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chapotraphouse @hexbear.net hypercracker @hexbear.net 2 mo. ago

If you're more than 31 years old

then half the people living today are younger than you are. World's median age is around 31. Imagine all those people who have seen less than you, learned less than you. By a slight margin they make up the bulk of humanity. Congrats on becoming an elder. Go teach them what you know.

My source: the literal CIA world factbook which I will not link here

31 comments

Congrats on becoming an elder. Go teach them what you know.

But I don’t know anything
- And others know even less than you. This is the way of the world and the context in which we must continually mold it!
  
  ”context” and “in which” in the same sentence
  
  GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
I keep trying to teach them things but they keep telling me I have L rizz and negative aura and that I need to become a skibbity sigma rizzler.
- How can you teach if you're not first willing to learn?
  
  I watched all the videos about a head coming out of a toilet and I still don't get it.
  
  This shit is more confusing than Hegel!
We're closer to the end of humanity than we are to the invention of flight

Are these the things I should be teaching or too doomer for the zoomers? 🤔
Lol way to make some of us feel fuxking old
- go back to watching pokemon cards moving cash on antique roadshow
  
  ... does that actually happen?
- See, I'm one of those folks who just keep moving the goalposts of what young means to include them too.
The median age in the United States is 38, which is the highest it's ever been. That makes some of us the most middle-aged people of all time.
but the things they need to know are not the things i know

i guess i could start learning how to distill water from human beings and build deep-earth bunkers
yes, i will teach the young ones how to become a pathetic sexless loser, how to be dead broke unemployed and living with your parents as a 'middle aged' adult, and how to obsess over niche sci fi military topics to the point where they cannot have a normal conversation with literally any person.
- Don’t say things to yourself that you wouldn’t say to a friend!
Wow thanks for the existential anxiety
- Permanently Deleted
I will teach the children how to torrent
Me, 31, letting the "more than" in the title restore my youthfulness 😌
Guess I should get planning my mid life crisis.
Preemptive apologies to the next generation.
Does that mean I'm half way done?
- Tomorrow is not promised!
I'm 31 and have mostly seen the inside of my bedroom tbh... and lots of weird shit on the computer
If any kids want to learn how to smoke cigars, please message me.

But, seriously, damn, that's some pressure. I hope I can pass on something good.

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