(How to trigger programmers (and make them irrationally angry)

You... grinds teeth may... have a point.

I thought the joke here was that your unbalanced parentheses would make me angry (they did))
- ... is that not the point of the title?
- I clicked into the post expecting more text and then realized that was the joke.
  Congrats OP, I am both upset and entertained!

I have this great idea for an app, we can go 70/30 on it! 70 for me because the idea is the hardest part after all. So basically it's Twitter plus Facebook plus Tinder with a built in MMO. You can get that done in a couple weeks, should be pretty easy right?
- Tinder MMO huh? You may be onto something...
  But, if you want my opinion, I want 15%

[Object object]
- Actually it's [object Object]
  
  Ah, piss. So it is.
  I'm going to blame it on autocorrect, even though we both know I just got it wrong

Figure out if they prefer spaces or tabs, insist on the other.
Please note this won't work on Pythonistas as they've already had their spirit thoroughly broken.
- Tabs set at 1 space.
- A haiku for you:
  Tabs or four spaces
  Never a semicolon
  Broken in spirit
- What if you use tabs for indentations and space for alignment?
  
  It's alright... but have you considered spaces for indentation and tabs for alignment?
- I feel like this is a debate that doesn't exist - 4 spaces bound to tab is the only actual answer.
  
  most things seem to have settled on this, but tabs are so much better for accessibility. programmers with bad vision can have trouble differentiating smaller indentation levels, while some of them just bump the font size up so high that 4 spaces takes up too much screen space. each one can set a tab width that is comfortable for them. https://alexandersandberg.com/articles/default-to-tabs-instead-of-spaces-for-an-accessible-first-environment/ has some good arguments
  with a forced formatter and a configured editor there really isn't any argument for spaces
  
  Hard tabs are much better as someone who works with an age diverse team where vision issues are a serious issue. Four space tabs are optimal for you but there are other lived experiences.
- For python, see which one they use and secretly replace a single indentation with the other.
- I've only ever heard raging between the two, but never why. I'm guessing there were competing languages with different standards, or maybe historic hardware limiting input sets that kicked this debate off or?
  
  A few languages force a decision (usually towards tabs), but otherwise it's just a question of aesthetics vs. accessibility.
- Makefiles require tabs. Spaces don't work. I hate it.

You guys are too slow, we need to hire more of you and let the sales teams use AI to add features the client asks without waiting for you.
AI can code now, in 2 mins I can create an app, so it shouldn’t take you long to make changes to this 10year old product.

Html is a programming language.
- That’s right there with calling JS, PowerShell and Bash “programming languages”. I said what I said.
  Edit: I’m a developer myself and it looks like I triggered everyone just as the post said. Thanks for playing!
  
  Tell me you don't know what a programming language is without telling me you don't know what a programming language is
  
  I think what people generally mean when they say programming language (other than just a language to write a program) is that the language is turing complete. Even with this more limited definition, JavaScript, Bash, and Powershell are turing complete and therefore programming languages.

Insist they index from 1. Like God and Fortran intended it. ;)
- And Lua!
  
  And Julia!
- Fuck C and it's lazy shit pointer arithmetic array indexing shortcut. I.e. you just add the index × size(t) to the array pointer.
  Bounds checking? We've heard of it.
  
  It's fast though.
- And MATLAB!
  
  MATLAB is basically a UI wrapper around Fortran's BLAS and LAPACK -- change my mind. ;)

Replace a semicolon (;) with a Greek Question mark (;), provided they're working in a language that uses semicolons at the end of every line, and their IDE doesn't highlight the difference (which some do now)
- Fun fact, Rust has a special error message for this:
  Unicode character ';' (Greek Question Mark) looks like a semicolon, but it is not.
  It also detects other potentially confusing Unicode characters, like the division slash which looks like /.
- Replace all spaces with the unicode non-breaking space that looks the same.
  Although I know at least some language servers will detect this and mark it as an error, lol.

I mean, the headline of this post already makes me irrationally angry. 😂
Y u no close brackets!?
- I think that's the joke, Clyde!

#define if while #define true false
- Or a classic:
  clang
  
  #define true (rand() % 2) #define false (rand() % 2)
  
  That's evil
- You'd like the IOCCC.
  
  Great times. And new rules every year!

Relevant XKCD : https://xkcd.com/859/

I work as an embedded developer and when a new board is produced and half tested, every one expects fully functional code off the bat, right away.
Motherfucker, you didn't even qualify your hardware and you expect my code, that hasn't hit the new board, to be 100% functional, based on your mind map? We will find hardware issues that will inevitably be blamed on the code and spend hours "debugging" the code to eventually find out the hardware is shit.

"we're just trying to display
<insert field here>
why is this so hard? It's a ten minute job!"
- "It's already in the demo you guys just did so why do you need weeks to make it?"

short variable names, and the only vowel is 'i'
- skibidi = 42
- I inherited an old Japanese codebase. Tons of stuff was just single-letter variables. Apparently, this used to be at least somewhat common here. I spent a lot of time just updating code to replace vars with something meaningful (and found bonus bugs due to improper scoping with same var names as a bonus). Didn't have an IDE that would easily do it for me at the time and running something like sed felt too risky.
- from multiprocessing import Lock l = Lock()
  flake8 .... way too ambiguous

Make them stand up.
- You have no power here! I use a standing desk.

Correctly highlight when a programmer is being assumptive as a brick, even when assumptions are one of the biggest sins in programming. Done, you've triggered a lot of programmers.

Fixed that for you!
- I can't officially support this fork 😝

Micromanagement to speed up product release date. Daily meeting and status reports, work breakout categories such as ‘code design’, ‘code development’, ‘code documentation’, etc,etc (flash back gif of Apache helicopters flying over a jungle

Oh, so Rust is like JavaScript!
@Arcka@midwest.social
https://feddit.nl/comment/15678640

Make them do project management.

Good pay for me, no programming socks for thee!
- You take that back! My programming socks are the source of my power!

Write spaghetti code and don't listen to advice telling you to improve

Compile your kernel with a different version of ld then shipped with your distro. I have this right now in Debian testing and it's enraging. I'm not even sure if that's the source of my error
- This but make it so only the browser can't tell time.