my executive dysfunction might kill my dog
She ate something she shouldn't have and it's blocking her intestines. She has to have emergency surgery tomorrow morning and this is all my fault. If my house wasn't such a disaster, she wouldn't be in this mess.
I honestly don't deserve my pets because of this. I can hardly take care of myself. Idk why I thought pets were a good idea.
I don't mean to sound callous, but shit happens, especially with pets. Dogs are notorious for eating things they shouldn't, I assure you a dog could find something to get in to that they shouldn't and that could harm or even kill them even in the tidiest house.
Now if you'd said you didn't take her to her appointment, or didn't even call the vet, I'd have some harsh things to say, but you reacted and acted appropriately to an accident.
You did the right thing in a difficult situation, try not to beat yourself up over it or hold yourself up to an impossible (read: neurotypical) standard (easier said than done, I know), and be there for her as she recovers.
Yeah the only failure here would be if you medically neglect your dog.
It sounds like you're taking your dog to the vet. So you're doing what is best for the dog. Forgive yourself, the only thing any of us can do is what we can at the time. That's literally all you can do.
Now, if you stop taking the dog to the vet, that's not good. If you're feeling like you're not going to be taking the dog to the vet in the future that's something you should investigate.
People without ADHD have accidents where their dog eats something. You aren't a bad parent to your dog because an accident happened. All you.can do is try to improve from here.
Shit happens, and you try to improve from there.
Good luck to your dog.
Pets that eat things they shouldn't will find a way. Maybe this time it was something you left around, but it could have just as easily been something that blew into the yard, or something at the dog park, or them destroying one of their toys and then swallowing the pieces. It happens to dogs from perfectly clean houses all the time.
Until you know what was eaten, try to stop beating yourself up.
Dogs eat things. It's in their nature. If they eat a sock and it blocks them up, that's bad. But keeping all socks from them is tough. And they like to eat weird things.
Your job is to give them a good life and to try to keep them safe. You can't demand perfection from yourself, and if your dog could understand, they wouldn't blame you.
Finally, if you made a mistake, you can use this as a learning experience and do better in the future a bit. The alternative is closing yourself off to love out of fear.
I did this. One of my cats got out on New Years and was hit by a car.
Im the one who lets the dogs out, and he often snuck out when the dogs go out. I didn't notice.
I will always have to live with that.
But I'm reveling in the love I get from my other pets, not pushing them away.
I have a very tidy house yet my puppy is always finding stones and bark in the garden to chew on (despite having plenty of other toys). They love it, nothing you can do to stop it.
I honestly don’t deserve...
You don't deserve to be this hard on yourself... Maybe you're right, maybe you're wrong. This is the wake up call to make a good decision. I don't know you, but it seems from this post, that whatever you choose to do, it will be the right choice.
Keep the pet and make your home an even better place for it, or realize that it's not a right fit. With how you seem to feel, It seems that there is no third option in your mind to keep everything the same.
This stranger has faith in you.
This way of thinking only serves to punish yourself and does nothing to actually help your dog. Dogs get into stuff they shouldn't. The thing you were supposed to do is exactly what you did, get them to the vet when you realize they are sick. You have no way of knowing what life your dog would have had without you. Some people get dogs and deliberately abuse them. Some neglect them and leave them to starve, chained up in the yard. Some let them wander off-leash and get hit by cars. Some take perfect care of them, and the dog still gets sick from congenital issues or simple freak accident.
You cannot undo the past. You can only do your best to be there for your dog now. Let the vets do their work, and trust that they want her to get through this just as much as you do. And I hope she does get through it. It's out of your hands now.
What you can do is assume she will come through it and plan out how to give her an even better future. If a particular part of keeping house is difficult, ask a trusted friend or relative to come over and hang out while you work on it, and remind you what you're supposed to be doing if you get distracted or lose steam. If something would be easier to do with a specific tool, buy that tool. If you can keep the mess localized in one part of the house, buy a toddler gate to restrict your dog's access. Get a set of clothes that are your 'cleaning suit.' Wear it when you clean. If you need to clean, put it on. Wash one dish. Pick up one piece of litter. That first step is the hard one. Make it easier on yourself.
You can't rewire the human brain, but you can plan around it. Make an effort to try and do a little better, and forgive yourself when you fall short. Piling negativity and blame onto yourself may feel perversely correct, even righteous, but it doesn't actually solve the problem. Be pragmatic in the extreme. Meet yourself where you're at, not where you think you ought to be.
I believe in you.
OP I believe everything will work out for your furry friend :)
I have adhd myself so I totally get it. What works for me, and your mileage may vary, is I live my life based on alarms and calander. Alarms aren’t turned off until I’m about to begin my task. As for the calander I have blue/purple for when the event task needs to be done for personal life and school respectively and then have those same events in yellow if I have time to get to it today and orange is I have to do it today. I use it mostly for school events but it makes me feel less overwhelmed and able to break up tasks.
Like I said this is what works for me. Another thing I do if it’s immediate is set a timer for 30 seconds, that’s enough to get me up and moving because it’s something external saying “hey get up” as opposed to me telling myself that which doesn’t hold much power
Once again I’m sure your buddy will be fine!
Edit: typo
That sounds very stressful, I hope your dog recovers quickly and that you're not too hard on yourself.
This happens to the most neat-freak dog owners too; dogs can find bad things to eat while on a walk, or by chewing something they shouldn't.
Being angry at past you also won't help future you or your dog. Figure out a way to improve things instead, preferably something that doesn't rely on you never making a mistake.
I don't know your situation, but perhaps you could have someone help you, or have friends over regularly so you're motivated to tidy up, or make part of your house dog safe and keep the mess contained?
You discovered the problem in time, and you took her for prompt veterinary care. You absolutely deserve your pets!
The only thing more aggressively suicidal than a dog/cat is a human toddler. It's impossible to stop your pets from getting into everything.
My cats have eaten more than their share of plastic, mainly because my natural state is "wasn't there something in my hand a minute ago? Where could it be? And what could it possibly have been?! Ooh look I see snacks!" Luckily they've always horked it back up, but I worry that one day they won't puke in time.
So, I try to be careful not to set down plastic, even going so far as to mutter, "Don't open your hand. Go to the trash. Do NOT open your HAND. You are going to the trash. After that come back and
<finish the thing>
. DO NOT OPEN your stupid HAND! You are going to the trash can. Then go back and<finish the thing>
. But first the trash can. But DON'T open......" and so on, for the entire time it takes me to throw the thing away and (ideally) return to what I was doing.It takes enormous effort to keep the house perfectly safe. Making housekeeping my hobby didn't work well for me. So instead I know my pets and their normal behaviors, keep a good pet insurance policy, and call the vet when there's anything weird that's taking too long to resolve.
You're giving your pets a much better life than they'd have at the shelter. So, yes, you DO deserve them, and they deserve you.
“Idk why I thought pets were a good idea” … because you deserve to be loved.
