Skip Navigation
askchapo askchapo @hexbear.net
REgon [they/them] @hexbear.net

You get three wishes, you can only use them for selfish reasons, what do you wish for?

I basically just want to know what you'd wish for if you didn't worry about others. So that's the real question, but it's not as catchy. Three wishes for something only for you. If it helps then assume all the other stuff resolves itself.

The rule is spirit of the law. If you wish for something that happens to help others, it's fine, but if you wish for something with the goal of doing something good for anyone but you, then you're turned into Elon Musks right thumb (you retain sentience and sapience, but you're a thumb. No ability to do anything and you don't control yourself, Elon does, you're his thumb.)

Example:
Okay: Your mom is sick and you wish for her to be cured, because you would miss your mom.
Not okay: Your mom is sick and you wish for her to be cured because she doesn't want to be sick.

And don't try to rules lawyer it, the genie will get you for that too.

Also only three wishes, it's a limitation on the genie, not a rule. It's physically incapable of it. It cannot give you more than three wishes, nor can it be made into something that can do that, nor can it make something that can do that, nor can it make something that can turn it into something that can do that.

55 comments

  • I'd wish for communism (it's the system which benefits me the most)

    No climate change (it's in my best interest that the world does not continue to burn)

    Immortality (because the world I wished for is the ideal paradise and would be better than whatever the fuck happens when you die.

  • Ok now for some actual selfish wishes

    Wish 1 Practical Immortality – No aging, no disease, no accidental deaths. I only die if I choose 2

    Wish 2 (this ones for the Posadists) Full command over a high-tech Alien Invasion Fleet - Also has the implication that there are now 100% Aliens out there

    Wish 3 Mindcontrol (All shall bow before their eternal empress) No but seriously with this I can make the world leaders who wont step down from my ayy lmaos bend the knee peacefully and avoid most of the large scale warfare . Time to start humanities golden Age I guess. I will be a merciful godess. I promise

  • My body cannot get damaged other than aging. Can do hella drugs without ruining my brain, and I will be cured of my chronic physical disabilities

    No more insomnia, this is ruining my life for the past decade

    A couple million USD

    I'm a simple person, my physical and mental disabilities and need to work are like 99% of the problems in my life

  • Ability to drink and eat whatever I want with no negative health affects.

    10 mil.

    Increase my charisma by like 10 points so I can [redacted by VolCel police].

    • The VOLCEL POLICE are on the scene! PLEASE KEEP YOUR VITAL ESSENCES TO YOURSELVES AT ALL TIMES.

      نحن شرطة VolCel.بناءا على تعليمات الهيئة لترويج لألعاب الفيديو و النهي عن الجنس نرجوا الإبتعاد عن أي أفكار جنسية و الحفاظ على حيواناتكم المنويَّة حتى يوم الحساب. اتقوا الله، إنك لا تراه لكنه يراك.

  • I wish for communism, because most work feels like bullshit

    I wish for a dictatorship of the proletariat, because I had being led by sociopaths.

    I wish for a red army, because I hate that shitty people have so much power.

  • Firstly, let's define a pocket dimension: a pocket dimension represents a place where time flows at 1/1 trillionth of the time that it does on Earth, I do not age while inside, is activated by intention, has a mjolnir-like capacity to return to my person by intention, death in there would mean being ejected into the real world, and I can choose to be ejected into the real world via intention. While I am outside the pocket dimension, the time inside flows at 1/1 trillionth of the time on Earth

    1. A pocket dimension in the form of an fire opal ring in which I get to live as a protagonist in a magical battle world. It is replete with narrative direction that is perfectly suited to me, compelling enemies, larger than life combat, incredibly high threshold for skill expression in magic, arcanologically infinite sustainability of resources, and space for creative solutions. It places me central to the conflict and progress such that I am capable of pushing the world forward by solving problems and interacting with people. It is light-hearted like Pokemon as opposed to grimdark like Warhammer.
    2. A pocket dimension in the form of an ornate silver band in which I can activate a debug menu of real life. It has a UI, but can also be controlled like a lucid dream. I can play through contrived scenarios with people. I can pluck them from real life or create them myself. I can study with teachers and compete against peers of my choosing. I can choose slices of time and space from Earth's past to see what happened. My own avatar can be modified in size, shape, age, and engage in noclip. I can fly or teleport. The dimension has an automaton that can be summoned to help me think through what would be useful to interrogate about situations. It has a repository of save files for situations and knowledge that I choose to store. I do not want or need for material comfort in this dimension (addiction, hunger, thirst, bathroom, etc.).
    3. Practical immortality - I only age or die if I choose to. My memories are retained even during manipulation of my form. I can choose to regenerate or ahem degrade my body to any age I have attained. Any injury or illness sustained that would render me incapable of using my brain would instantly teleport me to the nearest city center with phone and wifi, clothed, out of danger, sober, clean, maxed out on material comforts, at age 25 with my two pocket dimension rings on either index finger. If a finger has been lost, the ring will be on the next finger over. If the hand is lost, then it will be in my pocket and still capable of being evoked. If, for some reason, there is no city center with both wifi and phone network, it will prioritize wifi and then phone, and if neither are available, then I will be teleported to the most populated city center on Earth. I will be equipped with a phone with three emergency contacts that is capable of using the local network, the equivalent of $300 USD in 2025 in the local currency, 10gb of wifi data, a valid passport, and a translation app if necessary. If I feel I am in danger or imprisoned I can choose to unstuck myself with this same effect. If I am imperiled upon respawn it will take me to the geographically next closest city over in the same conditions. Any injury, illness, or mental illness sustained can be regenerated via intention.

    • Oh pocket dimension is my wish too, though just a happy place where I can learn, heal, chill, cook and so on. Also ski and dive, but never be so happy I would prefer it to the real world.

  • Given that the others have already wishes for communism and all that good stuff I'm gunna go for some really small-target wishes

    Wish I didn't have adult acne like wtf I'm one foot in the grave and I still get pimples

    um, I'd like my stomach to not be messed up and that I could digest food properly

    I wish that my phone could run two apps at once and not just crash one of them so I can listen to a podcast and play a game at the same time

  • I'd probably wish for a good night's sleep, a productive work day, and something nice to eat.

    I should not be given genie wishes under any circumstances.

  • I want my foreskin back because I want the feelings they cut out of me at birth without my permission.

    I want gay marraige to be recognized in Indonesia so I can move there with my husband and fuck off of Amerikkka and live somewhere nice that doesn't have freezing cold and snow and not a conservative KKKristian shithole.

    I want enough money to live realtively comfortably to fuck off, enjoy the world, and not have to answer to a clock or a boss and office drama bullshit.

  • Make me bulletproof

    Give me legendary fighting skills

    ....put 3 in the pocket for later use

    I would just go around beating up cops

    I feel like this could've easily been the plot to Luke Cage if the writers weren't a bunch of fucking libs

    • Bulletproof is not taser, batton, fire, chemical, blunt force trauma proof.

      Just ask for practical immortality and you can do the same safer.

55 comments