ID: Drawing of a duck billed platypus underwater, they're wearing a rainbow coloured t shirt and a pink bum-bag, and saying: "Ally is not something you can self-identify as, it's a title that you earn. Let your actions speak for themselves!"
You're right, it sucks being told how you can and can't identify. The purpose of the post seems to be to motivate allies to take more action to help. But I agree that the phrasing is problematic.
Just keep being supportive of LGBT people in real life and ignore random memes online. I consider wearing a pin as an action that qualifies as an ally. It's looking like LGBT people might need more help than just a pin with the way governments are heading.
Also if you are dealing with people online, consider that they may be bots or trolls who may not even be LGBT purposely attempting to cause division.
The point is - if it's for your sister... Ask your sister.
The feeling of "What am I supposed to do?" is totally natural, and something you have in common with a lot of queer people. The simple answer is "Your best".
"I have a marginalised sister who I want to support, but a generalised post on the internet that I took as a personal attack (if the shoe fits ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ) hurt my feelings by not prioritising them above her oppression and the oppression of those like her, and didn't make sure to centre me and praise me for my minimal empathy every step of the way, so now I'm not gonna! I'M tHe rEaL vIctiM hEre! sToP oPprEsSiNg mE!!!11" 🙄
You self identified allies just can't fucking help but out yourselves, can you?
They necro'd a reply of mine as well with a similar statement, and I never even suggested any sort of stance or affiliation on the topic. I didn't respond.
That person wants you to tell them what to do. They're looking to you as a leader. Embrace the opportunity to make change by being a good leader who gives clear instructions.
I am not interested in leading anyone, and my life, and the lives of marginalised people in general aren't a fucking educational opportunity. We are not obligated to invest endless time and energy, which we are already deprived of due to having to fight just to exist, to earn that right to exist from those more privileged than us.
If they genuinely want to be good allies, literally all they have to do is open a search engine and start looking through the endless information that already exists out there and start from there, instead of demanding it be spoon fed directly too them by the people directly impacted (and therefore fatigued), especially after they've shown zero initiative or interests in educating themselves.
especially after they've shown zero initiative or interests in educating themselves.
That's literally what they're trying to do right here and now and your spitting in their faces. Maybe don't post memes about how to be an ally if you don't want to actually help anyone be an ally, it's more counterproductive to your cause than the apathetic allies you're bemoaning.
What did they even say? I think they deleted their account or got perma banned from their instance because I can't even find their account on their instance now.
They just asked what they could do to help be an ally, but it turns out the post OP is just a concern troll and doesn't actually give a shit about allyship.