Friends, please help me out with this frustrating issue. There are green crosshair highlights showing up every time I click on a cell in an Excel spreadsheet (the row and column corresponding to that particular cell are automatically highlighted). It's extremely distracting, and what baffles me is that many of the online solutions and videos are not helping! I have tried pressing Escape many times, have tried this after rebooting device and Excel application, clear conditional formatting. Further, I am not seeing any of the "Enable Pointer Shadow" or other setting descriptions under my Excel Advanced Display options, contrary to the instructions provided on Chatgpt and Youtube videos. Thank you for any help you can share!
Thank you so much for your advice! Your comment reminded me of a rather key moment that happened:
He and his friend picked a guy to matchmake me with, I said he’s not my type, to which my crush asked “who is your type?” but I didn’t get a chance to respond because his friend interrupted. Right after that, he called me bro again, and I asked him straight up “Do you see me as a bro?” He clammed up and seemed like he wanted to say something more, but just said “What?” while smiling after a silence, and I said “What?” back. At one point, we were almost cuddling and his voice got cute/soft; he also initiated a hug late that night.
I like the idea of asking our mutual friend to help me out and ask him directly if he's interested in me that way. I've already chatted with his friend, hinting at my feelings, but I haven't asked him to open the dialogue on their side. His friend seems very supportive and said that we would be a cute couple together. For additional context, he also did mention that the earliest he will start dating is after this strenuous work period which goes until mid-December. Given the timeline, do you think this should be as soon as the work wraps up right before the holidays, or wait until next year? Not sure if I can keep waiting in frustration especially wanting to make the most of the time off.
Dear friends, please be kind with me and help after reading full post for context. I really thought this one would be different. We met several months ago, started off as friends, and he's been giving me mixed signals from the start, partially due to intense career related demands. He's under a lot of stress at this turning point in his career - as am I, though not to the same extent. However, this confusing push and pull has been hurting me - more than it's bothering him, if I may add.
Example of mixed signals: Months before we got swamped with work, he asked me point blank if I'm single and I said yes. A few weeks later, we left an event together late at night and he hugged me for the 1st time, invited me over for water which I politely declined, and asked me to text him when I got home which I did. Then, nothing happened for some time and I initiated a group get-together, to which he agreed but called me "mom" as I'm the only female in this group with his bros. This is a point of insecurity as he alluded to me being quite older - even though I'm only two years older. I did appreciate that he admitted to not having an official relationship before. He also calls me "bro" or "dude", claiming it slips out. A few weeks later, we had a call since I needed to confide in him about a peer; he was understanding/supportive.
Then work severely ramped up, and I waited weeks, not reaching out and trying to give us both space. We bumped into each other, then I hinted that we were going separate directions if heading home, to which he said he's going for a run. I said that sounds fun, and we brainstormed other date-like ideas of what to do (mostly me being excited about it). I realized this clearly wasn't him asking me on a date, as he invited his friend to join last minute for the run...He did mention that the earliest he will start dating is after this strenuous work period which goes until mid-December. A week later, I reached out to see if he was attending an event; he declined but his friends showed up. That's when I thought I should get over him as it was going nowhere and hurting me. We didn't talk/see each other for over a month, and I was nearly over it. He is so rarely the one to rekindle the flame, and I find that I'm investing in him repeatedly, double-texting, etc, although he does show up here and there. Then we bumped into each other at an event where he split a cookie with me, asking me what my weekend plans were. I had a swamped schedule so I said maybe the 1-week break that we had coming up right after that weekend instead. I was hoping he would follow up, he didn't, and I was exhausted of continuously bearing the weight so I took some alone time. Weeks later, I bumped into him again and gave him a sweet, intimate hug to try to spell it out to him that I haven't given up. He hugged me back and seemed receptive.
I finally decided to plan a get-together for this same group (him and his friends). Over the months, I already chatted with his friend, hinting at my feelings, but not asking him to talk about this with my crush directly. His friend seems supportive and said that we would be a cute couple. His other friend also told me directly that he thinks we would be cute together. They all showed up but I was thrown off when he was cracking inappropriate sexual jokes and acting like I was a bro...It was so weird and not what I expected at all. I get that they were deprived of social events and maybe felt comfortable thinking up sexual innuendos, but it was relentless. We also saw each other at events the next 2 consecutive days, both of which I asked if he was attending. There were other people there too so he was much more mature and composed. He and his friend picked a guy to match me with, I said he's not my type, to which my crush asked "who is your type?" but I didn't get a chance to respond because his friend interrupted. Right after that, he called me bro again, and I asked him straight up "Do you see me as a bro?" He clammed up and seemed like he wanted to say something more, but just said "What?" with a smile after a silence, and I said "What?" back. At one point, we were almost cuddling and his voice got cute/soft; he initiated a hug late that night. Still unsure of his feelings, I decided to put myself out there and figured we waited long enough. I called him 3 days later. He didn't pick up and texted an hour later: "hey what's up sorry for missing your call". I texted back "no worries just wanted to say hi and chat, we can catch up when you're free". He ghosted me, not a word or reaction to my text. He then proceeded to say Happy Holidays in our group chat after his friend did (I think he may have told him what happened and sought help). I saw someone post photos of him happy at an event, while I was crying at home wondering what I did to deserve his silent treatment.
I'm not naive when it comes to relationships. I get that he's inexperienced and somewhat immature, currently emotionally unavailable, probably wanting time to process his own thoughts/feelings, not the person I thought he was, or maybe I'm a hopeless romantic. But I do not understand why it's so damn difficult for someone who is supposed to be my good friend, with some silver lining for more, to send me a 2-second text saying he's busy but maybe another time. That text would be better than leaving me in the dark, speculating if he will come to his senses and call/text, or do nothing and let me down. I was so bummed, on the holiday no less.
Is it time to let him go? Is there any hope for a relationship here or am I kidding myself? Which one of the reasons do you think is causing him to ghost me? Should I text him again, explaining how it feels on the receiving side, or just let it be? There's a really special event in the springtime that I've wanted him to be at - should I stay friends with him after giving myself time/space to get over him or focus on inviting others? Thank you!
Thank you so much. I agree and it's just that we have to be on good terms with one another in this program and be nice on the surface even if maybe we don't like certain people. Question now is what should I, and we collectively as a group, do? If you can share insight on my questions in the post specifically regarding next steps, it will be so helpful.
Thank you for sharing. Does that change at all if we are not currently at a workplace as in a company, but it is still a professional career-oriented program? I'm really not sure where else I am supposed to find a partner if not at a place where everyone is around the same age and well-rounded, especially when there's this time constraint. Dating is difficult!
I agree, thank you for sharing!
Any advice or suggestions on how to handle this situation? It is getting increasingly weirder and I want to do what I can to salvage it or at least not be distracted by all this.
There are two girls. One is the mystery girl he said he thinks he likes. She's not as important in this context. Ann, the girl I was closer to in the beginning, is the one that I have an issue with now. She got too comfortable and started spewing negativity in the group text we share with this other female friend of ours (not mentioned in post). She complained a lot so I responded less and less. She always tried to get our mutual friend to listen to her and actively went against my suggestions because she herself is so insecure. She said hi from behind me but I didn't see who she was with (it was Bob/Ed and she didn't bother to even clue me in, knowing I would've wanted to say hi). She never sits with the guys when I initiate it, but always likes to sit with them when she herself brings them together. After I created this chat, which by the way was so spontaneous and based on the guys I was sitting with (which I thought she was going to join us too), she then lied about sitting with our mutual friend in a class whereas that did not happen. So I think that's enough strikes and it doesn't mean crap if we happened to spend a bit of time before even officially starting the program.
I know it's confusing but I feel the need to clarify after reading your comment. Thank you for sharing first of all. It was not that I wanted to exclude her due to competition over him. In fact, I asked him enthusiastically wanting to know who he liked at that time, and therefore who he was considering bringing in. We were basically bros at that point and I hadn't thought of him that way at all. He didn't want to speak too soon and said he'll see how things unfold. I actually figured it out later on, when she was flirting with one of the guys from our group, and vice versa. He saw all of this and looked pretty bummed. So I would be a hypocrite if I expected drama free space with the bros yet actively instigated drama, which I do not believe I am? Just trying to understand, based on the definition of hypocrisy.
So, should I tell them the truth? Or at least the one I like? I did mention that I spent more time with them in the past before I had a chance to branch out more and meet new people which is what I always like to do.
Thank you so much! I'm afraid the updates might change your take? It's a personal group text with all of them, and it's getting weird. I don't know how to salvage this. I want to be friends and stay professional overall, while tapping into potential with the guy I like, but then again I don't know if it's time for me to just distance myself from the group. He also doesn't really text me individually and hasn't asked me to spend time one on one, so I fear the group text prevents this.
I would certainly say so. I've added more context above and my head gets jumbled when I meet with the guys. I do feel this awkwardness stemming from how the group text started, and pressure to add a girl, and that we're all just trying to make it work. But I'm not sure if it's just me reading too much into it or my romantic feelings getting in the way? What should I do, and should I explain the behind the scenes context or will that make things worse?
Please see updates in the post. I would really appreciate your advice here!
Based on this, I might have more specific follow-up questions. Please be kind with me as this program just started, and we are all really just trying to create friend groups as efficiently as possible and have good intentions, before everyone gets set in their ways so to speak. Thank you!
EDIT: One of the guys (Bob) suggested that we create a group text (aka chat). So I made one, including 5 of my guy friends but excluding 2 girls that I was closer to before and want to now distance from (obviously didn't state this explicitly as we have to be "PC", but the context is she kept spamming/complaining in our girls' chat, is very phony, and once lied to me after this chat was formed, which they know nothing about as she puts on a facade for them). Bob and one of the other guys (Ed), are friends with one of the girls (Ann), so they were unhappy but ultimately went along with it. Then 2 other guys got added to the chat. After a week or so, 2 of my closest guy friends in this chat (one of which I'm starting to develop feelings for) asked me about those girls I used to hang out with and that we should add more girls to our chat. I said there's no drama; I just spent more time with them in the past before I had a chance to branch out and meet new people which I always like to do. I'm unsure if they feel this way specifically because of Bob/Ed wanting Ann to join, or since nearly all of the single guys were competing for my attention at some point and giving me somewhat romantic signals. I'm generally friendly so guys sometimes can't tell if I like them romantically or am just being "nice". I've been cautious about liking the guys' messages and haven't even really done so but I do actively respond when they initiate topics. We left it at: we'll brainstorm which girls to add. This was before I started liking him, so he said he wanted to add a girl that he thinks he likes but not yet. He didn't update back, possibly as we've recently started seeing each other differently as well.
Recently, I got pulled into a get-together with Bob/Ed where they didn't tell me who was coming so I basically went in blindly, and Ann was behaving like the host. A few other guys from our group were there but not my closest friends, weirdly enough. It was very uncomfortable, and I had to act like it was fine. To make things weirder, Bob made a group text with only those who attended this event, asking everyone to text when they got home (we drank a lot but I think this was a silly excuse to form a new group chat where she's the center of attention). I was unhappy and don't know if I should confide in the guy I like about all of this. Idk how much he knows, or how close he really is to these other guys. A lot of politics. Then, someone who's good friends with the one I like asked in the chat to meet today, and we 3 all went, along with Ed and a guy who was at the weird event. I feel like Ed and that guy are always colluding to bring Ann in, disregarding how I feel and my preferences - even if they don't know the actual reasons.
Wasn't it inappropriate for them to basically play me like that and not just tell me upfront about Ann? And create a stupid group text, which she has continued to blow up? Should I talk to the guy I like about all of this, or I'm afraid he'll think it's too much drama? Should I explain about her complaints/lies, or just be PC and ignore the new chat? Shouldn't they respect my preferences instead of pressuring me to add a girl because what is so wrong with enjoying a chat with the bros (even if one isn't seen as platonic now)? Or should I just add a different girl I like better, even if it risks getting awkward (e.g. she judges me for talking to so many guys or they don't gel)? Or should I disengage from this group and be polite from a distance? I don't know how to salvage this. I want to be friends and stay professional overall, while tapping into potential with the guy I like, but I don't know if it's time for me to just distance myself. He also hasn't really initiated private texts with me nor asked me to spend time one on one, and I fear the group text prevents this. Please help me out, all!
Thank you for sharing. I'm worried about the extremely awkward conversation I had with Bob and that he will harp on that rather than the hugs thing when talking to his friend. That conversation sent everything in a spiral and became this huge pain point that can undermine my friendship with his friend (most important to me out of all this), more than the hugs themselves. Ugh I hate that this happened and am afraid of the consequences or that it'll change all dynamics. Won't his friend feel like I'm hiding something or not being honest if I don't proactively communicate with him? Or, would this be a don't tell if he doesn't ask? Is it more likely that bringing this up will open a new box of problems and backfire?
Thank you for sharing. I'm struggling because his friend is one of my closest friends, and I don't want to jeopardize that. I feel like I did start to get emotionally attached during my deep conversation with his friend yesterday. Do you think it's not a good idea because they're such best buddies and will put bro code above me? Should I talk to his friend today when we're one on one in person? If so, what should I even say without obliterating all potential of friendship developing into something more with him (the friend)? There are a lot of politics here too so whatever happens, we all need to at least be on good terms with each other.
Please be kind with me! I always mean well and have good intentions. I'm just in a position where I've started a new career role (overwhelming in and of itself), while also trying to see what unfolds when it comes to relationships (I'm at an age where there's more pressure). Any help/advice is appreciated!
My guy friend (Bob) and I got a bit too friendly at a nightclub. It wasn't like anything drastic happened, however we did hug several times flirtatiously which he mostly initiated. I might've initiated the very first one but it was pretty mutual. I didn't know how to deflect his multiple hugs especially in front of our peers where we usually have to be so PC and professional. Somehow, we started chatting after leaving the club, and I'm not sure how the topic came up but it was likely when he stated that I looked uncomfortable. I mentioned I just wasn't expecting us to get so physically close in a short period of time, at a nightclub nonetheless, even if it was hugs. I explained I tend to be more conservative with intimacy and we also just started our professional roles.
Our chat got so awkward, and I found that he has manipulative tendencies. He has constantly given mixed signals, pretended not to remember basic details about me that we've talked about admitting that he likes to mess with people, got defensive stating he doesn't want to be friends as this will be weird, he wants to tell his best friend about all of this, drank a lot and said he drove so it seemed he wanted an excuse to hang out. The punchline was when he said he doesn't think we should date and then asked if he hurt my feelings as it apparently looked like I was going to cry. I was confused because nothing had even started between us, and I felt like he was being really presumptuous or wanted to upper hand. He wavered back and forth, said he liked being friends with me and the group we've formed with his best friend collectively, apologized a few times for potentially leading me on. After all of this, he also told me he had been wanting to kiss me, clearly wanting to drag out the one on one time so late at night. Ultimately, we agreed there's mutual attraction but not enough or proper that we should act on it. We agreed one of us has to be the stronger one and I walked away first.
The big problem now is his best friend. I caught some type of feelings for him right before all of this happened and was actually hoping to see him. I made sure that Bob knows how much I value my friendship with his friend, with himself, and us as a group. He said he won't tell him details like the hugs but he does want to bring up the awkward gray area moment. My stomach is unsettled because I believe Bob planned this all along, as soon as I had a great deep talk with his friend with him in earshot earlier that same day. I think he got jealous and may ruin my connection with his friend. He even said he thought I'd make a nice couple with his friend. I asked if we should just all 3 sit together after a meeting we're attending tomorrow, and he deflected it. I get that he'd want to have real talk with his friend, and I told him point blank I'm not trying to meddle, but I now feel like I really need to do something from my side.
Should I tell his friend when I see him in person today (Bob won't be there)? If so, what do I even say and I should text Bob a heads-up right? Or give Bob more time to tell his friend since he's busy this weekend? Stepping back, is there anything to even tell Bob's friend? Because of the hugs or mainly that it became a gray area between friendship and romance? How can I deflect hugs without making guys feel rejected, especially when others are watching and we need to be very professional in this group? Is Bob someone I should stay away from and what could I have done better? Any other advice or thoughts are welcome. Thank you!
I have a number of Google Photos accounts that I believe I had backed up my iPhone to over the years. However, I hadn't deleted the backed up photos from my iPhone each time, so there are many duplicates across the multiple Google Photos accounts.
Can you please help me identify the most efficient way to remove these duplicate photos that are taking up so much space? I tried to compare two accounts at a time manually but this method is extremely time-consuming, and it would really help a lot to learn a more efficient way. I know how to move photos from one account to another, but the issue is one of the two accounts containing duplicate photos is at full capacity and the other is almost full. Even if they had free space though, would the duplicates show up side by side in the account they're moved to? Because if not, it'll be hard to tell if each photo was in fact a duplicate and therefore no photos were lost somehow in the transfer process, unless I again manually check at a detailed level. Maybe I can eyeball it and send the duplicate photos to a third account with more free space, delete the same photos from both originating accounts, and then send this batch of photos back from the third account to one of the originating accounts?
This has been bothering me for a long time and I would like to do all that I can to avoid buying Google storage over and over. Thank you!
I am so uncomfortable because of the new developments! He not only called but Facetimed me, and obviously does not want to have a trail. I am glad he ignored the reply I sent back via work email at the time but I thought that was it and he has resurfaced. What are your thoughts on the new developments described in my response to Aphelion above? This is so uncomfortable and I feel trapped!
Thank you for your advice. I want to so badly but I'm so afraid they will retaliate and slander my name especially because I'm not sure what my next career steps are and that could jeopardize future opportunities in the same line of work. What are your thoughts on the new developments described in my response to Aphelion above? This is so uncomfortable and I feel trapped!
Thank you for your advice. I liked your suggestion and did exactly this, even including a more distant salutation and explicitly saying "Farewell" whereas in my mass email to the whole group, I stated this isn't Farewell. He ignored my email thankfully, however he has called me again recently after I met Ann to thank her for her help. What are your thoughts on the new developments described in my response to Aphelion above? This is so uncomfortable and I feel trapped!
Thank you so much for your advice. I was really hoping I wouldn't have to come back to this post but there have been recent developments and not good ones. I like your advice to reply from my work email address and ultimately did so. Thankfully he ignored, and then I left the firm, thinking that was it. I did meet with Ann since I kept delaying a proper thank you and felt she still deserved that for helping me out. I briefly mentioned that in an ideal world, I would've had calls with more people before leaving, and that in reality I wanted to keep it very low-key so it was unnecessary for people to keep reaching out especially when I wasn't even that close to them. She immediately took this as some sort of reference that it was ok for Ned specifically to call me AGAIN and I know she blabbed every detail to him as well as the other tough coworker in my post (let's say Al). She asked if I called Al before leaving and I said yes and did that due to: 1) Al respectfully and explicitly suggested it well in advance, 2) I like and respect him, 3) we were working on the same project - none of which I can say about Ned. So Ned not only called me in the morning the next day which is a holiday - he had the audacity to FaceTime me. And why the fuck is he not sending a text or email at all? Why the fuck does he think he can just call out of the blue, especially after I have left the firm and have given the cold shoulder multiple times? The reason this is bothering me so much is that I want to be on good terms in case I go back to that line of work at some point. And they are all a toxic as shit package deal - Ned complains to Ann who spreads the word to all their little sycophants including this previous member of the group who left before me but is very well-connected and I fear she will snitch on me to a potential future company in the same profession. What should I do now? It is causing me anguish and I want to keep options open, however can I do that by ignoring him and can someone jeopardize someone else's job offer with slander??
Oh man they both didn't deserve you and another ounce of your energy! Thank you so much and will warmly welcome you to guest on my podcast haha, sending a big online hug back!
Thank you so much for your input, a lot to think about. I think I will wonder about him from time to time and worry about his welfare. It'll have to be from a distance. Stay well!
Not the same person but I don't know if that makes this better or worse, girl. And I'm fully aware my dating record so far has potential for a pretty profitable heartbreak podcast :'( Narcissist, tortured bad boy, lovebombers, guy who dumps me right before my favorite holiday, middle aged coworker who almost kidnaps me (we weren't dating, but damn).
It helped so much to imagine everything without the sparkly tingly feels. Frightening. I agree it was moving way too fast from his side and I truly hope he finds the resources to heal. I told him he deserves happiness and hope he stays well. I'll think about him time to time from afar. Unable to be with him, unable to forget him. That's the way it goes. Thank you for your help, friend
Well said, I still have scars but at least they're not open wounds anymore. And I do believe the breakup helped him in his journey even if it didn't seem like it to either of us at that point in time. It shook him awake a bit and hopefully offered some new perspective.
Thank you for the reminder, friend. I sometimes am the hardest on myself.
Please read post for full context and be kind with me. Any help/input will be appreciated!
We met on a dating app several months ago during a hectic time for me but I wanted to ease back into dating after a bad break-up. Witty banter right away with us via text. He was a breath of fresh air, direct and candid especially when it came to the most dark and traumatic topics. Something about the way he texted me made him stand out and made me feel something. However, I had qualms because as much as I find a "bad boy" thrilling, I can't say he's my go-to type. He has been through more than anyone should in an entire lifetime: divorce and drug addictions run in the family, absent biological dad and malicious step-dad, grieving many losses, PTSD, and he himself was an alcoholic who tried various hard drugs for some time (he says no longer the case). He had to care for his siblings and be the bread winner early on. It's not that I ever want to be judgmental or prejudiced, but I can't help feeling at least somewhat anxious and afraid of making another dating mistake, this time with a man who's already endured such complex pain. I am not sure if we are trauma-bonding, but I'm so scared if it is, as we've also already talked about my own parents' dynamic (not the "normal" happy relationship either) and losing friends who couldn't see the light.
With all this darkness, why do I feel so attracted? It's how he has dealt with all of the setbacks, and the way he's said things on his own accord that heal the most painful parts of my prior relationship with a narcissist. How he cared for his family, looked for his father, got past addiction. He consistently tells me the sweetest things and has already started calling me loving names whereas my ex refused to even months after becoming official, already asking me my birthday and wanting to make it special whereas my ex ignored me completely the day of my bday causing the breakup. He remembers the little things and is proactive with the big things - we've talked about our long distance, religion, politics, kids, hypothetical trips/travel. I've been love-bombed before, gaslighted, tricked, mocked, neglected. But I do not think he is love-bombing or desperate. He does double-text often and reply immediately each time, but does that necessarily label him "clingy" or that he just simply likes me? In the past, I wished my ex did that more.
I'm also drawn to his maturity. I wasn't ready for his all-in mentality when we first met, so I actually had to step back, and he was sad but respectful of my decision. I had no idea but he recently told me it took him weeks to get over me, but that he never completely did. He sent a one-word text a month ago before moving to another state hoping to update me or even maybe meet for the first time in person. I was overwhelmed by everything on my plate and recently responded; now we're texting nonstop and having calls for hours, letting it unfold naturally. He's already told me he's going exclusive with me and was sweet about me pulling away the first time. He said long distance may actually benefit us (I don't think he means opportunity to cheat, but more so because I'm also moving within my current state and will need to be extremely busy which he seems okay with) and that I'm the only person he would move back for. We've openly discussed my trust issues and his fear around marriage but that he truly wants to settle down/have kids. We're in the process of seeing when we can at least meet in person soon.
So taking all this in, I have questions for you all. Does he seem genuine in what he says and his intentions? Does he need too much self-work before entering a relationship? Is his past alarming or any red flags relating to his experiences? Are we trauma-bonding or am I overthinking/letting my own insecurities get in the way? How can we make long distance work when it's starting off this way and even if he moves, I'm apprehensive about balancing everything with my intense new career role? During long distance, I won't have much time to spare for visits until next year (but can meet up this summer) so should we keep it an open relationship or no label, even though that could bother me as I'd prefer exclusivity? Then again, we've both been searching for the right person and if not now, when? It may always feel like it's not a good time because it's always busy. Also, about trauma-bonding, aren't we all bonding over some sort of shared trauma or struggle in order to build a deeper connection
Edit: Do any of your answers change if his PTSD is from serving as a veteran, not family related abuse (as far as he knows)?
Please read post for full context; any help or input is appreciated! I disclosed sensitive info to a close female coworker (let's say Ann), who is best friends with the male coworker mentioned (Ned). I'm sure she told him, but then they both seemed to want me to still tell him directly. I did because I believe in doing the right thing, and Ann also was a huge help for something relating to my info, even though I strongly did not want this secret to spread. Ned kept it secret; however, I detest how he started feeling like he had the upper hand and could manipulate me like a puppet to do stupid intern shit for him like repeatedly printing files, including evenings and even attempted to reach me on the weekend by text. I ignored and replied from my work email the next Monday. I could see in his eyes that he had romantic thoughts about me which is largely what made all of this sickening. Ann also went behind my back to tell my private business to one of our other coworkers, who is extremely judgmental and tough on people, and even he did not exploit it - leading us to actually become much closer and respect each other.
What pissed me off the most was when Ned - and Ann - ganged up and tried coercing me into letting him drop me off at home on a Saturday night after I reluctantly made sacrifices in my schedule to meet with them two - choosing to ignore my multiple clear "NO" about the ride as I preferred public transportation. I was having a panic attack in his car while they just relentlessly and repeatedly egged me on, thinking they could break me. They finally let up after going back and forth, and I went home by public transpo.
Ned went to a different team so we didn't talk for months. I then updated everyone in a mass email about my leaving the overall group, and that's when he called. Again, he waited until evening - after work hours - to call me. I instantly feel disgusted as it took me back to that traumatic experience. Why can't he just get the hint and drop it? I did not reach out to him directly to update him, even though it is related to the original sensitive info, because I do not want to talk or encourage anything! I do not want to keep in touch with someone who completely disregarded my preferences and basically nearly kidnapped me. I have no interest in him platonically, romantically, or professionally. Should I call back, text, email from my soon-to-expire work address, email from my personal address, or ignore him? I'm afraid it'll still bug me if I ignore. I also want to be on good terms with Ann (she has some connections where I'm heading to and I fear she'll retaliate), even if she doesn't understand what went wrong and no one has apologized since that incident.
I would really appreciate any help! I connected with this guy on a dating app a few months ago and we started texting. It naturally paused while I was traveling during the holidays, and he said update him upon my return. However, I had to deal with a traumatic personal matter and needed time to decompress after the loss. I was still thinking of him though and knew I had to text him. A month later, I apologized and explained everything; he was thankfully understanding.
Eventually, it became several phone calls for 2-3 hours each time (I initiated the 1st one after he said let's plan a date and I was too drained to jump right into meeting in person). Talking was so natural and calls flew by. Then we soon met for our first date in person, and I know the order of events was perhaps already a disadvantageous road less traveled, but the date didn't go well. Leading up to the day of, he mentioned feeling nervous and kept asking if I was too, so I tried to make him feel more at ease. I recognize that the guy does not owe the gal paying for her on a date, as assumed by certain gender role stereotypes, but from my experience the majority have at least offered to cover a beverage and it is appreciated. He did not, and threw me off even more by taking my coffee (I ordered first and we ultimately had the same order), leaving me there awkwardly waiting for the next one to be made while he put his cream/sugar in. I felt that was strange and rude right off the bat, even with nerves.
When he mentioned the next spot he wanted to head to after that, we went but it was too crowded and I consider it to be one of my safe havens in general so I started feeling anxious about spending hours with him there especially after the coffee incident. I politely suggested a similar smaller, less crowded venue and he seemed offput, as if I was personally attacking his choice. We did go but he made remarks that alluded it fell short of his expectations. He was also quite different in person, behaving aloof and unfocused which he admitted is his usual demeanor, expressing how emo and dark he can be as well. This was right before Valentine's Day so I wasn't surprised when we did no contact until he texted 1.5 months later, apologizing for ghosting me and saying he wasn't mentally ready for dating and felt really lost. I haven't replied and it's been another month.
He seems a bit depressed and I genuinely want nothing but for him to be well. Part of me has wanted to reply but I fear him ignoring it for another month and this continuing to drag out (I take accountability for contributing to that), or worse - ghosting me completely. I don't see a romantic future with him at this point and want to handle this the right way. Should I reply or leave it be? If reply, how should I phrase it? Was the coffee thing just due to nerves? For 1st dates, thoughts on whether guys should pay and if it's okay for gal to counter with a different venue? Any other input/advice?
I am no stranger to Excel and Tech in general, however this stumped me! This all occurred on the corporate laptop where we connect to the network remotely using a security token ID. Any help is extremely appreciated as I would hate to have to do hours of re-work. Adulting is hard.
I was working in an Excel spreadsheet, when suddenly the Excel application started glitching. Any updates to a given cell would not immediately reflect. I could only view the change after toggling to a different tab and returning to the tab with the updated cell. Instead of clicking the Save button, I clicked the Exit button on the Excel file as I know a pop-up would be triggered if changes were made since the most recent save. The file closed with no pop-ups, so I figured that was because I had already recently saved the file which I remember doing. I then rebooted the laptop, logged in again with new token as we do each time, expecting to see all my updates when re-opening the file. Especially because the time stamp of the file clearly indicated the moment right before the reboot. But the file had completely reverted to the original state! I even checked many other local folders including Downloads, Documents, Desktop. I checked the Recent Files panel within the Excel file but all versions were also in original state. I looked for the Auto-recovery panel but none was available.
I'm panicking as I'm really in a bind and time crunch. I considered consulting our IT team but they are usually so slow and would most likely be too late, if they can even recover the updated file. Is it possible to recover the updated file in general now? What was the issue in this series of events, and what would have been the best solution? Any other advice or insight to help me out? Thank you all!
Please be kind as this topic is a pain point for me. I'm feeling the pressure of finding my significant other because I'm at an age where it seems like everyone in my social media feed is getting engaged, married, or having kids. The issue is I have a huge transition coming up and will have to move in a few months to a place that is a few hours away by car. I will have a lot more free time soon before moving, but then after I've moved to the new location I will be extremely busy and worry that I won't be able to sustain a relationship, let alone a long distance one. However, I am very aware that the clock is ticking and something else to consider is that I need to rely heavily on dating apps currently, whereas there would likely be more potential suitors where I'm headed to. What if I do find the right person during this seemingly short window of time? What if we could make the long distance work or he wanted to move with me? Or do you think it is smarter and there is more potential for me to meet someone at the new location after getting situated? Any advice or suggestions are welcome. Thank you!
Please be kind with me as I am new to this platform. I was at a club when a very handsome guy, totally my type, started dancing with me. I don't know what gave me the courage to take the half finished beer from his hand and take a sip of it without asking. I then gave his beer back to him, and he said he had to go but will be right back. It was an excuse to stop dancing with me since he just stayed put in his friend group without going anywhere. I've been feeling really bad after that happened and would have danced the night away with him if I could. And now I have no idea what his name or phone number is, just keep replaying that night in my mind.
What is your opinion on a woman taking a man's beer and having a sip without asking? Is it such an awful gesture that his sudden rejection was warranted? Was he angry, scared off, or just thought I was easy? I am not that type of person and had no ill intentions whatsoever. I just acted on natural impulse and was trying to be flirtatious. Thank you for any advice and comfort.