Before I was a ten, my mother was desperate to leave her home state and met a man online/a romantic post, moving states away. Had to be 1997, 1998.
Where i grew up no one had my values or my interests. My spouse of 10+ years i met on a free MMO back in 2010s we both happened to play and got to know each other there, then after a year chatting daily on cam, phone calls, and dms we met up.
So "meeting online" is really vague and can mean a lot of things. It's also gone from being new, some dating apps may help people connect, to being enshittified. Never used it for dating but OK cupid WAS ok at looking for like minded friends for like a second.
But people sharing hobbies and falling for each other probably will always happen even as the apps suck.
I wouldn't have found someone geographically near me with my same morals and hopes and wants out of life. I have never found "my parents and your parents birthed us here and so maybe we should get married" to be enough common ground.
The only people in real life i have met who have ever complained about small talk were in the context of "i do not care enough about [the people around me] to pay attention to anything [they] say not directly relevant to me/my hyperfocus" and i just realize they're the "everyone else is an npc" crowd and let them be sulky all the time and hate every social thing they have to do, and I'll have a fine time chatting with the cashier about her day! These are always the same people who say everyone else is boring, not that they have given anyone the time of day.
Tbh if they see others like that im happy to not give them my time and show interest in them either. All social is give and take on every level and those people are always takers. We're where we are now because of people who can't bother to care about the lives of others.
I just checked it out last night, i had a feeling it was a fun project for the actors, regardless of the overall quality, i wanted to see how they enjoyed performing.
To be honest i didn't hate it. It was longer than it should be, sucked itself off while also having awkward theater kid feeling moments. But i didn't find it as disjointed as everyone talked about, if you watch some media that's figurative you'll be fine, it's mostly more or less just a linear narrative following the main characters.
Honestly it wasn't the worse use of my time, for me. My partners watched with me and one left feeling frustrated at the conclusion (no spoilers) and felt their time was wasted, while the other just could not have their attention held, there were a lot of 'i am deep' shots that if you dont enjoy that you just wont.
All that is to say I didn't pay anything for it, so i had less reason to come in with any expectations. Oh, and I never found I liked the Godfather or his other "classics" so i came in expecting an old man's passion project and that's what i got. The actors felt like they had a blast so i couldn't help watching the whole thing for them.
All and all, if you can see it for free and appreciate it for what it was (a fun bad movie) i think it's fine. If anything i found the ending to be a bit saccharin for a movie that tried to be dark? Some of the parts wrapped up ridiculously im still kind of stunned.
Who needs to fix things from the ground up when you can just throw in more and more code! You can just fix it with more code!
I think the issue people arguing with you that you don't seem to get is that not everyone does want it to stop.
You seem blind to that reality that there is a large portion who arent even looking or talking that people are dying.
Who think what is going on and continuing is fine, or even good or right. And those people are in the positions to even try to limit any of it, and wont.
You're not arguing honestly if you really claim the reason no one in power speaks against it is because it's too hard? That seems really unlikely doesn't it? "It's difficult and we're looking at legal options" and "we will continue to arm and defend them" are wholly different.
It isn't, but when I peeked it (looking for an instance) felt particularly hostile in general. My reading here about the drama makes me feel like them leaving did everyone a favor.
I would think you'd understand needing to stop and fight for justice is a little more youthful than moving on, not putting a stake in something that's really objectively a waste of your time and energy vs organizing your own space that accomplishes what you want?
Or is it easier to white knight and try and demand other spaces cater to you specifically?
Explicitly you were upset you were properly moderated, then grew indignant. The internet doesn't exist to make you comfortable, especially in your errors. Now, at this point, you're just kind of the stereotype "takes online so seriously they're the other side of the troll horseshoe" because i don't think you would grandstand so hard in a public space about being told you made a mistake.
Of course, maybe you would and have lived a privileged life where everyone always bent to you, and that's another situation entirely. Being uncomfortable for the first time can be upsetting, and tbe internet does allow you to rant in ways i don't think you would in a real dynamic with people you saw as real and equals in their own space that you entered voluntarily.
Do you typical get defensive when you make mistakes and people correct you or do you find this particularly hard not to feel like your ego was attacked?
The people here do like to be snarky, but welcome to the internet? Especially when someone makes themselves an amazing target by sulking or pouting. Kids always love to pick on the kid with no emotional regulation, and humans dont change much from childhood.
Lemmy is a little hard to understand at first and I am sure plenty of people get embarrassed, but do you ever find you catch a lot of flies with that vinegar or does it just make you feel better to act out?
She was a lot of getting used to. Luckily she was old when I got her so she eats twice a day, pottys three or four times, and sleeps the rest of the day away.
Still, a lot when two litter boxes and an autofeeder is all my cat needs! Weirdest part is the dog likes to lick and has actually had a few hairballs?? And my cat doesn't?? 😂
The bimbofication of the chat bots has been weird to watch. I played with Replika back when it was an egg billed as "a chat bot you teach to chat how you want" more than a romantic parter.
Were they ever good conversationalists? No, but if you're someone who likes to externally talk things through they could be a fine echo of a generally positive generic person.
Now they feel so gross and desperate/pleading it feels weird to interact with them.
Have a cat, was planned. Feel obligated cause i rescued her ass 8 years ago, and she's really easy and low maintenance.
The big dog i have was rescued after an elderly family member passed away and there was no one else to take her in.
I love her to pieces but i definitely wont be getting another 60 pound+ dog in a 3 floor walk up! 😩
Yeah if you moved from like the US south to PNW for instance, I personally know someone who's done the move and is trans who found themselves feeling kinda the the same thing bc of how standoffish ppl here are. I did the move ten years ago and personally loved no longer being roped into being social with everyone, but it does legitimately mean i greet ppl who never even acknowledge me and sometimes that makes me feel rejected/judged even though i know it's not personal.
For me, i appreciate knowing that no one around me cares enough to pay attention, but i grew up in a small town. I don't find ppl as involved in my business outside the south, but I know the social scripts of greeting and interacting makes some ppl feel safer/as if ppl care even though they're just as likely to dislike you where im from.
But yeah idk progressive folks ironicly care LESS to pay too much attention. They'll often glance and assume queer and then just try and guess based on their feelings of gender which can be just as bad and stereotype ladened as anyone from anywhere. Right now a lot of ppl are fucky on gendered traits even if they mean well cause of culture war stuff. I know trans ppl right now who clock others the wrong direction. Everyone is sensitive of upsetting others but no one will just ask pronouns if they arent sure. I HATE how chicken shit scared everyone is up here about everything!
Ppl in the US south sort of culture, in my experience, dont have enough to do so they're always bored. ppl in progressive places got shit to do and want to end any exchange as fast as possible regardless of who you are and usually dont really pay attention during the exchange to the person they're talking to cause they're in their own head about their shit. (・_・;) making friends can be really hard here too :(
Um. I could be totally wrong i am definitely not an authority, but your experience made me think of this. My friend has been here 5 years and is only just now realizing that ppl here disrespect everyone by not paying enough attention to even TRY and get pronouns right for anyone slightly gender nonconforming (this even means traits on a cis person others have just decided should be only one one gender presentation even though humans aren't really very sexually dymorphic) in appearance cis or no right now.
They just guess and I see it wrong all the time for cis people too. It's not to diminish your experience! Im closer to 40 than not and have seen lack of care trigger someone just as much as genuine transphobia and it doesn't make the dysphoria less anguishing im so sorry. 💙
Edit: i think my friend told me something like "where im from they're just honest when they hate you, here it feels like less people care or hate me, but more people here feel like they don't want me around at all regardless of anything about me personally. And that happens more often here than the hate did there." if you can relate to that!