Programmer Humor @programming.dev ruffsl @programming.dev 8 mo. ago

Programming languages personified - leftoversalad

43 comments

I love how JS is just a mutant blob of flesh.
- Kanedaaa
  
  Tetsuoooooo
- Ah yes JavaScript bad
  
  I like Javascript... but it is certainly an unholy amalgamation of mismatched parts that, in the end, can get pretty much anything done if you don't mind 100+ node dependencies.
  
  Yes.
- Should've made s typescript one, that is a mutant blob of flesh with a life jacket on it.
This is awesome. Rust wearing full plate armor to dinner is hilarious... Also what's up with Scala? lmao
- Well, obviously she was already in full plate armor when her friends called, so why take it out?
- I assume Scala is like a "gateway" (drug) to functional programming by way of also supporting imperative and object oriented paradigms.
  
  Probably more importantly, it runs on the JVM and is designed to interoperate with existing Java code. (FWIW, I actually think they made a major mistake in how they handle null Java objects, and that Kotlin did better here; but Kotlin is much newer.)
  
  Ouuu. This makes sense to me, well thought
- And being the designated driver.
My experience in going from C to C++ was different: if you're not converting everything from mallocs with custom addressing systems to the collections framework, you're not living.
- My experience with C++ was when C++ was a relatively new thing. Practically the only notable feature provided by the standard library, was that unholy abuse of bit shift operators for I/O. No standard collections or any other data types.
  
  And every compiler would consider something else a valid C++ code or interpret the same code differently.
  
  I am little bit prejudiced since then… and that is probably where the author is coming from too.
  
  Then things were just getting more complicated (templates and other new syntax quirks), to fill the holes in attempts to make C a 'high level language'.
  
  C++ from 11 onwards started to really shine and since C++17 it's got some good shit inside
  
  Yeah wtf is up with the overridden bitshifts? Was Stroustroup drunk?
Erlang really is the necromancer's language.

Why is Swift... like that?
Thanks for a good morning laugh!
This is epic.

Can anyone explain Java, PHP and Perl to me?
- Java is extremely widespread in corporate companies - hence the suit and tie. Perl is fair to liken to spelunking deep into a dark cave with only your wits to save you.
  
  PHP seems to be a reference to the fact that it's extremely common on servers... but it also might be a lazy phpbad joke - it's pretty weak either way (if you wanted to play into the server characteristic give it a dozen arms serving the entire restaurant in the background).
  
  As a Perl dev, I dunno if that's how I'd characterize the language, but I'll take it over yet another "Perl is unreadable line noise lol and what's the deal with airline food" reference.
- Guess PHP is a server...
  
  That seems to be the consensus. That's pretty weak, salad people, you know you could have done better.
Everyone hates on PHP and JavaScript.
- JS, at least, deserves it.
  
  How do you feel about TypeScript
- The Javascript reference could be read as how every project ends up with an unholy list of npm dependencies - it's awful to look at but it works.
  
  I think the PHP reference was just "idk servers or something?"
So, what makes Haskell god tier?
- Purely functional programming is a pathway to many abilities OOP devs consider to be... Unnatural
- I think it's more the idea of being an abstract ideal. It's totally pure and often mathematical.
- Nothing...that's just how they perceive themselves.
- IMO the ackchyually guy would be a better fit for Haskell. "Ackchyually monad is a monoid in the category of endofunctors!"
I love Lisp dialects!

You've viewed 43 comments.