Anon likes sharpners

[typos preserved]

be me
4th grade
bring 3 sharpners to school
friend tells me thats a lot of sharpners
bring 3 more sharpners the next day friend gives me his sharpner to grow my collection
start collecting more and more sharpners
go to stationary every week to by more sharpners
collect about 70 sharpners by the end of the month
start bringing a tiny bag to carry thoes sharpner
english teacher asks for a sharpner
offer her the bag thinking she'd be impressed
sees all my sharpners and writes a note to my parents
only allowed to bring 1 sharpner
idea.jpg
make a huge sharpner out of cardboard
dad helps me to color it with red and silver spray paint
display it on my table during the english period
get sent to the office

fun days

55 comments

Eng teacher missed the opportunity to bring a giant pencil
- Besides, why do they only allow for one sharpener? Seems like a complete bullshit for the sake of forcing compliance
  
  School often represses creativity in favor of compliance.
  Doesn't have to have a reason. The teacher finds something strange, you are punished. Think of blonde hair in Japanese schools.
  In my parents' times, going to school in jeans was forbidden (in center Europe).
  
  Anon was probably a smartass about it and the teacher made a new rule instead of dealing with it in some other way. Him making that giant sharpener is additional evidence of that
  
  I had two teachers like that. 4th and 5th grade.
- My English teacher tried to flunk me in Jr. High
Now that’s some quality father son bonding
A good prank harms no one.
A+ kid, well done.
- Good on Dad for helping out too
- F to the teacher
The teacher missed an opportunity to encourage the anon, “Oh anon how kind of you to carry around enough sharpeners to share with those who don’t have any, thank you!” That said 70 is a lot, I just hate when teachers only see the negative side of things and punish kids for stupid reasons.
- Teacher saw something they thought was stupid. They made a power play. Saw kid work around it and took it personally. Asserted limited authority.
  Being a teacher is a tough job. Thing is, just like with therapy: If you've reached the point where you're going to throw around that authority willy-nilly, you are no longer a leader, you're a bully. Fuck off and work somewhere else.
  Course this may not be the whole story. Could be the kid had been a nuisance for months before this point with the sharpie bag being the excuse a child's mind would focus on when other behaviors were the real cause.
  
  Yes, you are correct on all points. But even if there were prior issues encouraging words can turn things around, no reason to discourage and frustrate children over something small.
- Yeah, it feels that punishments like these are just to force conformance. How dare you do something childishly funny as a child!
  
  I'm pretty sure "ensuring conformance" was listed in the discipline section of the handbook at a school I went to as a kid. They viewed it explicitly as their duty.
- I just hate when teachers only see the negative side of things and punish kids for stupid reasons
  Yeah I hate how most teachers treat little boys too
True pettyness is its own reward
- 🤣
I've always held a sliver of hope that the Principal knew which teachers were full of shit and sending kids to their office just because they're bad teachers.
- They might know, but usually they’re too busy to do much about it outside of extraordinary circumstances
- You'll have detention tonight. I'm calling your dad so he can bring the pizza. Smash Bros good?
I knew a guy in high school that would use the blades from sharpeners and pen ink to give himself tattoos. They were about as good as you can imagine.
- Bet he grew up to have a successful career in prison.
  
  I lost touch, but it seems likely.
  
  Possibly as a laser tattoo removal specialist?
I once, fatefully, wondered what would happen if I sharpened my little finger (it fit so well) and now I can't even look at the damn things. Anyway, now you have you think about that too. Tbf the way the nail peeled was briefly very satisfying before it went too far...
- I've never cringed so hard that I puckered my lips until today. This was worse than the concept of nailclippers on teeth.
  
  Why? Why? Why?
  Glad I'm not sleeping for a few hours. I don't need this in my head.
- You could've stopped before that last sentence...
- I'm pretty sure I once or twice tried sharpening my nail, but I never went too far.
  On the other hand (pun intended) I once got the end of my fing the pinched between the pneumatic cylinder and the thing it was actuating. There was a bit of a clearance so it didn't flatten my digit, but it left a good amount of blood under my fingernail, which hurt a lot. A friend advised me to grab a small drill bit and put a hole into the nail so the pressure is relieved, but it didn't want to go through... Until it bit in and I drove it maybe a millimeter into my flesh. That hurt even more... But after a while it got way better.
  
  Oooooof. The skin under your nails is not meant to see the light of day and it shows. That shit is sensitive.
- Thanks for ruining my day! =D
Just buy one quality sharpener that isn't shit and will last
As someone who parents kept buying cheap sharpners every few years I hate cheap sharpners because they often break the tips of pencils and get jammed unless you apply a amount of force that starts to get uncomfortable if done for a while
- i don't think that the story was about sharpeners
  but i can see that your sharpeners have traumatized you deeply and that's the 1st thing you hear when you read the "be me"
- What do you look for when searching for a quality sharpener?
  
  It must have a sharpener sharp enough to sharpen.
  
  Not the original commenter, but high carbon steel blades, and preferably a magnesium body.
  Something like https://www.jetpens.com/KUM-No.-410-Magnesium-Pencil-Sharpener-2-Hole/pd/16525#index=0
You'd think that someone whose best story was about sharpeners would learn to spell sharpener.
- My impression was that they were writing it as they contemporaneously verbalized it for effect and/or whimsy. Kids eat the e.
  
  And then they go clubbing.
This was me with pencils, except I never got in trouble for it and my parents weren't fans.
Hot take: OP went to grade school with 70 razor blades in his backpack. That probably had something to do with the response here.
- IDK, if he didn't have a tiny screwdriver, it's a non-issue. And even if he did, wouldn't it be easier to just stab someone with a pencil?
I was confused for a moment. For me, a "sharpener" is a "knife sharpener" first and foremost...

55 comments