The Holy? bible

https://youtu.be/67Vg9EYy4c0?si=MJ8LpnhzW9ksM1gF

I got about 30 seconds in before my brain started frantically attempting to exit my skull.
- Tbh, the same applies to the bible in geneal
I love that he marked it (ASMR) 😄
remove ?si and everything after it
- omg drain worm enjoyer :)
  there's more than one on lemmy 👀
- gather that glob of text, https://redirect.invidious.io/watch?v=[glob] (no square brackets)
https://youtu.be/67Vg9EYy4c0 without trackers.
- oh there's still plenty. https://redirect.invidious.io/watch?v=67Vg9EYy4c0 has less
When he says "idiot" I could swear I'm listening to Napoleon Dynamite reading the bible.
Doing the Lord’s work here!
lol I absolutely love it
I hear Kevin Murphy

"Youtuber Kevin Tots here, today we're going to find out which is more powerful: this AR16 sport rifle or the holy words of the king james bible."

gunshots

"As you can see the bible didn't stand a chance."

What happens if you play it backwards?

Believe it or not you actually summon Jesus.
- Sweet. I can turn all this extra oregano into something fun.
- Or a very suspicious Edward James.

You can tell this tape was made by Satan. It has at least four sides. If that isn't evil magic I don't know what is

We had a blind woman at our church in the 90s. We got her copies of the Bible on tape and in braille and those fuckers are huge. She would have loved CDs.

On the other side is me reading the Gnostic book of Thomas and the book of Mary.

Big fan of the Gospel of Judas. The classic anti-hero story!
- It makes so much sense, ever since reading it I can't see the biblical story any other way.

Oh man, come on. It's not that bad. The Gospels are an enjoyable read. I also like 1 John, I wish more Christians read this one. But they'd rather behave like Pharisees...

I say this as a life-long atheist: a decent translation plus a decent reader can make the more poetic parts of the Bible worth hearing, especially since much of it was adapted from oral history, so it was adapted from stories that were originally told aloud anyway. It's no different to me than the Odyssey or the Beowulf in that sense.
All the begats and the crazy prophecies are still quite the slog though.
For example, I haven't heard this particular one, but I bet it's absolutely worth a listen:
Possibly not all 17 hours' worth though. I hope the poor guy didn't have to do it over just a couple of weeks of recording.
Edit: I'd definitely give this a listen too. He would really bring out the bloodthirsty parts.
Edit 2: Holy shit, he did it with the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra providing the soundtrack. I'm sorry, if you don't find this entertaining no matter what you believe, I don't know what to say...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56wxqjvp4HA
- Ughhhhh the begats!!! People back then really cared about genealogies huh? I like Mark's Gospel, short, concise, straight to the point. I found it inspiring even when I was an atheist!
  Matthew and Luke certainly do require more faith of course. But Mark can be enjoyed by anyone.
  Not the biggest fan of the KJV but thanks. I'll check it out :)
- For what it's worth, Job is so out of place, I'm not even sure if that guy existed lol. It seems that it was meant to be poetry in the original Hebrew.
- Hey I found the narrations on YouTube, nice!

wholesome.

True tbh

How to improve the Bible: not like this.

Reminds me of the podcast Thomas Smith and the Bible.