Sorry for being late on this, but I saw some decrepit struggle sessoin from a while ago and wanted to add on. Also I want to make sure everybody on this site knows, especially with the new bluesky folks arriving, but NOBODY SHOULD FEEL BAD FOR INCELS.
You seriously have no excuse. There are actual adults who partake in this shit. I have been rejected and/or dumped by everybody I have shown romantic interested in, and not once in my life has it ever, EVER crossed my mind (nat even once) that, "oh, gee! i get it now! it's those dumb women that are the problem!" because it isn't hard to have a shred of fucking empathy and realise that people have free will, and you aren't entitled to anything, ESPECIALLY NOT PEOPLE. I cannot stress this enough,
INCELS THINK THEY ARE ENTITLED TO PEOPLE. HUMAN BEINGS
I don't care how much you think men get rejected more than women do (not true at all), or if society supposedly just made them this way (re: people have free will), or any justification you have to be nice to incels, THEY DO NOT DESERVE IT. THEY SHOULD LEARN TO TREAT PEOPLE AS HUMANS, NOT AS SEX TOYS.
tl;dr, if you're an incel, disrespectfully fuck off and die.
I think a lot of people hear incel and think “socially awkward young man” and relate to them. Those people need to realize that incel is more than just the sob story narrative that incels paint about the world. Their ideological is fundamentally reactionary and misogynistic.
At the risk of summoning UlyssesT to kick my ass for using this comparison, I view incels and fascists like zombies. I have sympathy for the children they once were and the people they could have been, but once the change happens it's just a waste of feeling, and you can only think about who they want to hurt.
you fail to understand that the average Hexbear can ignite a site-wide struggle session over a single (or even a couple) comment. this is our power comrade.
never forget this site had a week-long struggle session about outdoor cats because one person made a comment saying that they trap outdoor cats in their neighborhood and get them neutered/spayed. (that is not verbatim but it was along those lines lmao)
I tried to ignite a cat vs dog struggle sesh, multiple times, just because someone dared to suggest cats are better because they don’t yap nearly as much as dogs.
I will keep doing it until I get this issue stickied, because I’m sicko thunder
I don't specifically remember that one. I i was involved somehow and I wasn't sure what it was. I think it was over some ancillary point. Or maybe I just missed it.
there's incels and then there's incels and if someone hasn't figured out that the hexbear definition of incel is exclusively the ideological ones it's a great way to get 200+ comments.
is there a pithy or meme style difference between an incel and someone who got shot down a few times? I feel like some of the more rancid incel ideology is obfuscated and smuggled in with more relatable and healthy if not fun stories about getting rebuffed. delineating between 'incel' and 'someone who is sad that she said no' would be helpful for providing an offramp away from inceldom to men in the pipeline
This language is gunna sound abstracted, so apologies in advance. Incels treat human relationships as, to a large degree, calculable and transactional. Attractiveness can be quantified (women can be rated on a scale of 1 to 10). Time and money invested has an expected output. Women seek a positive return on investment with a potential romantic or sexual partner. An incel's goal is to reach that 'minimum rung' and when they find out that relationships also have an emotional component it doesn't fit into their calculus and their reaction to rejection is violent and abhorrent. They accuse women of not following the rules or playing the game properly. I would argue that men who subscribe to the above and still occasionally or regularly have sexual encounters are still incels. It's capitalist realism applied to human relationships.
Edit (I do think this is just one element of inceldom though and doesn't cover other aspects of white supremacy/patriarch etc. so I think my summary is reductive, but as for how PUA/online inceldom instrumentalises and proslytises itself is this 'man does x woman must do y' equations'. The ideology behind it is a black box that ties in the rest of the whole shit show)
Isn't that also just the broader manosphere ideology, the only difference being "there's no hope", rather than the rest of the manosphere, who believes the "system" can be gamed?
Fuck incels. They are some of the lowest dregs of human society. These fucking morons never consider for a second that maybe, JUST MAYBE, their actions are what cause them to be undesirable for other people. Be it their personality, their hygiene, or their actions. But no, instead it's my fault for being a woman. Go to hell. I hope you die lonely.
However, that's not to say dating and relationships arent incredibly dystopian these days under late capital. The fact that many ways to meet partners are monetized and gamefied is still something we can and should critique.
But that's (importantly) not saying incels are right in any way shape or form, since they feel entitled to a partner, rather than frustrated at material conditions (something that would be justifiable). Ironically, in their nostalgia for trad life they become idealists par excellence, missing out on all the material conditions that also make the "trad" life impossible.
SORRY FOR BEING LATE ON THIS, BUT I SAW SOME DECREPIT STRUGGLE SESSOIN FROM A WHILE AGO AND WANTED TO ADD ON. ALSO I WANT TO MAKE SURE EVERYBODY ON THE SITE KNOWS, ESPECIALLY WITH THE NEW BLUESKY FOLKS ARRIVING, BUT NOBODY SHOULD FEEL BAD FOR INCELS.
YOU SERIOUSLY HAVE NO EXCUSE. THERE ARE ACTUAL ADULTS WHO PARTAKE IN THIS SHIT. I HAVE BEEN REJECTED AND/OR DUMPED BY EVERYBODY I HAVE SHOWN ROMANTIC INTERESTED IN, AND NOT ONCE IN MY LIFE HAS IT EVER, EVER CROSSED MY MIND (NAT EVEN ONCE) THAT, "OH, GEE! I GET IT NOW! IT'S THOSE DUMB WOMEN THAT ARE THE PROBLEM!" BECAUSE IT ISN'T HARD TO HAVE A SHRED OF FUCKING EMPATHY AND REALISE THAT PEOPLE HAVE FREE WILL, AND YOU AREN'T ENTITLED TO ANYTHING, ESPECIALLY NOT PEOPLE. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH,
INCELS THINK THEY ARE ENTITLED TO PEOPLE. HUMAN BEINGS
I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH YOU THINK MEN GET REJECTED MORE THAN WOMEN DO (NOT TRUE AT ALL), OR IF SOCIETY SUPPOSEDLY JUST MADE THEM THIS WAY (RE: PEOPLE HAVE FREE WILL), OR ANY JUSTIFICATION YOU HAVE TO BE NICE TO INCELS, THEY DO NOT DESERVE IT. THEY SHOULD LEARN TO TREAT PEOPLE AS HUMANS, NOT AS SEX TOYS.
TL;DR, IF YOU'RE AN INCEL, DISRESPECTFULLY FUCK OFF AND DIE.
I feel "sorry" for the people who were sucked into that stuff young, and never had healthy relationships with women. It's less a "oh, poor them" and more "wow, what a lot of wasted potential. You could've been a decent human being and now look at you."
I got dumped a month ago and I don't even blame my ex, let alone all women
Not her fault, things just didn't work out but that's fine and I wish her well
Once it became a movement, incel ideology became like a cancer and grew like one but just like cancer there are causes
On some level I theorize that incels came into existence as a sort of waste byproduct of patriarchy and late stage capitalism but similar shit could be said about fascists and we damn well shouldn't be sympathetic to them either
Being nice to entitled men just invites more at-risk dudes to start thinking that way. It needs to be socially unacceptable. We need to be like Gandalf banishing Wormtongue from Theoden’s hall. At the first hint of entitlement, bully the shit out of them. Raise the barrier of entry. Like how demonizing communism means there are fewer communists.
I vehemently disagree. Do not fuck incels until they make something of themselves and see you as a human being and an equal. Also the existence of free will is absolutely not proven philosophically or scientifically. No further objections, the rest is obviously true.
I think the funniest thing about incels is that women get hornt for monsters, rat looking guys, danny davito. Buddy is sitting here obsessing over some minor physical flaw when a goul on fallout is the hottest men on TV. I mean, it is clearly some kind of mental illness that got tribalized. So that sucks that being easily proven wrong doesn't effect their delusions.
I think the article that people were posting about had a stance of "you shouldn't have a concept of an inherent/essential stratification of sexual 'value' amongst men [or anyone], because that is the same idea that fuels incels".
Most people who are sexually frustrated should be reachable with assertions like "no one is universally unfuckable", "attractiveness is subjective and heavily based on personality", "there's a flip side of people who won't consider you, which is people you wouldn't consider", "there is no one who is objectively better to date, only people who are subjectively better for you" and "there is no perfect match for you, everyone in this world and it's okay to be short of perfect". If they don't accept any of this, then they have chosen to be horrible on the inside and should be pilloried as such.
It's also worth saying that the internet makes this worse. If your reference point is the people around you that you interact with, it's more likely that you'll adapt to them. If your reference point is this abstract idea of what relational success looks like, based on images that you do not interact with, backed up by a bunch of stories about other people's relational failures or non-starters, you're more likely to develop a self-hating nihilistic approach to your own sexuality.