thing for me.
- How long have you been working a day job? It might just be a period of adjustment.
  For about 2 months and a few days now. So I think, I already adjusted to the changes.
  School life vs work life is a lot different, so it takes time to adjust for most people.
  Definitely! It was tough the first few weeks, lol.
  Also, if you work from home, that may also be a factor. If so, try not working where you game if possible. That was a huge thing for me.
  At the moment I don’t yet, I purposely asked if I could work full time at office. I still live with parents and the distractions are a bit much. Might try working from home sooner or later though.
  
  In that case my original advice might be the best. Try doing some of you other hobbies, and then re-evaluate after a couple weeks. I'm guessing you are not in the US, but the weather is getting better in the northern hemisphere. Try finding something to do that gets you out of the house. If you still want to play games later, you'll find the time

Steam Deck. I can play in bed, or even hook it up to the TV in my living room and play from my couch. I even picked up a wireless keyboard and mouse for that specific purpose.
When I was in my 20's I had my PC hooked up directly to my TV. Now I have kids and I would rather not have it set up like that, but it may be an option for you.

I nap almost every day.

Weed helps, but not much. What really helped was getting out from a screen most of the working day.

I work full time at a computer. I have two jobs, so I put in 68 hours a week (second is 28 hours a week, no overlap).
I have no issues with eye fatigue best I can tell, that or I've just gotten so used to it. I will note I do have the blue light filter on my glasses lenses my optician recommended.

Well, I don't have a desk job and I'm on console. So while I can sympathize, I'm not really able to offer advice.

i can't play anything that requires more than 0 minutes of my time in a session because i have extreme levels of adult ADHD or something

I know this is not for everyone, but may I suggest you to try Hoyoverse games?
Since they are designed to be played both on desktop and mobile, the game play session can be short but still meaningful.
At least this is what I do. I still play other indie games but Hoyoverse really made be forget the need to buy "AAA" games that are designed to waste players' time.
- The story and graphics are top notch, but at times can be pretty grindy.
  
  Yup The key is to do it bits by bits. Still pretty fun!

I play pretty much exclusively on handheld these day. The last thing I want to do after a long day working, is to sit at my desk some more.
I have a Switch and a Steamdeck, both are fantastic for different purposes, and both let me game while relaxing on the sofa or anywhere else.
I usually bring one of then when I travel for work as well, great for killing time in airports or while flying. I'd highly recommend the Steamdeck for your situation - it's definitely worth it.