Poop Knife

Now we're shitposting

The article actually exists

But why does it

In his 1953 autobiography, Danish explorer Peter Freuchen claimed that in 1926, he became trapped in a blizzard while running a dog team and was forced to take shelter under his sled for 30 hours while snow built up and froze around him. When he tried to emerge, he found he was entombed in ice and unable to break free with his hands alone. Thinking quickly, he took a shit right there, shaped the turd into a chisel, and allowed it to freeze solid. He then claims he was able to use his newly made tool to chip his way free and make it back to camp. Peter was the only witness to his supposed escape. The study mentions it's based on an Inuit ethnographic account, however. Maybe Peter, having spent much time in the Arctic with Inuit peoples simply took the story for himself. With the runners of the study finding that they were unable to replicate such a technique, it lends credibility to the claim that story may have been fabricated.
- With the runners of the study finding that they were unable to replicate such a technique, it lends credibility to the claim that story may have been fabricated.
  
  ah, but did they eat what he ate beforehand?
- Bro thought an inuit joke was real.
Because sometimes you just have to find out.
Sometimes you just got to know.

In conclusion, the results support the hypothesis that fecal knives are usually shitty knives

-- the paper, probably

This is not the poop knife I was expecting

Years go by but the internet legend lives on.

Dunno about that science article, but I bought a poop knife a while ago and it works great!
Scissors are more practical in any case.

totally busted

I should rewatch Mythbusters.
- They're on YouTube.
I would watch videos fact checking these knives, I think I saw a chocolate knife or cardboard knife
Permanently Deleted

I have accidentally picked up a dried cat turd when younger, thinking it was rock. It was a bit fragile, easily break into dust. I realized it because it was not as heavy as an actual rock of the same size.

Based on that, my unscientific conclusion is that even if it's frozen, it'll be hard to shape and easily breaks because it behaves more like dust/sand instead of cream.

The alleged knife would be frozen, not dried. It would be much like the ice he was enclosed in

Use urine instead. Make an ice pee-k.

I make it into a iurine-ice-bullet.. untraceable

That hypthesis turned out to be shit.

Davis states that the original source of the tale was Olayuk Narqitarvik. It was allegedly Olayuk's grandfather in the 1950s who refused to go to the settlements and thus fashioned a knife from his own feces to facilitate his escape by skinning and disarticulating a dog. Davis has admitted that the story could be “apocryphal”, and that initially he thought the Inuit who told him this story was “pulling his leg”.

That's a long payoff for a practical joke, but totally worth it.

Also, unsurprisingly, they won the 2020 Ig Nobel Prize in Materials Science (lol) for this one (video of the ceremony, Ig Nobel "lecture" from the lead author (also the primary pooper))

Gonna need a meta-analysis to be sure

Appropriate content for the publisher

I like that it took 7 researchers to do this study. It shows commitment to the cause.

I don't think that this is the type of project you can go in "half-assed." You need both cheeks for this.
Might as well get paid grant money for poop time.