Protip, expectant parents: ear defenders. Loop earplugs. Whatever. Buy them NOW
My baby is 6 weeks old. I’ve been planning to buy some loop earplugs “soon”. Well she just discovered a kind of cry that reverberates in my amygdala, so “soon” was NOT SOON ENOUGH.
Sigh. I’m gonna buy loops once my partner is awake. Yknow, so I can ask what colour he wants his in…
Eta for context! Loops and ear defenders specifically don’t block all noise, they just reduce the decibels of loud sounds. So using them means you can be more physically present for a baby with colic (and probably other fun ailments that happen later) longer before you need to step away from your nerves being fried. This is especially life-saving for neurodivergent parents, obviously, but I’d bet most parents get stressed and tetchy during certain cries.
Tl;dr still always reply to your baby when they cry! And it’s okay to use tools that make the experience gentler on yourself.
Ear plugs =/= can’t hear. Loops specifically are designed to allow you to hear but not have hearing damage.
My baby is colicky AF and will scream while we’re in the process of making her a bottle. Or while we’re burping her. Or when we have to pull the bottle away to wipe spit up. Or while we’re in the process of soothing her but not soothed yet.
I’m pretty patient (with children, not judgy parents though) but I’m not perfect. I can parent better and be more present while not massively overwhelmed by a noise designed by evolution to be horrible and intolerable.
Lol. Votes from non-parents and parents who didn't have a child with colick.
A parent should absolutely ignore it, after doing the checklist of basic needs, and after calling for, and while waiting for, whatever additional help is available to them.
A ragged worn out parent isn't any use to the child, and also isn't particularly safe for the child to be near.
A screaming baby is rarely in any immediate danger. It takes strength to scream. That's generally a good sign. If the baby can scream bloody murder, it can afford to wait a few minutes for a more thoughtful reaction to it's needs.
Babies screams evolved to get everyone human in the area off their asses. But babies don't actually know what is a crisis and what isn't. Those are both good and normal things, but the combination is often overwhelming.
Once an adult human has determined that no crisis is impending for the next few minutes, it's time to put the fussy baby down and get some rest and relief.
I use earbuds, they let in a lot of noise but do make it manageable, and i can listen to podcasts while putting baby to sleep. But i usually have it in one ear only.