so I'm at my favorite fictional club, and I ask the DJ to put on a specific Classical Composer's music

Don't get too discouraged. You'll be Bach.

Don't Ravel on it too much. Im sure he'll get Handel Bach on the entry Lizst.

depending on a few factors, you may be horrified or delighted to find a Wolfgang. present.

Orff course not...

They don't have Mozartists.

Don't go Bach